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If you owned the UK’s 4 Merlin theme parks, what would you do to each of them?

Oh, go on then - I may as well have a go!

Legoland:
I've said it before, But I do like the setting of legoland, and think it does a pretty good job of delivering a good park for lego fans, but think a few more thrilling attractions would fit in nicely.

Another good "older family" coaster - something along the lines of Pegase express or roar - o - saurus/wood express (perhaps replacing dragon?)

Another couple of flat rides - similar thrill level to spinning spider

A good lengthy "cheesy scenic ride" - along the lines of the piggy ride at Potts Park


Other improvements:
Improve the queueline on laser raiders - It kinda ruins things when you've been through the themed queue, only to have to go across a random train line!

remove the daft "no singles" rule on raft racers!

A training course for how to shoot on ninjago - I can never do it!


Thorpe park:
I don't get the full hate for thorpe, but there are some clear improvements that need making!

Firstly make the bridge to the dome wider, and spruce up the dome itself,

Then get some family stuff in
  1. Remove storm surge, add a good family flat
  2. Replace DBGT with a good dark ride!
  3. Replace flying fish with a gerstlauer junior
  4. Proper pirate ship in Mr monkey's place
Then back to thrills
  1. Awesome thrill coaster on the island behind swarm (Rmc/New gen vekoma/intamin blitz
    1. Footpath from new coaster to stealth area
  2. replace collossos with an airtime machine
Then a bit more family stuff
  1. Remove the beach and depth charge, replace with GCI
  2. Cheesy track ride in mrs fungles old spot
  3. Water coaster in logger's old place!

I'll do Alton and chessy later.

General improvements:
  1. Stop the silly 4pm closings at alton - I'd be ok with off peak day closures, if it meant say monday, thursday and friday opening 10-5 or 6, 6 hours in one of the largest parks is not enough!
  2. More nitrogenie!
  3. Decent, hearty food - Rotisserie chicken, big pots of chilli, Soups etc...
  4. That'll do for now!
 
I’ve thought of something else I would do at Alton Towers if I were in charge, and I apologise in advance, as I feel like it could be somewhat controversial:
  • If I was in charge, I would overhaul both Nemesis and Oblivion. The type of overhaul I’d go for in both cases is one that maintains the basic feel that the rides have now, while also bringing them into the 21st century a little, and enhancing them a bit. This would mean different things in each case.
  • In terms of what I’d do with Nemesis, I’d personally give it a complete like-for-like retrack, similar to what happened on the Hulk at Islands of Adventure, in order to ensure its long-term future at Alton Towers. However, I’d also go a step further, and I’d also reprofile sections of it. While I wouldn’t call Nemesis a rough coaster per se, it’s certainly not the smoothest of coasters, in my opinion, and there are some sections where I personally feel as though the ride is showing its age a little; particular sections that come to mind include the zero-g roll and the second corkscrew, possibly the first corkscrew at times too. I’d also make a few thematic enhancements as well; I’d add a few more little details around the queue and area to make the ride’s story a little clearer, and I’d also revamp the station interior so that it feels like you’re well and truly inside the monster; I’m thinking some nice ambient lighting, smell pods, mist effects and a similar aesthetic to the station exterior would really add to that feeling of being inside the monster. Furthermore, while I’d keep the area and queue soundtrack the same, I’d also add some audio to the ride itself in some form, either through a dramatic onboard soundtrack or maybe even just with some suspense music up the lift hill like on Mako at SeaWorld Orlando, for example.
  • In terms of Oblivion, my plan would be a little different. I wouldn’t actually change anything about the physical track of Oblivion; given the circumstances that Alton Towers finds itself in, I think that the existing track layout works great, personally, and still rides very smoothly given its age, too. My Oblivion overhaul is almost entirely aesthetical and thematic, apart from some changes to the ride vehicles which I’ll get onto in a bit. While I’d keep the general vibe and theme of Oblivion the same, as I think it works really well, I would majorly modernise it, and perhaps make it a little more themed and immersive as opposed to just styled like it is now. I do feel that due to the technological/modern theming style Oblivion had when it opened, it kind of feels a little dated these days, and I’d argue that it kind of lost its presence within X-Sector once The Smiler opened. In terms of what route I’d go down in terms of changing Oblivion’s style; ironically, I’d actually look towards Oblivion The Black Hole at Gardaland in terms of the type of style I’d like to change Oblivion to. Obviously I wouldn’t want it to be a complete clone of O:TBH, and I would keep some of the elements that make Oblivion unique (e.g. Don’t Look Down, the suspenseful buildup with the Lord of Darkness videos), but I’d go for a similar sort of vibe, with a similarly modern and sleek theme, a bit more of a story, lots more little details and theming around the area, and a similar dramatic soundtrack to what O:TBH has to replace the dance track that Oblivion has now. I’d also put some suspenseful audio on the lift hill; maybe something subtle like a heartbeat sound as you’re climbing up and turning around to the drop, to really home in on that fear element of it. The final changes I would make to Oblivion are related to the cars; I would personally go down a similar route to the likes of SheiKra and make them floorless, in order to make the rider feel a little more exposed without the front on the cars. This might be a little controversial, but I’d also introduce a new, separate experience to Oblivion; Oblivion backwards, with the slogan “Don’t Look Back”, as opposed to “Don’t Look Down” for the forwards ride experience. This would involve flipping the back row of the cars around to face backwards instead of forwards, and I personally think it would really be rather novel and fun for a dive coaster; even though you wouldn’t be able to see the drop, I reckon the element of surprise, and not knowing when you’re going to drop, would add its own kind of fear to the experience.
Do you like my ideas, or do you hope I never get my hands on Alton Towers, so that these ideas can never come to fruition? I appreciate some might be a little controversial, so I’d be really intrigued to know your thoughts!
 
