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[Jan 2026] Rob Florida - Day 4: Geometry Dash

Rob Coasters

Rob Poster
I remember planning this the year before, but I pushed it back because I thought to myself, "nah I'm not ready for this", but this time I absolutely was, and I was itching to finally get out there. Some overseas friends from America were so excited to see my reactions to the rides that one of them was willing to fly out from Indiana just to be there for my first ride on Spider-Man, but some last-second changes in plans ultimately made that impossible.
Around three weeks before our visit, our flight to Orlando was suddenly cancelled due to a shortage in some technical thing that escapes my brain. This required us to rebook onto a different flight, and while we were refunded in full, we had to do the second cheapest option (which required forking over an extra £300) and either
-a six hour layover at JFK (New York, USA)
or
-a two hour layover at KEF (Reykjavik, Iceland)
The decision was made to layover in Iceland, which ended up being the right call, because despite the short time, it was still plenty because both of our flights departed on time and were with the same airline (Icelandair) so we would have been compensated had any complications arised. For my first ever layover, it went fantastically, and it was at possibly the best airport in the world for layovers as well. So good for layovers in fact, that Icelandair jokingly reminds people "hey, we do tourism here as well!"

Anyway, we landed and I got a mini heart attack and almost went insane as my phone wasn't connecting to any sort of internet AGAIN, even with my eSIM, but thankfully all it required was a phone restart. Border control went swimmingly, and we got an Uber in a Ford F150 to our hotel for the night.

Our cancelled flight there was the only reasonably priced flight to Orlando that day, so our new flight was a day earlier which allowed us to have an extra day in the USA. We allocated this day to some random sightseeing, and also meant that every park day was a full one from open to close.

