Rob Coasters
Rob Poster
I've travelled with Coaster Breaks a couple of times in the past now, and the announcement that one of its very own members had planned a day at Emerald Park which included 30 minutes of exclusive ride time on one of their roller coasters was enough to get me back. The last time I visited in 2022, their new area was not yet open, so I could grab that too.
We were going to meet 20+ others for a day of enjoying the park, but somehow I was one of the only people flying up from London. I was subsequently reminded of why Heathrow is one of my least favourite airports in the world, and soon enough we were on our way for our private half-hour with the attraction.
Three years after riding it for the first time and declaring it my new favourite ride ever, Cu Chulainn barely hangs onto the top 50, though thankfully now by virtue of me riding more exhilarating roller coasters and not the result of the ride aging poorly. I was a little weary of booking this private riding session after my friend came off a few weeks before my visit declaring the ride as "one of the worst and roughest roller coasters [they've] ever ridden", but I followed through anyway, and I am happy to announce that Cu Chulainn retains its status as an excellent ride, providing countless moments of airtime in a layout full of events and things happening. It's not all sunshine and rainbows though, as the overbank has a maneuver that one of my other friends refers to as the "pocket emptier" with three rhythmic and heavy thumps throughout it which is fairly uncomfortable. Also - something that really confuses me with this ride is how the right side of the train is incredibly enjoyable, but the left half of the train I am actively fighting against a far more prominent rattle. My riding partner for the private hire agreed heavily with this, so it wasn't just me. I really do wonder why this was the case, and why the difference in riding quality was so major.
Here is our group. Can you find me?
Despite these shortcomings I still enjoy the ride, but this is perhaps the only coaster where I will have substantial preference over what side of the train I want to be in.
I managed to stay on the train for all 11 laps until the park officially opened for the day, moving one row down and switching sides every time. The coaster has 12 rows however, but thankfully the one row that we missed was somewhere around the middle anyway so it mattered not.
The park's new area, Tir na nOg, is based off the Fountain of Youth and is deeply rooted in Irish culture. The main event of this area is a pair of intertwining family/thrill coasters, the first being #489 Fianna Force. The second of this ride type that I've ridden, this ride model continues to prove that it's a winner in providing a coaster sprinkle of inversions that everyone can enjoy. A fantastically accessible ride, it doesn't overdo it in terms of intensity and while as a ride it doesn't quite stand up against Cu Chulainn, this is still something I can see myself gaining multiple laps on. I only managed to ride this twice (both in the back) but the layout has a great mix of inversions, forces, laterals and airtime that you don't typically see on inverted coasters. I do think that this model does need to do a little more to separate itself further from the family versions, but what they have so far is a good start.
My only grip is that the aforementioned combination of inversions & not-inversions isn't executed as well as its sister in Germany. In that one, the inversions are more spread out, but here, they're all done right at the start. I think I would have liked a final third inversion right at the end, then I think it would have stacked up better against the original.
The family coaster of Tir na nOg is #490 Quest, another Family Boomerang. These rides are at their best when they provide worthwhile interactions with nearby scenery or other attractions, so clearly it's done well here. I enjoyed this ride and got to try it in both ends of the train; the end of the vertical spike at the far end of the track is always a little freakish in the front and worth riding!
The rest of the day was spent milling around not doing much. The desire to ride other attractions was very little at this moment, and found myself spending around half an hour on the Spiral Mound, an incredibly random hill which is a commitment to walk up and down, and the view at the top isn't even that good either, but it's a solid example of just how silly this park used to be (and still is).
Remnants of the park's Tayto past are long forgotten and zeroed away as we continued to wander aimlessly throughout random nooks and crannies. We found a small train ride, but then it started to become unnaturally miserably cold and wet for the entire rest of the day. I briefly re-grouped for a final lap of Fianna Force before making my way to an abandoned pizza place and falling asleep, soaked to the core.
Exhausted and practically one with the water, the desire to ride anything else had reached zero, so before anyone else in the group, I headed out the gates and returned to the airport at a stupidly early time. Despite the weather, I thoroughly enjoyed the private riding session, and serious props to Tom for organising everything himself - that takes a lot of work.
