Slut or Virgin?

[ECG]

Short term relationship (more than a one night stand) & would be seen by friends (possibly family). Who would you choose to date?
Do you go for the guaranteed good time ho-ho or the oh so prim & proper goody two shoes?


Before I got married & settled down I didn't care so much about my reputation if I knew the girl I was going out with wasn't going to be the start of a serious relationship. If the choices were equally attractive I'd go for the one that I was more likely to have a good time & get lucky with, rather than the one I knew would be nice but never do the naughty bits.

 

[tomahawk]

IF it were truly going to be a short term relationship, and nothing could be contracted, I say go dirty girl route. I mean if they both are equally good looking, there yeah go. But if there was the herpasyphullitus risk, no way in hell.

It doesn't really matter to me anyways, as I am in a committed relationship, plan on staying in this one.

 

[Hixee]

IF it were truly going to be a short term relationship, and nothing could be contracted, I say go dirty girl route. I mean if they both are equally good looking, there yeah go. But if there was the herpasyphullitus risk, no way in hell.

Yes, pretty much.

If there was no risk of anything nasty, I'd take the ho, but if there was... no chance. In all honesty I'd rather be with someone in between. They know what the deal is and how to go about the business, but their pussy isn't like wizard's sleeve yet.

:lol:

 

[furie]

Slut for weekends and virgin for weekend best. Why not go for the best of both worlds?

 

[nealbie]

To be brutally honest, anyone who goes in to a relationship NOT intending it to last forever is a bloody pathetic excuse for a human being!

Sex isn't something to be bandied around and worn like a trophy - it's a physical manifestation of the immense trust and feelings shared between two people.

With a slut, you wouldn't know whether it was because they LOVED you or they just wanted sex; so automatically, (if you HAVE to pick one from this pathetic fap-material) it's the 'goody-two-shoes'. Not that that's the right way of describing the person either - simply more shallow, insensitive comments from across the pond.

You want someone who you know is doing these things with you because they share the same intense feelings that you have for them - not because they feel obliged or just want a shag for the sake of or 'because it's cool'.

 

[furie]

Do people really think like that? I didn't actually realise. It's a bit "bunny boiler".

A relationship should always be fun. Sometimes the fun developers into something deeper, sometimes it fizzles out and you realise that there's not enough between you to continue.

There's more to this though. Most people have "private sexual urges". We have ways and means of dealing with those urges in the privacy of our own rooms (well, I hope you keep it to your own room, but hey, if you're stuck on a station platform and alone, it's all good I guess). It's not dirty, or wrong - its just natural.

Why not invite a friend along to join in though and satisfy both your urges at the same time? It's like playing Wii together (make sure it's the right Wii, unless you're German ). It's alright on your own, more fun with somebody else.

Nothing wrong with a bit of lust every now and then (as long as you do it with safety in mind). The issue comes when people can't distinguish between love and lust. Love is something that develops over a long period of time. It can come from a meeting of lust, or it can develop naturally and innocently. Lust, it's just an outlet. It doesn't mean you're incapable of love, it just means you're more relaxed about having a good time.

I'll be honest, I've never "dated". My "relationships" have either formed from a meeting of lust (prolonged one night stands I guess, I find one night generally isn't enough) or out of friendships that have been forged over a long period beforehand. Of the one night stands and "**** buddies" I've had, there's only one I've never talked to again, and I'm friends with everyone I've ever slept with besides her.

It's a workable system, as long as everyone understands where they are and are having fun. If a relationship works, I go with it. If it doesn't, then I end it before people start to get too hurt. You don't know until you try though, but the idea of going into a relationship thinking it's always going to be "long term" is a recipe for disaster and hurt. Relax, enjoy the moment and see where it all ends up.

 

[Will]

To be brutally honest, anyone who goes in to a relationship NOT intending it to last forever is a bloody pathetic excuse for a human being!

OK, I think 'forever' is a little extreme - especially at our age people learn, if only from bitter experience, to be more realistic than that - but as for the point that it should be part of something of actual worth and indeed every other point you raise, I can only say 'Here ****ing here'. Meaningless sex is so called for a reason and at the risk of being called sentimental, romantic, old-fashioned or worse, those to whom it's the most important thing, those who think in terms of sensations rather than emotions, are to be pitied.

Keeping in mind that the end goal of the 'short term relationship' is a small part of a much bigger picture, I'm assuming I'm meant to be siding towards the 'goody two shoes' in terms of the poll. Otherwise, it's too early in the morning to rage against promiscuity.

 

[Ian]

Sluts are turnoffs. Virgins are turnoffs.