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Day 1 started us at Universal Studios North Campus, which we had a park-hopper ticket for, and OBVIOUSLY our first ride was going to be #502 Jurassic World Velocicoaster. What are you doing if your first ride in Orlando isn't an early morning lap of Velocicoaster? Come on. Our first ride was in the back, row 12, and my goodness was this a simply wonderful experience. The first half is filled with Taron-esque twists and turns, as you race under, around and through the enclosure of dinosaurs and trees and rocks on your magical coaster vehicle sightseeing thingy. The second half introduces you with a launch up to the highest point of the ride and an absolutely wicked drop off the top of it, leading you to then speed upside down over pathways before encircling the bridge and ending with a fast-paced roll over the water and into the brakes. "You did it!"
Most people refer to Velocicoaster like it's the be-all and end-all of roller coasters, the greatest thing ever conceived, but after one lap it doesn't even make the top ten. This thing had a STRONG rattle to it to the point where I already came off with a bit of a headache, and honestly the roll over the water fell a little flat as the finale. Dubbed the "mosasaurus roll", it was hailed as the world's greatest inversion, but I definitely didn't feel that way. I honestly came off thinking "I wish that whole ride did a little... more for me", but it was early morning so it was bound to never break my top 3, I have those "I'll get back to it later" thoughts. I'll get another ride that doesn't try to rattle my brains out, but it has strong foundations to be a truly incredible roller coaster and currently stands as around an 8/10.
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Islands of Adventure opened an hour earlier than Studios, so it was wise to rope-drop two parks in the same day. We did this the long and fancy way via Hogwarts Express, which we used to hop over. It's a really cool way to switch parks, and takes excellent advantage of the fact that they both have a Harry Potter area. The ride system is basically a funicular, and shows some cool little scenes during your journey.
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For some reason Universal Studios Florida invoked by far the biggest "oh my goodness I'm finally here!" reaction out of any park in this week. Perhaps this was where everything suddenly "hit" as my mouth was suddenly agape.
We didn't quite manage to make it for rope-drop due to us taking the scenic route so the target had already built up a substantial queue, but that can be the mission for our second visit here later on. Instead we headed towards Men in Black Alien Attack, a very different take on the classic shooting dark ride genre. I honestly wasn't a fan of the fact that it didn't have any targets on where exactly to shoot - I was just shooting randomly and gaining points for no apparent reasons. We pushed a red button when the dude demanded us to do so and for some reason that must've been wrong because we spun out 6-7 times.
I understand that it tries something new, but I do think I prefer just knowing what I'm supposed to be looking for by quite a significant margin.
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From here on out we start meeting a lot of my Orlando local friends, who started giving us cool and interesting facts and history about the park. In the queue for Simpsons Ride we saw where the Halloween Horror Nights houses are kept, and how the park really does feel like their old roller coaster Rip Ride Rockit never existed.
Simpsons Ride was really cool, one of the park's multiple simulator rides, and honestly one that I really enjoyed, but it was the start of a growing trend of rides in this park that seriously feel one-and-done. The majority of attractions in Universal Studios Florida feel like things I only needed to do once ever. Something that I would really, really enjoy on my first go, and have zero desire to ever do again because all of the cool tricks and jokes would be completely lost on me by round two. They're a pack of excellent rides that you'd never want to do again.
Photo by Ben S
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ET Adventure was very nice, it felt like the American equivalent of Eteling's Droomvlucht and a tasteful love letter to the original films with a great queue under the indoor trees. My main takeaway from this ride was that if you queued an hour for this thing and were made to sit in the rightmost half of the ride vehicle, you would miss out on damn near everything, as for some reason almost every scene is designed to be seen from the left.
Photo by Ethan S
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However, I'm joining the club in saying that Villain Con Minion Blast is AWFUL. This ride mainly serves as a tech demo for a shooting dark ride where you stand on a moving conveyor belt, and it's mind-numbingly boring as you shoot some screens with an unresponsive delayed gun and you have no idea what you're even doing as you get bored and want off by the halfway point. It's a real flop of a ride, and the ten minutes we queued for this still managed to feel like a complete waste of time.
Photo by Dominic B
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Meanwhile, Bourne Stuntacular managed to be my favourite attraction in the park and my new favourite theme park show (although the competition isn't... much). Clearly they were having issues with finding enough people to warrant keeping this thing around as they were practically begging people on the midway to come into the show, but we filled almost the entire venue this time around which was neat. The general idea is that Jason Bourne is this John Wick wannabe who likes shooting guns and pushing baddies off rooftops.
Bourne Stuntacular's signature move is that it absolutely seamlessly combines physical props with screens, an illusion that caught me off guard on multiple occasions and was seriously impressive - sometimes Mr. Bourne pushed a physical guy off a building and I saw him fall to the ground with my very eyes until he suddenly disappeared and he was actually on the screen the whole time. I loved it a lot, truly a stuntacular show.
Photo by Ben S
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Finally it was time for another highlight, #503 Revenge of the Mummy. Hosting an extended queue featuring multiple black tents of hell that multiply the voices of everyone surrounding you by four times, this was an incredible dark ride that immediately became one of my favourite indoor roller coasters. Being full to the brim of Things To Look At is shockingly difficult to come across nowadays when riding indoor coasters, and Mummy has something to see every step of the way, which was so refreshing to finally come across. Coupled with an absolutely insane fire effect that had my jaw on the floor, a punchy coaster section and a brilliant finale to end everything out, it's not hard to see why this was the favourite attraction ever of one of the Orlando friends that I was with. I've found a ride in this park that's worth doing more than once! Although you could argue Men in Black has those qualities too.
