It's taken a little while to get around to writing this trip report, for this was an exhausting one that I needed to process fully. I went to Efteling with Phoenix Adventures, which meant two overnight coach trips back to back. I did my 12-hour-day here (it was open from 10 Am to 10 PM) on only 2-3 hours of sleep, so I was shattered by the end. It was an overwhelming day in every sense and my back was aching by the end of it, for this is a park that needs a lot of walking. It's considerably bigger than Alton Towers, which is saying a lot! Anyway, I'll start off by reviewing the rides and I'll use my normal system. It'll be ratings out of ten for the bigger and more major attractions, while kids rides will just have a rating out of 5.
Warning in advance - this is going to disappoint a lot of people but... I didn't really do the Fairytale Forest. I just couldn't do much more walking at that point and that will have to be a second visit experience. I did see a little bit of it though, including Long Neck, and I'm glad I got to see him!
Dark Rides / Water Rides
I'll start out by talking about these and hot damn, there's so much to say here!
Carnaval Festival: Two of the guys I was with referred to this as a particularly hilarious Dark Ride and yep, they're absolutely right. It is very funny indeed, with a soundtrack that'll get stuck in your head all day. At first, I found it a little naff but by the end, I was taken in by its silly charm. The way it represented various different countries was undeniably hilarious. 8/10
Danse Macabre: The first ride I did and... wow. What a tour-de-force. What a masterpiece of a ride system and what an incredible piece of storytelling. One of the fellow guests described this ride as absolute cinema and I couldn't agree more. It's such a dynamic experience that mixes ambience, visuals and physical thrills in a singular way. I went in largely blind and was mesmerized from start to finish. Honestly, I cannot wait for more of these to pop up at other parks, and I think Disney or Universal would really benefit from one of them. Speaking personally, if there was a horror movie themed park, I think a Carrie ride using this system would slay! I wish it had been even longer, which is the only real complaint I've got. 9.5/10
Droomvlucht: Hot damn, this ride is virtually perfect. Apparently, it nearly always has one of the longest lines in the park and there's a reason for that. It's a classic ride, one of the older ones and it has aged like a fine wine. Those sets that you go through are beyond breath-taking, especially the ones in space, and I love the way that you're floating over them in a suspended car. Also, that rollercoaster-like helix at the end was the cherry on top of an amazing cake. One of the best Dark Rides ever! 10/10
Fata Morgana: This made me think of Pirates in Batavia from Europa Park and, for those of you who've actually done a Disney park unlike me, it'll make you think of Pirates of the Caribbean. Fata Morgana, however, is more about Arabian Nights and that sort of thing. It's perhaps dated compared to some of the other rides here and sometimes, the timing is a bit off. For example, at one point I could see a giant animatronic through some open doors up ahead when another boat was going through, so the surprise was spoiled. But hey ho, it's still excellent overall, even if I couldn't follow the story due to not being a Dutch speaker. The detailed sets, the lifelike models and the wonderfully mysterious atmosphere made this a wondrous boat trip that's well worth taking. I'll never forget that giant Genie animatronic! 8/10
Pagode: I don't really know how to rate this one, as it's an observation ride. I'm not going to give it a rating but suffice to say, this is going to be one of the best observations rides you'll ever do. It looks lovely, it provides amazing views and the ride system is totally unique. It's also great how you're exposed to the elements and not behind glass, so there's a tiny bit of thrill to be had. Above all, though, this ride is wonderfully relaxing.
Pirana: I always love going on a River Rapids ride that's actually, you know, good! The UK does not do this type of ride well. Much like Britain, the Netherlands gets incredibly cold so you won't get too wet on this one, but you will have a great time splashing around, bumping into and overtaking other boats, and soaking in the ambient scenery. Not essential, but a good water ride and I'd argue that it's superior to any of the River Rapids currently on offer in the UK. 7/10
Symbolica: Is this... yeah, it probably is. Yep, this is pretty much the best Dark Ride I've ever been on. A flawless ride system, tear-jerkingly beautiful sets, stunning animatronics and best of all, that overwhelming sense of wonder that transported me away from daily life and all of my worries. This ride is a masterpiece and one that reminds me why I go to theme parks. There are three routes you can do and my group picked the red one. I'm looking forward to trying the other two another tine. Anyhow, yeah, what a gem. I couldn't quite believe it was real, the technology that must go into this sort-of thing - the thought hurts my head a little. Then again, perhaps I don't want to think too much. I just want to soak in the majesty of Symbolica. This ride is a magic trick and as Michael Caine says in Christopher Nolan's The Prestige, you don't really want to know the secret to a good trick. 10/10
Roller Coasters
I did all six, with one side each of both the duelling coasters. Joris was only running one side and I wasn't really willing to wait another half an hour for the green track on Max & Mortiz. I'll go ahead and do a ranking here.