With a virgin, there's the opportunity to "mould" somebody to my own sexual desires, but with a slut there's the opportunity to discover new things to add to my sexual repertoire.

As there is no preferred "whatever" option, I'd go for slut. No, virgin. No, slut. And so on.

 

[spicy]

IF it were truly going to be a short term relationship, and nothing could be contracted, I say go dirty girl route. I mean if they both are equally good looking, there yeah go. But if there was the herpasyphullitus risk, no way in hell.

Yes, pretty much.

If there was no risk of anything nasty, I'd take the ho, but if there was... no chance.

Its all well and good saying that, but how are you to know if there is anything nasty?
Just make sure you rubber up, and hope theres no public lice :lol:

To answer the poll, at this moment in time im not looking for a relationship so the slut 'just for fun'. Although the slut isn't someone that I would want to have a serious relationship with so when I am looking for a relationship it would be the 'goody two shoes' girl who wants to be taken for a good time and maybe shown some commitment before she jumps into bed.

 

[Hixee]

IF it were truly going to be a short term relationship, and nothing could be contracted, I say go dirty girl route. I mean if they both are equally good looking, there yeah go. But if there was the herpasyphullitus risk, no way in hell.

Yes, pretty much.

If there was no risk of anything nasty, I'd take the ho, but if there was... no chance.

Its all well and good saying that, but how are you to know if there is anything nasty?
Just make sure you rubber up, and hope theres no public lice :lol:

It was a hypothetical situation, you'd never really know.

 

[spicy]

You would know a few weeks later

 

[A-Kid]

Right time to rant, indirectly.

This just shows how society has fallen into ruin that sluting about without a care become an option. How the Media has completely ****ed with the heads of standard people, sexualizing their minds to the point it just becomes the norm. MTV Music videos with glamorization of alochol/party slags with no clothes, with their tits out, unlawed and bad style fed right into the minds of kids of a young age, that grow up to believe that this is "how it just is" or that they would try to be like them because they are loaded with money, seeing all this as a good thing.

Ha, Im just waiting to hear kids (Chavs) that admire the likes of Rianana (anything of THAT kind that glamorizes Sex) to start singing on the street how they like wips and chains and liking the smell of sex... (S&M)

Pisses me right off how people just fall for what they see on the magical telly box, then copy it into there standard lives to make their lives more like celebrity lives. We are going backwards. Not fawards. Why can't people just use there own minds and imagination.

Relationships/Love should be special to people. Something that should have some thought put into. A magical experience. Not just centred around another piece of flesh with a hole in the middle to dip your wick into like a ****ing animal.

I'm sorry if this is rather 'out there', but I'm fed up with it all. I go down the 'Good girl' route, as I would like someone that I can respect.

 

[Hixee]

^Whilst I see what you're saying, sexual advertising is hardly a new thing. The Romans seemed to be into all that stuff. The only difference is it's slightly more accessible now.

 

[Ian]

^ I think A-Kid was getting at "it's acceptable to be a slut" nowadays. Although it happened in the past, it was hush-hush which gave people a sense of self-respect. I could make a sweeping statement and say that people nowadays have little self-respect thanks to social policy of previous governments, but that's another kettle of fish.

Lol, fish!

 

[Hixee]

^Ahh... I see what you/he mean now. I was looking at it differently, thinking he was meaning that 'sluttyness/sexual fiendishness' was new. My bad.

 

[ciallkennett]

Let's see - in my current state of mind, it would have to be a virgin. I mean, I am a virgin and I'd rather lose my virginity to somebody who is also a virgin as it would mean more to me than if I lost it to somebody who'd slept with a lot of guys.

I find it especially hard to find people my age who are still virgins though - something like 80% of 18 year olds have lost their virginities (according to the stat I remember from The Joy of Teen Sex).

But putting all that in mind, if I really, really liked the person (you could call it love...but as people have said, love only comes from severe lust over many years), then I couldn't care if she was whore of the year or virgin of the century. My girlfriend is currently a virgin, and that's more than fine with me.

 

[nadroJ]

I prefer someone who is less experienced in bed than me but is also open to things.

Virgins tend to not be very confident (speaking in generalities of course, there are exceptions) and so sex can be awkward and take time to be what I would call good.

Sluts tend to think they know everything and want to whip through every position doing everything imaginable on the first go.

Preferably someone inbetween, who isn't afraid to try new stuff and be a bit outgoing, but who doesn't want to completely rush into things. Yeah.