I’ve thought of more things that I might do if I were in charge of the Merlin parks:
Alton Towers
  • I would think about giving Rita a bit of an overhaul as well as Nemesis and Oblivion. In terms of what I’d do; I’d personally give the ride a bit more of a theme and make it a bit more immersive, doing things such as adding some theming into the queue and giving the ride a properly ambient themed station, even a possible pre-launch scene with some effects, and an enclosed brake run in a similar style to Wicker Man. I’d also completely change the name and theme to move away from the race car theme entirely, as while Rita’s theme is a nice concept that I quite like and think is quite original, I’m not sure if it’s the most sympathetic to Dark Forest’s aesthetic in its current guise. Going along with this, I’d also repaint Rita to a more subdued tone that’s more in keeping with Dark Forest’s theme and change the trains, adding Taron-style lap bars or at very least softer OTSRs similar to Maverick’s and I305’s to the ride.
Thorpe Park
  • At Thorpe Park, I’d personally do something similar to Colossus to what I’d do with Nemesis at Alton Towers in that I’d give the ride a complete retrack, although in the case of Colossus, I’d also try and chuck in some slightly more accommodating ride vehicles in on the side, with some nice lap bars more akin to what the newer 10 inversion rides have. I would also alter the layout slightly to be more akin to the newer Rev. B models of the 10 inversion coaster, as I think that the first drop looks really cool on the newer model. I feel that this would preserve the longevity of Colossus as an icon of Thorpe Park, while also addressing the common elephants in the room that are the ride’s smoothness and its trains. This Colossus overhaul would mostly be track and train, as I actually can’t think of much I’d personally change about Colossus aesthetically; I’m a huge fan of the lavish theming and landscaping, and the general vibe of Lost City. If I was to do anything with Colossus thematically, I’d maybe add onboard sound onto the trains, and possibly some effects around the ride; I reckon some nice water splash effects might work, or maybe even some fire?
  • I might also possibly think about making some small tweaks to Saw: The Ride. While I think it has a great layout and fantastic theming, it’s currently too rough for my personal liking, so I would do something similar to what Dollywood did with Mystery Mine this off-season and retrack/reprofile some of the joltier sections of the ride; in particular, I’m thinking the first drop/Immelmann and the entirety of the post-MCBR section. I might also chuck in some new cars with lap bars while I’m at it, similar to what some of the newer Euro-Fighters such as Tantrum and Hydrus have; I think some of that fantastic airtime Saw has could feel even stronger with a nice lap bar restraint!
P.S. Sorry for double posting!
 
Matt N said:
I would think about giving Rita a bit of an overhaul as well as Nemesis and Oblivion. In terms of what I’d do; I’d personally give the ride a bit more of a theme and make it a bit more immersive, doing things such as adding some theming into the queue and giving the ride a properly ambient themed station, even a possible pre-launch scene with some effects, and an enclosed brake run in a similar style to Wicker Man. I’d also completely change the name and theme to move away from the race car theme entirely, as while Rita’s theme is a nice concept that I quite like and think is quite original, I’m not sure if it’s the most sympathetic to Dark Forest’s aesthetic in its current guise. Going along with this, I’d also repaint Rita to a more subdued tone that’s more in keeping with Dark Forest’s theme and change the trains, adding Taron-style lap bars or at very least softer OTSRs similar to Maverick’s and I305’s to the ride.
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I don't have much of an opinion of most of Alton Towers, but Rita in particular seems to me like a coaster whose time is overdue. It was built at the tail end of the period when everything a launch coaster was thought to need was a launch and a way to bleed speed before the end brakes. Nowadays, a launch is just a means of propulsion, and all Rita has to offer is a mediocre layout following an archaic launch system. At 16 years of age, it may not be due for retirement just yet, but I think it's clearly outdated from a technical standpoint. If I were in charge of Alton, I'd list it for sale and look into replacements rather than trying to spruce it up.
 