6. Python: Python is... I would say it's the ride-equivalent of a glass of tap water but that feels a bit harsh, for tap water is incredibly refreshing. Rather, this Vekoma Looper is flavourless, aside from the greyout on the two vertical loops. It just exists. It's as smooth as glass but never truly thrilling, and the most memorable thing was the way that we were made to take our bags on, which is highly unusual for a ride of this type. Oh, and that was one of the slowest lift-hills ever too. Basically, it's as dead-average as a looping coaster can be. 5.5/10
5. Max & Moritz: This was the only rollercoaster of the trip that was just a +1, so I decided to try and make it a bit more interesting by doing a straight-faced challenge. I failed. The geezer that explodes partway through startled me and besides, this is probably the best powered coaster I've done. Alongside the dynamite theming, it has a speedy and dynamic course with loads of twists and turns. In the queueline, there's a bit where you can play a tune using whoopee cushions - as you do. You'd never see that in America, that's for sure. 4/5
4. Joris en de Draak: Joris is... fine. If anything, I was a tiny bit underwhelmed. I'm sure it would've ran better had it been duelling but I don't know, really. The first drop provides strong airtime, the rest rattles along with an impressive sense of speed but less in the way of genuine forces. Sure, it is a family park yet Wicker Man is essentially a Family Thrill coaster and I find that far more forceful and exciting than Joris is despite being so much smaller. I did two rides on Joris and though my second ride was slightly better, I largely felt the same: it's a good woodie with a nice lakeside setting, but GCI are capable of so much better than this. 7/10
3. Vliegende Hollander: This one is three fifths a masterpiece. The station is one of the best I've ever seen and the Dark Ride section at the beginning is magisterial, complete with a shocking surprise drop in the dark. However, it does let its foot off the gas once it goes outside into the main coaster section. That part is still good, but pretty forceless and they could've afforded to go a bit harder, especially considering what a work of genius the indoor section is. 7.5/10
2. Vogel Rok: Vogel Rok is what X: No Way Out should've been. It's an enthralling indoor coaster that maintains a fantastic pace and feels so much faster than it actually is, while the soundtrack was kick-ass too. It's only a short ride, but it makes every second count and it was my second-favourite coaster in the park. Also, got to love that giant bird animatronic outside the station.
1. Baron 1898: As well as being by far the most extreme rollercoaster at Efteling, I'd argue that this is the best. The layout is already very good, with an airtime-filled drop and two whippy inversions. It might not be as extreme as some enthusiasts are hoping for but then again, getting something as intimidating-looking as this was a gamble for Efteling. I think this is a bit like Blue Fire at Europa or Drakon at Paulton's; it's trying to strike the right balance as a gateway coaster. On that level, it absolutely succeeds and provides a thrilling, smooth ride experience. Having said this, what really elevates it is, of course, the theming. This is one of the most beautifully-themed thrill coasters you can find anywhere and that is what enhances this ride and takes it to the next level. As such, even if this rollercoaster is something of an outlier in this more family-friendly park, it perfectly represents what Efteling does so well. 8/10
Overall Thoughts
Pros: As no-one will need to be told, this place is ridiculously stunning and well-themed. Furthermore, the line-up of non-coaster attractions is ridiculously elite, the food was delicious and there are all sorts of lovely little details, such as a bin themed as a mouth that sucks your food in and vending machines that dispense hot food. The water and lights show that played at the end was absolutely beautiful, I could feel my eyes stinging a little bit. If anything, I do wish I'd had a couple of days here, as it would've been nice to go at a slower pace and soak this all in even more.
Cons: With the exception of Baron, all of the rollercoasters force you to take your bag on with you, which wasn't very comfy and made me feel quite worried. It is also a confusing park to navigate and if I hadn't been with a couple of guys who'd done Efteling numerous times, I would've been lost. Finally, the ride line-up is largely strong but not perfect. I think it's a huge missed opportunity that this place has never had a traditional log-flume, for you can do so many amazing things with that. I appreciate how cold it gets in the Netherlands, but still. As for the coaster line-up, I feel it's missing that one elite Family Thrill Coaster... yet looking on the bright side, the Thrill Glider that's coming in three years could be precisely that. I hope so. This might not be a coaster park, but coasters are still important and in my view, that's an area where this park lacks.
Overall though, I'm super-grateful to have ticked this one off, and it is an undeniable masterwork that shows what a theme park can be when those in charge really look after it and focus on the aesthetics. I'll look forward to returning, probably when the 2029 Thrill Glider arrives. Oh, and as for Phoenix Adventures? I recommend them, for they're fantastic value and the tour operators really looked after us. They sent an Uber to pick me and the other London arrivals up (traffic meant that the coach would struggle to get in on time) and they paid for that. They also did a meticulous head-count every time the coach stopped somewhere so that no-one was ever left behind. If you don't drive, like me, they're an amazing option, but do be warned that sleep will probably be sacrificed a bit.
