I’d been aware of the Norfolk/Suffolk trip whilst it was still in the planning stages, but decided against going. I already had most of the creds, bar the burdenous new +1 at Pettitts, hotels and restaurants were only just starting to open back up after lockdown, and it’s at least a four-and-a-half-hour drive down to the Great Yarmouth/Lowestoft area, assuming clear roads and no stops along the way. In hindsight, I actually wish I’d made the effort, as the two weekends away that I did make the effort for were amazing fun.
South Wales, on the other hand, was a whole different ballgame. I’d been to Oakwood once before, for the 2014 CF Live, and discovered that whilst Oakwood was a charming little park with a lot of potential for a fun day out, it was also home to some truly terrible operations, and therefore was ill-equipped to cope with anything resembling a crowd. I’d always wanted to go back at some point, preferably when the park was a little quieter, but there were always other, higher priority places I wanted to visit, and given how far out of the way Oakwood is, I’d never got around to making a return trip. Well, suddenly, a wonderful bunch of goons decided to throw out an invite, and all of a sudden, I’d found my excuse to trek all the way back down there. Thanks, you wonderful lot!
There are photographs from the weekend. I always take far too many to post inline in my reports, but you can find the full album online at
http://mouseat.co.uk/albums/august-2020-oakwood-and-the-south-west, where they'll stay until I have to make space for newer pictures in a few years' time.
So, Oakwood with COVID precautions. That means no Drenched, no train at the entrance, no indoor restaurants, and assigned seating on trains, with separation between groups, staff all wearing masks, and trains being cleaned after each cycle. Ironically, due to the park being relatively quiet, this probably meant shorter queues than normal, as despite low throughputs, there wasn’t much of a queue for anything when we visited.
What else was unavailable? A couple of irrelevant indoor attractions that we’d probably never have bothered with, and Bounce, which appeared to be down for a major overhaul. Sure, it’s not amazing, but it’s a bit different, so it’s probably a toss-up between that and Drenched as to which I was more disappointed about missing out on.
On the plus side? Waterfall, present and accounted for. Oh yes!
So, rides. Speed to begin with. A perfect example of exactly why Eurofighters caught on with parks, and also a perfect example of most of us wish they hadn’t. ‘Nuff said.
Megaphobia then. I never rode it when it was at its best, so I can’t comment on how it used to be, but it certainly has the feel of a ride that’s lost a lot over the years. It’s a bit jolty in places, but not painfully so, and has a few moments of spectacular airtime, but it’s also got a whole bunch of dead spots where it feels like it’s just rattling along when it really should be doing something spectacular. With some TLC, it could probably be amazing. Right now? I think I described it something along the lines of “it has moments where it shows some of the brilliance that it probably once had”. It’s fun, if a little underwhelming.
I may as well comment a little on the ghost trains on this trip. I can’t remember exactly how many we ended up riding in total – I think I probably rode four, and everyone else probably rode a fifth at Brean. Classic ghost trains can be a real mixed bag. Some of them are quite impressive, whilst some are really bland. Many of them re-tread the same old ground, using the same old horror tropes, yet there’s nearly always something unique to each one that’s either really cool, or at least could be turned into a really great concept. It’s something that I’m really starting to appreciate as I ride more of them. I don’t remember much standing out about the Oakwood one, though.
Crocodile Coaster has already been mentioned. I rode it solo at Camelot, back in my early goon days, and rode it again at Oakwood in 2014 with CF, so I’ve got the cred, have already undergone the rite of ritual embarrassment, so decided to break out the camera, and capture all of my fellow delightful goons in their natural habitat.
From here on out, there was a clear trend that would extend to all of the remaining parks on this trip; Wherever we’d visit, we’d all end up riding loads of unusual, interesting and random flat rides. Oakwood is a great park for all of the little side attractions, so the scooters, flume (with a full boat, because hey, we can fit all five of us in there), vertical drop slide, and bobsled all on the to-do list, we were able to comfortably fill the rest of the day on park, and have a lot of fun doing so.
There’s a running joke amongst the PC gaming group I normally play with that whenever I’m driving a car in game, I don’t know when or how to apply brakes. Apparently, this carries over to the bobsled. I decided to go full speed, promptly fell sideways in the first corner, somehow managed to bounce myself back onto the ‘sled, gave a quick thumbs up to the ride op at the top of the lift hill to indicate “it’s good, the only thing hurt is my pride”, and then proceeded to be a little more cautious the rest of the way down. Fortunately, as the last one of our group to ride, there were no witnesses, nor does any photographic evidence of my mishap exist.
Finally, the day had to end with the one ride that most people had been avoiding: Waterfall. I’d come prepared with my Waterfall survival kit (otherwise known as a full change of clothes in the car), and was ready to brave the tea trays once again. Fiona was somehow persuaded to join me, and managed to at least avoid disaster, despite catching a lot of spray going down the trough. I, meanwhile, have pretty much no idea of what happened during my ride; I only know that I had a laser focus on the end of the waterway, and next to no peripheral awareness until I hit dry land at the end of it.
So that was Oakwood. Probably the most conventional park day when compared with any of the days that followed, as we all subsequently decided to abandon the idea of quick “in and out” cred runs from here on out, and embrace the tackiness of most of the places we’d subsequently visit. From here, it was onwards to Swansea for a chilled group meal at Dennys, and then over to Porthcawl for our first dose of crazy seaside flat rides… but that’s a story for another day.