^I agree. As much as I do genuinely like Rita (unpopular opinion I know), I wouldn't lose sleep over it going within the next few years (providing there is a suitable replacement that isn't something ****e). It's absolutely not worth a big expensive refurb. I'm sure I heard somewhere that Rita represents a whopping 40% of Alton's total maintenance costs, although don't count me on that.

As for Stealth, I say do absolutely nothing with it, it's fine the way it is. I'd like to see that stay around for at least another 10 years, the Blitz can go to Towers. In fact, Stealth is currently my favourite Intamin, I actually love it.

Fun Fact:- You can fit the whole of Klugheim into the Galactica car park, so if Towers really wanted to get a Taron clone they could.
 
I know it might seem like a bizarre choice, but the reason I didn’t simply rip out Rita like a lot of people would is because after my ride in September, I’ll admit I've really started liking the ride again, and as much as it’s not the most modern or groundbreaking coaster, I personally think there’s no raw thrill out there quite like a hydraulic launch, and they are growing less common. They also offer a certain sense of drama and spectator appeal that LSM launches, bar a few exceptions, generally lack. Rita is also a pretty unique Accelerator Coaster in that it doesn’t have a top hat, instead focusing on low-to-the-ground transitions and airtime hills.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love for Alton to build a modern multi-launch coaster. My plan includes one being built in either Forbidden Valley or Katanga Canyon. But my point is; with some refurbishment, couldn’t Rita coexist happily alongside a multi-launch coaster, as opposed to just having to get the chop in favour of one? I feel as though the ride would still offer a very unique experience that you simply can’t get on a multi-launch coaster, even though I personally much prefer the type of experience that a multi-launch coaster offers.

@CrashCoaster Stealth is my favourite Intamin too; I’ve always enjoyed it, but a front row ride last summer really made me realise how much it thrills me, and my experience of it last summer shot it right into the top 5 for me!
 
Matt N said:
But my point is; with some refurbishment, couldn’t Rita coexist happily alongside a multi-launch coaster, as opposed to just having to get the chop in favour of one? I feel as though the ride would still offer a very unique experience that you simply can’t get on a multi-launch coaster, even though I personally much prefer the type of experience that a multi-launch coaster offers.
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No, because it would be made redundant and a pointless waste of maintenance money. It's the same reason why Kanonen was taken out of Liseberg after they installed Helix. If Towers built a Blitz with a decent USP, I can say with almost 100% certainty Rita would not be staying for long.
 
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CrashCoaster said:
No, because it would be made redundant and a pointless waste of maintenance money. It's the same reason why Kanonen was taken out of Liseberg after they installed Helix. If Towers built a Blitz with a decent USP, I can say with almost 100% certainty Rita would not be staying for long.
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I get what you mean in a sense, but other parks have multiple launch coasters operating together, do they not?

Each to their own, I guess, but I’d personally consider a hydraulic launch enough of a USP on its own to differentiate Rita from a newer multi-launch coaster. As much as it’s not as intense or large as Stealth, I still think it’s a huge rush worth keeping, and it still seems popular among Alton Towers’ general clientele to me.
 
Matt N said:
I get what you mean in a sense, but other parks have multiple launch coasters operating together, do they not?

Each to their own, I guess, but I’d personally consider a hydraulic launch enough of a USP on its own to differentiate Rita from a newer multi-launch coaster. As much as it’s not as intense or large as Stealth, I still think it’s a huge rush worth keeping, and it still seems popular among Alton Towers’ general clientele to me.
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Yes, but they are all vastly different from each other and are great at what they are intended to do. Cedar Point has 3 launch coasters, but they are all completely different in ride experience and are all well excepted and enjoyed, as they aren't too similar. PortAventura World has two vastly different launch coasters with totally different ride experiences (even though they are both by the same manufacturer and are in different parks). The Busch Gardens parks have some similar-ish launch coasters, but they all use LSMs so aren't too maintenance demanding.
 