Thanks for reading!
Warning in advance - this is going to disappoint a lot of people but... I didn't really do the Fairytale Forest. I just couldn't do much more walking at that point and that will have to be a second visit experience. I did see a little bit of it though, including Long Neck, and I'm glad I got to see him!
Dark Rides / Water Rides
I'll start out by talking about these and hot damn, there's so much to say here!
Carnaval Festival: Two of the guys I was with referred to this as a particularly hilarious Dark Ride and yep, they're absolutely right. It is very funny indeed, with a soundtrack that'll get stuck in your head all day. At first, I found it a little naff but by the end, I was taken in by its silly charm. The way it represented various different countries was undeniably hilarious. 8/10
Danse Macabre: The first ride I did and... wow. What a tour-de-force. What a masterpiece of a ride system and what an incredible piece of storytelling. One of the fellow guests described this ride as absolute cinema and I couldn't agree more. It's such a dynamic experience that mixes ambience, visuals and physical thrills in a singular way. I went in largely blind and was mesmerized from start to finish. Honestly, I cannot wait for more of these to pop up at other parks, and I think Disney or Universal would really benefit from one of them. Speaking personally, if there was a horror movie themed park, I think a Carrie ride using this system would slay! I wish it had been even longer, which is the only real complaint I've got. 9.5/10
Droomvlucht: Hot damn, this ride is virtually perfect. Apparently, it nearly always has one of the longest lines in the park and there's a reason for that. It's a classic ride, one of the older ones and it has aged like a fine wine. Those sets that you go through are beyond breath-taking, especially the ones in space, and I love the way that you're floating over them in a suspended car. Also, that rollercoaster-like helix at the end was the cherry on top of an amazing cake. One of the best Dark Rides ever! 10/10
Fata Morgana: This made me think of Pirates in Batavia from Europa Park and, for those of you who've actually done a Disney park unlike me, it'll make you think of Pirates of the Caribbean. Fata Morgana, however, is more about Arabian Nights and that sort of thing. It's perhaps dated compared to some of the other rides here and sometimes, the timing is a bit off. For example, at one point I could see a giant animatronic through some open doors up ahead when another boat was going through, so the surprise was spoiled. But hey ho, it's still excellent overall, even if I couldn't follow the story due to not being a Dutch speaker. The detailed sets, the lifelike models and the wonderfully mysterious atmosphere made this a wondrous boat trip that's well worth taking. I'll never forget that giant Genie animatronic! 8/10
Pagode: I don't really know how to rate this one, as it's an observation ride. I'm not going to give it a rating but suffice to say, this is going to be one of the best observations rides you'll ever do. It looks lovely, it provides amazing views and the ride system is totally unique. It's also great how you're exposed to the elements and not behind glass, so there's a tiny bit of thrill to be had. Above all, though, this ride is wonderfully relaxing.
Pirana: I always love going on a River Rapids ride that's actually, you know, good! The UK does not do this type of ride well. Much like Britain, the Netherlands gets incredibly cold so you won't get too wet on this one, but you will have a great time splashing around, bumping into and overtaking other boats, and soaking in the ambient scenery. Not essential, but a good water ride and I'd argue that it's superior to any of the River Rapids currently on offer in the UK. 7/10
Symbolica: Is this... yeah, it probably is. Yep, this is pretty much the best Dark Ride I've ever been on. A flawless ride system, tear-jerkingly beautiful sets, stunning animatronics and best of all, that overwhelming sense of wonder that transported me away from daily life and all of my worries. This ride is a masterpiece and one that reminds me why I go to theme parks. There are three routes you can do and my group picked the red one. I'm looking forward to trying the other two another tine. Anyhow, yeah, what a gem. I couldn't quite believe it was real, the technology that must go into this sort-of thing - the thought hurts my head a little. Then again, perhaps I don't want to think too much. I just want to soak in the majesty of Symbolica. This ride is a magic trick and as Michael Caine says in Christopher Nolan's The Prestige, you don't really want to know the secret to a good trick. 10/10
Roller Coasters
I did all six, with one side each of both the duelling coasters. Joris was only running one side and I wasn't really willing to wait another half an hour for the green track on Max & Mortiz. I'll go ahead and do a ranking here.