I suppose there's a silver lining to not writing any of these reports for over a year. In March 2026, the Thorpe Park passholder day, I met a friend who I hadn't seen since this visit to Emerald Park. They jokingly asked if I had dried off yet from being eternally rained on, and my answer was that I still felt the weather from that day.
We were going to meet 20+ others for a day of enjoying the park, but somehow I was one of the only people flying up from London. I was subsequently reminded of why Heathrow is one of my least favourite airports in the world, and soon enough we were on our way for our private half-hour with the attraction.
Three years after riding it for the first time and declaring it my new favourite ride ever, Cu Chulainn barely hangs onto the top 50, though thankfully now by virtue of me riding more exhilarating roller coasters and not the result of the ride aging poorly. I was a little weary of booking this private riding session after my friend came off a few weeks before my visit declaring the ride as "one of the worst and roughest roller coasters [they've] ever ridden", but I followed through anyway, and I am happy to announce that Cu Chulainn retains its status as an excellent ride, providing countless moments of airtime in a layout full of events and things happening. It's not all sunshine and rainbows though, as the overbank has a maneuver that one of my other friends refers to as the "pocket emptier" with three rhythmic and heavy thumps throughout it which is fairly uncomfortable. Also - something that really confuses me with this ride is how the right side of the train is incredibly enjoyable, but the left half of the train I am actively fighting against a far more prominent rattle. My riding partner for the private hire agreed heavily with this, so it wasn't just me. I really do wonder why this was the case, and why the difference in riding quality was so major.
Here is our group. Can you find me?
Despite these shortcomings I still enjoy the ride, but this is perhaps the only coaster where I will have substantial preference over what side of the train I want to be in.
I managed to stay on the train for all 11 laps until the park officially opened for the day, moving one row down and switching sides every time. The coaster has 12 rows however, but thankfully the one row that we missed was somewhere around the middle anyway so it mattered not.
The park's new area, Tir na nOg, is based off the Fountain of Youth and is deeply rooted in Irish culture. The main event of this area is a pair of intertwining family/thrill coasters, the first being #489 Fianna Force. The second of this ride type that I've ridden, this ride model continues to prove that it's a winner in providing a coaster sprinkle of inversions that everyone can enjoy. A fantastically accessible ride, it doesn't overdo it in terms of intensity and while as a ride it doesn't quite stand up against Cu Chulainn, this is still something I can see myself gaining multiple laps on. I only managed to ride this twice (both in the back) but the layout has a great mix of inversions, forces, laterals and airtime that you don't typically see on inverted coasters. I do think that this model does need to do a little more to separate itself further from the family versions, but what they have so far is a good start.
My only grip is that the aforementioned combination of inversions & not-inversions isn't executed as well as its sister in Germany. In that one, the inversions are more spread out, but here, they're all done right at the start. I think I would have liked a final third inversion right at the end, then I think it would have stacked up better against the original.
The family coaster of Tir na nOg is #490 Quest, another Family Boomerang. These rides are at their best when they provide worthwhile interactions with nearby scenery or other attractions, so clearly it's done well here. I enjoyed this ride and got to try it in both ends of the train; the end of the vertical spike at the far end of the track is always a little freakish in the front and worth riding!
The rest of the day was spent milling around not doing much. The desire to ride other attractions was very little at this moment, and found myself spending around half an hour on the Spiral Mound, an incredibly random hill which is a commitment to walk up and down, and the view at the top isn't even that good either, but it's a solid example of just how silly this park used to be (and still is).
Remnants of the park's Tayto past are long forgotten and zeroed away as we continued to wander aimlessly throughout random nooks and crannies. We found a small train ride, but then it started to become unnaturally miserably cold and wet for the entire rest of the day. I briefly re-grouped for a final lap of Fianna Force before making my way to an abandoned pizza place and falling asleep, soaked to the core.
Exhausted and practically one with the water, the desire to ride anything else had reached zero, so before anyone else in the group, I headed out the gates and returned to the airport at a stupidly early time. Despite the weather, I thoroughly enjoyed the private riding session, and serious props to Tom for organising everything himself - that takes a lot of work.
I suppose there's a silver lining to not writing any of these reports for over a year. In March 2026, the Thorpe Park passholder day, I met a friend who I hadn't seen since this visit to Emerald Park. They jokingly asked if I had dried off yet from being eternally rained on, and my answer was that I still felt the weather from that day.