And also, to everyone saying people who 'slut around' should be 'pitied', one night stands can just be a bit of fun if you're that way inclined. I know some people wouldn't ever dream of it because it's not their style but you're not a terrible person just because you've had one (or a few). Like furie said, sometimes we do give in to lust and that is most definitely not a terrible awful vile thing. Sure, the sex isn't as meaningful and loving as with somebody who you're in a relationship who you love but it can still be a good experience, one night stands aren't always this terrible crime they're hyped up to be.

Yeah.

 

[furie]

This just shows how society has fallen into ruin that sluting about without a care become an option. How the Media has completely ****ed with the heads of standard people, sexualizing their minds to the point it just becomes the norm.

My opinion and attitude was formed 20 years ago Leigh. Though not from the church youth group

In certain environments and situations people are allowed "sexual freedom". It may not be to your liking (or others), but promiscuity is the norm in a lot of places. It's not come from watching images on TV, and it's not practised solely by girls with their tits out all day long. It's a healthy, sexual release experienced by a multitude of intelligent, happy, balanced and presentable members of society.

Everyone is allowed their own opinion on this front and every person is right for themselves. It's almost split between rampant rabbits and bunny boilers here

Fair enough whichever you are - but there are lots of parts of society out there that are more accepting and open minded. It doesn't mean you should rush out and shag as many people as you can, feel free to hunt for love and respect. Some of us just prefer to do the shagging first while we're young and capable and hunt for love and respect later. and YES, you CAN respect yourself if you've slept with hundreds of people (so I've heard . And for those who say "well I could never respect and love anyone who has been around hundreds of men/women" - I say, be careful what you say, because life can throw things at you rapidly that make you change your world viewpoint exceptionally quickly.

 

[Ben]

I prefer someone who is less experienced in bed than me but is also open to things.

Virgins tend to not be very confident (speaking in generalities of course, there are exceptions) and so sex can be awkward and take time to be what I would call good.

Sluts tend to think they know everything and want to whip through every position doing everything imaginable on the first go.

Preferably someone inbetween, who isn't afraid to try new stuff and be a bit outgoing, but who doesn't want to completely rush into things. Yeah.

And also, to everyone saying people who 'slut around' should be 'pitied', one night stands can just be a bit of fun if you're that way inclined. I know some people wouldn't ever dream of it because it's not their style but you're not a terrible person just because you've had one (or a few). Like furie said, sometimes we do give in to lust and that is most definitely not a terrible awful vile thing. Sure, the sex isn't as meaningful and loving as with somebody who you're in a relationship who you love but it can still be a good experience, one night stands aren't always this terrible crime they're hyped up to be.

What Jordan said.

I don't see where some people in this topic are getting off on judging other people's sexual choices? It's their body to do what they want with, stop judging them just because they (in a sensible way) don't see sex as some be all and end all of love. It can be a pure expression of love, but, it isn't always. Building it up in that way will only leave you angry and bitter in the end when you realise it's not really like that. I used to want sex to just be some quasi-religious, life-changing expression of love, but, that was only because it was before I actually got it and I was just bitter at being lonely. Hmmm...

As for the topic, and not some people pushing abstinence harder than the latest Twilight movies because of their lack of life experience, I'd rather be with someone in the middle. I probably couldn't keep up with anyone too crazy and experienced, but, losing the gay virginity is such a faff with so much to go wrong it's just so death that I don't really want to have to walk someone through it again, haha. Too lazy for that.

 

[ECG]

I was using the terms rather loosely. Slut is just to stand for a partner that you knew in advance that you would be able to have sex with & the virgin was an absolute 'no way'.
This discussion took a bit of a different turn than the one we were having with some friends the other night. It was about how I had so many partners before meeting my wife & how most were short term relationships with girls that I knew I would only have a short term relationship with. And since I wasn't wanting anything else besides casual sex with multiple partners over a short period of time, why did I go out with a virgin that I knew I wouldn't have sex with & why didn't I care about me reputation by going out with so many girl that everyone knew I was bedding?
I for one, didn't feel like it hurt my reputation since they were more than one night stands (in most cases) & with girls I knew very well since we hung out together at the same places night after night. That fact alone I felt showed that my reputation was fine or else all those girls would not have dated me.
Going out with a virgin was just for an afternoon ride on my motorbike, so there was never any intent of anything more to come from it. However, we really got along & we worked at the same office, so we saw each other often. We continued going out from time to time to go to museums, movies or meets-up with other office friends & after a couple of years of this type of casual dating found that we wanted to start a more serious relationship.
Of course many people would rather go out with someone in the middle, but that wasn't what the conversation was about & therefore I left that option out. No middle of the road here.