gforce said:
^Adding to that, my mom was an alcoholic and I do not want to follow that path. When she was sober I considered living with my aunt who I actually liked more than my mother, and my aunt had her fair share of drinks but never got drunk, not even just a little bit. I never got around to it, but I stayed at her house for 1 or 2 days every week, which really helped. She also smoked, which wasn't as bad as the drinking but was still pretty bad. It is hard to get those terrible childhood memories off my mind sometimes, but my 2 kids help me get those memories off my mind. I moved out of the house at 18. I thought my life was over at first but then now I have traveled to nearly 60 countries, ridden exactly 1,200 roller coasters live with the perfect family I could ask for.
This is why I have never taken a sip of alchohal or a single cigarette or cigar. It ruined my life at first and I did not want it to go on for the rest of my life.
To be fair, obviously the emotional issues are important to you, but it's probably a good thing you've never had a drink anyway. It seems that alcoholism is genetic, so there's a chance that you could have easily become alcoholic yourself - so good choice.
I think it's hard for somebody who doesn't get "the alcohol buzz" to understand it. I saw a program that delved into why people love alcohol, and why people become alcoholic.
In most people, alcohol triggers the release of feel good hormones in the brain. So you flood your system with euphoric creating chemicals. That's why people enjoy a drink. It's just enough to make you happy and to enjoy the experience, but not so much you can't see yourself living without it.
In a few people, this trigger doesn't happen. Their brains simply don't react that way to alcohol, so they just get all the negative physical problems of drinking with no enjoyment to over come the negatives.
In another few people, the chemical release is massive. It's so huge, that it's difficult for those people to deal with what their life offers them. It's this chemical in the brain which causes the addiction, the alcohol is the trigger. I can't remember the exact numbers, but I think it's about 20% of the population just get nothing, 60%-70% just enjoy alcohol and the rest have this "potential alcoholic" syndrome (not everyone with this problem will become an alcoholic, we do still have a degree of free will).
It's kind of like how some people hate rollercoasters, others enjoy them, but just ever so often and others will do anything for the next thrill and want to ride as much and as often as they can (if you enjoy coasters, the chemicals released are the same as those released due to alcohol intake).
It probably also explains why your auntie drank too, it's likely inherited (both the gene and behaviour). The difference is that some people can actually be fully functioning alcoholics. Our new neighbour is a nightmare drunk, he's loud, aggressive and threatening. He's lovely when sober, but a nightmare drunk. I'm not aggressive when I'm drunk (though I have absolutely no doubt I'm a pain in the arse when really wasted). When I'm still in that "drunk but not gone too far state", I don't think I'm unpleasant (Madame_Furie would make sure I know if I was by getting rid of me). I could probably live life a bit drunk without anyone really noticing, as long as I never had too much. Certainly enough to be classed as an alcoholic.
People are just different in how they are when they're drunk - some alcoholics can function completely, others it destroys them.
So yeah, I do feel for you gforce, it's a terrible thing to grow up with somebody so unstable. It's certainly good for you you've not had anything and totally understandable.