CrashCoaster said:
Yes, but they are all vastly different from each other and are great at what they are intended to do. Cedar Point has 3 launch coasters, but they are all completely different in ride experience and are all well excepted and enjoyed, as they aren't too similar. PortAventura World has two vastly different launch coasters with totally different ride experiences (even though they are both by the same manufacturer and are in different parks). The Busch Gardens parks have some similar-ish launch coasters, but they all use LSMs so aren't too maintenance demanding.
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I guess justifying keeping Rita would be easier if it were more akin to the likes of Stealth; if it were a big, tall ride like Stealth, then the raw height and speed on their own would likely differentiate it from an LSM launch coaster. Cedar Point has TTD and Maverick coexist in a similar manner, and they’re both really well enjoyed. Thorpe could probably justify keeping Stealth if they ever built a multi-launcher on these grounds.

I was about to say that by your metric, Red Force arguably rendered Baco a bit redundant, but I guess the winged seating and low-to-the-ground layout differentiate it enough from Red Force to make it viable. I wouldn’t exactly call Baco a well-liked ride on the whole (at least among enthusiasts; even though it certainly has its fans, many seem to like it even less than Rita), but I guess the uniqueness of the winged seating position does justify it compared to Red Force.

The problem with Rita, and I think Kanonen possibly suffered from this too, is that in terms of stats and general layout style, they don’t really have enough to make themselves stand out on their own in the event of their parks getting multi-launch coasters. Both coasters fall into the same sort of speed bracket as your average multi-launcher (possibly even lower in the case of Kanonen), and I’d argue that they were almost to a degree the precursors to some modern day LSM launch coaster layouts. I know this might seem like a bold comparison, but Rita is almost more like the 2000s’ answer to Taron than a typical Accelerator Coaster (in terms of the twister layout), and Kanonen, with its inversions, top hat, and quick transitions, could arguably be compared to a ride like iSpeed (albeit on a vastly smaller scale).

Are we more on the same page now?
 
Matt N said:
I guess justifying keeping Rita would be easier if it were more akin to the likes of Stealth; if it were a big, tall ride like Stealth, then the raw height and speed on their own would likely differentiate it from an LSM launch coaster. Cedar Point has TTD and Maverick coexist in a similar manner, and they’re both really well enjoyed. Thorpe could probably justify keeping Stealth if they ever built a multi-launcher on these grounds.

I was about to say that by your metric, Red Force arguably rendered Baco a bit redundant, but I guess the winged seating and low-to-the-ground layout differentiate it enough from Red Force to make it viable. I wouldn’t exactly call Baco a well-liked ride on the whole (at least among enthusiasts; even though it certainly has its fans, many seem to like it even less than Rita), but I guess the uniqueness of the winged seating position does justify it compared to Red Force.

The problem with Rita, and I think Kanonen possibly suffered from this too, is that in terms of stats and general layout style, they don’t really have enough to make themselves stand out on their own in the event of their parks getting multi-launch coasters. Both coasters fall into the same sort of speed bracket as your average multi-launcher (possibly even lower in the case of Kanonen), and I’d argue that they were almost to a degree the precursors to some modern day LSM launch coaster layouts. I know this might seem like a bold comparison, but Rita is almost more like the 2000s’ answer to Taron than a typical Accelerator Coaster (in terms of the twister layout), and Kanonen, with its inversions, top hat, and quick transitions, could arguably be compared to a ride like iSpeed (albeit on a vastly smaller scale).

Are we more on the same page now?
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What you have said here is quite literally the point I am trying to make which is why I think Rita's years are numbered, because it doesn't "stand out".

Also Furius Baco is very different from Red Force imo. Baco has a pre-show, is low to the ground, has a hydraulic launch, an inversion, winged seating and an awesome setting in PA's Mediterranean area. The only things they have in common are that they are both Intamins and are both fast as ****. Another unpopular opinion I have - Baco is better than RF depending on what mood I'm in. They're quite interchangeable for me in terms of how much I like them.
 
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I've only been to 3 of them and that was in 2017, So I'll be brief

Alton Towers
- Intamin Hyper using the layout of the planned Cross Valley Wooden Coaster

Chessington
- No idea, Vekoma Junior Boomerang or Motorbike Coaster in Pirates Cove?

Thorpe
- New style Intamin Trains on Colossus and Stealth
- Zamperla Giant Discovery?
- Overhaul of Bathrooms in Thorpe Shark Hotel
 
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