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Are swans sinister?

Are swans sinister?

  • Yes, they are really creepy and sinsiter.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • No, they are lovely creatures.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    0
Ian

Ian

From CoasterForce
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I think that swans are one of the most sinister animals/birds on the planet. Yes, there may be a few QI siren moments in this explanation, but bear with me.

Firstly they tend to mate for life. There’s nothing wrong with monogamy per se, but they are ****ing animals and this is the 21st century. I think anybody that has just one partner and settles down with them a bit strange.

cygnets300_tcm9-140317.jpg

A paedophile swan, yesterday.

Swans are also property of The Queen. When a prisoner is incarcerated, he is at “Her Majesty’s pleasure”. What crime must have some swan committed many moons ago in order to be at Her Majesty’s pleasure? We don’t know, so there’s obviously some cover up. Treason perhaps? Trying to overthrow a monarch. That’s well sinister.

1202010_00181_002%20mute%20swan%20180_tcm9-50364.jpg

A scheming swan, yesterday.

When swans swim, one leg is tucked under their wing. So that’s like Heather Mills swimming and we all know how evil she is.

It’s also truth that a swan can break a mans arm with just their wing! Amazing. What other birds do you know that could do that?

They even look like they are wearing a mask! What do they have to hide?
mute_swan_180_tcm9-66776.jpg

A swan looking shifty, yesterday.

This is probably a myth, but apparently mute swans only make a sound when they are dying. Call me suspicious, but any creature that spends his life in silence, just to talk when he’s about to croak is a bit selfish. Imagine you’re by a lake and you hear a swan, you know that it’s about to die. That swan has made sure that you feel concerned about it and it will play on your mind.

Still not convinced that swans are sinister? Then here’s my trump card…
220px-Cygnus_Atratus_Singapore.jpg

A black swan in da hood, probably plotting a drive-by, yesterday.

EDIT: I've found out some more facts:
Swans have far more neck vertebrae than mammals, with 24 or 25 vertebrae; most mammals only have seven.

Swans in general have the largest eggs of any flighted bird.

So, do you think swans are sinister?
 
YES!!! They're scary....

Huge too....

The mating for life thing is cute though...

But it's not enough to redeem them...
 
I think ducks are pretty sinister too.

And I think your story would be better if we could see the last image. Unfortunately it's been anti-hotlinked.
 
Yes, I've changed the image now. That's how sinister they can be, trying to hide themselves.
 
Ironically enough the black ones are less sinister :p

They don't quite have the evil face of the white ones...
 
That's true, Lucy, but you wouldn't be able to see it at night. Sinister.
 
PMSL! Awesome stuff Ian! :)

They are sinister, yeah. The thing that amuses me though is how scared people are of them.

I've got pictures at home (I'll post them later) of a swan that was terrorising people at Warwick castle in October.

It was waddling around the picnic area threatening hungry picnickers in a very un-Yogi manner. It was going from table to table - literally right up to the table. It would hiss loudly and when the person moved, it would have their ham butty. There were kids having food stolen from their fingers (had to laugh) and grown men running to hide behind trees away from it.

To be fair, it was ****ing huge though. Mean bastard. It gave me a long, hard stare and I returned it. Battle of wills ensued, but I'm not letting a criminal get the better of me. It backed down and left me alone - then went around the table to pick on the minors instead. I had to get up and tell it to sling its hook! It wasn't impressed, we had chicken legs it quite fancied.

Fortunately, it didn't try any of a its arm breaking swan martial arts on me. It did keep hissing though and trying to stare me down. Eventually it sloped off to a different table to menace (and they let it - bloody wimps).

So yes, they're sinister, menacing and pretty bloody evil.

Ducks are just amusing and crap.
 
No, swans are peachy! And my gramma would like, flip if she saw this topic becaus she <3's swans!

Geese are the real trouble makers. Damn things, I try to feed them and they go attacking me, and one time they chased my dad down a golf course.
 
Swans are quite sinister because they are extremely territorial and very protective over their young. So thats why they can attack a lot.

But this on Wikipedia made me laugh

"The Mute Swans in the moat at the Bishops Palace at Wells Cathedral in Wells, England have for centuries been trained to ring bells via strings attached to them to beg for food. Two swans are still able to ring for lunch"
 
I'd like to eat one, but hunting regs state that they are under protection of the Queen.
Ohhh
Click to expand...

Someone around here shot a swan and is being fined like $1500. He said he didn't realize it was a swan, but he's a bird hunter and how the heck can you mistaken a white swan for a goose?
 
Can't you still get hung or something for killing a Swan?
They're not that bad. I don't see them enough to see how sinister they are.
Turkeys though. Don't even get me started on them. :p
 
The links still don't work, it's saying the page is unauthorized, but snice I can't see the pictures, are the swans white and are the geese white? Because like I said, the swan was white, and we sure as hell don't have white geese up in hurrr'.
 
Geese are waterfowl, unlike Swans, however they are both from the same "sub family" of water dwelling birds, something like Anserinae, however from the pictures above I think it is quite clear they are both difference in shape, note the prounced neck on the Swan compared to the Goose, for example, and the theory of a game hunter not standing ten feet away, well maybe.....

But the majority of guns do have telescopic sights.
 
See I would've seen the Swan and gone "thats a Swan", guess Canadians aren't as well educated on these matters.
 
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