6. Python: Python is... I would say it's the ride-equivalent of a glass of tap water but that feels a bit harsh, for tap water is incredibly refreshing. Rather, this Vekoma Looper is flavourless, aside from the greyout on the two vertical loops. It just exists. It's as smooth as glass but never truly thrilling, and the most memorable thing was the way that we were made to take our bags on, which is highly unusual for a ride of this type. Oh, and that was one of the slowest lift-hills ever too. Basically, it's as dead-average as a looping coaster can be. 5.5/10
5. Max & Moritz: This was the only rollercoaster of the trip that was just a +1, so I decided to try and make it a bit more interesting by doing a straight-faced challenge. I failed. The geezer that explodes partway through startled me and besides, this is probably the best powered coaster I've done. Alongside the dynamite theming, it has a speedy and dynamic course with loads of twists and turns. In the queueline, there's a bit where you can play a tune using whoopee cushions - as you do. You'd never see that in America, that's for sure. 4/5
4. Joris en de Draak: Joris is... fine. If anything, I was a tiny bit underwhelmed. I'm sure it would've ran better had it been duelling but I don't know, really. The first drop provides strong airtime, the rest rattles along with an impressive sense of speed but less in the way of genuine forces. Sure, it is a family park yet Wicker Man is essentially a Family Thrill coaster and I find that far more forceful and exciting than Joris is despite being so much smaller. I did two rides on Joris and though my second ride was slightly better, I largely felt the same: it's a good woodie with a nice lakeside setting, but GCI are capable of so much better than this. 7/10
3. Vliegende Hollander: This one is three fifths a masterpiece. The station is one of the best I've ever seen and the Dark Ride section at the beginning is magisterial, complete with a shocking surprise drop in the dark. However, it does let its foot off the gas once it goes outside into the main coaster section. That part is still good, but pretty forceless and they could've afforded to go a bit harder, especially considering what a work of genius the indoor section is. 7.5/10
2. Vogel Rok: Vogel Rok is what X: No Way Out should've been. It's an enthralling indoor coaster that maintains a fantastic pace and feels so much faster than it actually is, while the soundtrack was kick-ass too. It's only a short ride, but it makes every second count and it was my second-favourite coaster in the park. Also, got to love that giant bird animatronic outside the station.
1. Baron 1898: As well as being by far the most extreme rollercoaster at Efteling, I'd argue that this is the best. The layout is already very good, with an airtime-filled drop and two whippy inversions. It might not be as extreme as some enthusiasts are hoping for but then again, getting something as intimidating-looking as this was a gamble for Efteling. I think this is a bit like Blue Fire at Europa or Drakon at Paulton's; it's trying to strike the right balance as a gateway coaster. On that level, it absolutely succeeds and provides a thrilling, smooth ride experience. Having said this, what really elevates it is, of course, the theming. This is one of the most beautifully-themed thrill coasters you can find anywhere and that is what enhances this ride and takes it to the next level. As such, even if this rollercoaster is something of an outlier in this more family-friendly park, it perfectly represents what Efteling does so well. 8/10
Overall Thoughts
Pros: As no-one will need to be told, this place is ridiculously stunning and well-themed. Furthermore, the line-up of non-coaster attractions is ridiculously elite, the food was delicious and there are all sorts of lovely little details, such as a bin themed as a mouth that sucks your food in and vending machines that dispense hot food. The water and lights show that played at the end was absolutely beautiful, I could feel my eyes stinging a little bit. If anything, I do wish I'd had a couple of days here, as it would've been nice to go at a slower pace and soak this all in even more.
Cons: With the exception of Baron, all of the rollercoasters force you to take your bag on with you, which wasn't very comfy and made me feel quite worried. It is also a confusing park to navigate and if I hadn't been with a couple of guys who'd done Efteling numerous times, I would've been lost. Finally, the ride line-up is largely strong but not perfect. I think it's a huge missed opportunity that this place has never had a traditional log-flume, for you can do so many amazing things with that. I appreciate how cold it gets in the Netherlands, but still. As for the coaster line-up, I feel it's missing that one elite Family Thrill Coaster... yet looking on the bright side, the Thrill Glider that's coming in three years could be precisely that. I hope so. This might not be a coaster park, but coasters are still important and in my view, that's an area where this park lacks.
Overall though, I'm super-grateful to have ticked this one off, and it is an undeniable masterwork that shows what a theme park can be when those in charge really look after it and focus on the aesthetics. I'll look forward to returning, probably when the 2029 Thrill Glider arrives. Oh, and as for Phoenix Adventures? I recommend them, for they're fantastic value and the tour operators really looked after us. They sent an Uber to pick me and the other London arrivals up (traffic meant that the coach would struggle to get in on time) and they paid for that. They also did a meticulous head-count every time the coach stopped somewhere so that no-one was ever left behind. If you don't drive, like me, they're an amazing option, but do be warned that sleep will probably be sacrificed a bit.
Thanks for reading!