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Next was arguably the single worst attraction on Universal property, Fast and Furious Supercharged, whose demise we will see later next year. And I'm happy I got to ride this, because this is one of the funniest theme park attractions I have ever ridden. With sarcastic pre-show actors who absolutely know how awful this ride is and make it very known, the actual ride section leaves you in uncontrollable hysterics at the absurdity and utter stupidity of everything that happens around you. Boarding the Fortnite Battle Bus, you get squirted with water for no apparent reason, see a man the size of a helicopter, and overall witness chaos and destruction while having no idea what you're doing or why you're here. In terms of being a serious theme park attraction, this is one of the worst rides ever created. In terms of being a hilarious joke of a ride, it nails that aspect. I won't be sad to see it go, but I will be sad that I might not be able to take a first-timer on this to see their reaction.
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Some exploration of the park occurred next with some wandering down the streets of Diagon Alley, visiting the Gong of Resounding Resemblance, trying to ride Transformers until it broke down and died before we even entered the indoor section of the queue, and having the time of our lives in the SpongeBob Store before finding ourselves in the Horror Make-Up Show which is due to close for refurbishment imminently. This was a really cool look into how physical special effects are created with a side of excellent humour in it as well and six-seven related shenanigans which is always welcome too. The ending was hilarious as well, and left me with a fantastic first impression on a show that otherwise didn't sound that interesting on paper. It's really good.
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With that, we headed back to Islands where the sun started to set. Incredible Hulk was skipped for now, but instead we rode Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man which immediately cemented itself as my favourite execution of screens in a dark ride. I absolutely adored how much you were "involved" here. The enemies on the screens zap you and your ride vehicle (scoop) vibrates with it. They see YOU as an actual threat just as much as they see Spider-Man as a threat. You're not just a bystander to it all, you ARE the story and I thought it was all so amazing. Featuring the single most impressive fire effect that I've seen in my travels for entertainment, and the absolutely wild finale where everything just turns up to eleven and you start going up all these buildings, damn is this thing sweet and leaves me so impressed every single time. I fully understand my Indiana friend who wanted to fly over just to be there when I rode this for the first time, this thing is over thirty years old and is somehow still a prime example of how to do screens almost perfectly.
My only complaint is that I would've liked to have been splashed a little more when the water guy appeared against us, but other than that, this is so close to perfect.
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Some aimless wandering led us to Camp Jurassic, a really cool walkthrough cave which was beautifully lit up at night.
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And we had to leave our Velocicoaster night rides for later as queues for that were breaching the 150 minute mark, so instead we walked onto Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey for a night ride which had a zero-minute wait in the single rider queue, and this was already a contender for the biggest disappointment of the week. To be fair, my standards for this weren't the highest in the first place as this is older technology that has not aged well at all, but man it shows. You could certainly tell that this was insane for its time back when it opened in somewhere around 2010, but it's fallen behind very quickly. The ride system basically being a four-seater compartment attached to multiple robot arms that rotate in their own wacky ways to simulate flight, but it falls short in several ways. Sometimes it throws you in front of a projected screen where you briefly fly on a broomstick, but this is especially lost on you with the lack of any wind effects so you're just sort of watching TV while swaying around a bit.
The rest of it involves some interesting props but a lot of dead space in between them, and generally the whole ride feels a bit like it doesn't really know what to do. It's trying to be its awesomely impressive thing, but it's 16 years old technology that was absolutely revolutionarily insane for its time, but has unfortunately not aged that way.
An Orlando friend in the ride vehicle behind me noted me looking around confused, presumably trying to get a better view of the ride system, while going through an empty dark corridor waiting for something to happen.
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Our final ride of the day was a pitch-black night ride on #504 Hagrid's Magical Creatures Motorbike Adventure which we were highly recommended to hit at the end of the day, because the Express Pass has obliterated the standby capacity of this poor thing, and this was substantially noticed once Express had emptied out when we started moving through the line at triple the speed that we were.
Onto the ride, this is one of the most mechanically complex roller coasters in the world. Featuring onboard audio, animatronics, seven launches, a rolling switch-track, a backwards section and a drop track, it's no wonder that this was the world's most expensive roller coaster when it opened, beating out a mine train built into a 199.5ft recreation of Mt. Everest. Force-wise this isn't the most impressive ride in the world, and it ends very abruptly - two turns after the ride reaches its top speed on the final launch - but in terms of a joyous family coaster that tells a great story, it's a winner. With Harry Potter rides you probably don't want too much intensity anyway, as Forbidden Journey seems to be by far the most nauseating ride on Universal property, so they knew what they were going for here and won. Unfortunately with its extreme popularity and Express Pass priority, unless you're willing to queue-close it or wait three hours, this is notoriously difficult to ride, so that singular go must be cherished.
Photo by Ben S
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That wraps up our first park day of Florida and a fantastic first impression.

Tomorrow - Mission Space and Rise of the Resistance
 
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I always love reading a first-time Florida visit report! Particularly when it starts with the Universal resort, containing probably my two favourite parks in the state!

Similarly to you, I wasn’t initially obscenely wowed by VelociCoaster (although I never personally remember it being anything other than very smooth)… but the second ride put it into far more perspective for me and made me view it in a far more positive light (let’s just say it’s now my #1!). I think hype didn’t help my initial feeling, but it also helped that my second ride was in the front, which was particularly obscene! And I didn’t even ride it at night on either occasion (both of my rides were before 12pm)! I hope for your sake that it did the same for you, and based on it entering your top 10 (if I remember correctly from your post in that thread?), it sounds like it quite possibly did!

Villain-Con Minion Blast opened just after my last visit to Florida, and I was disappointed to have missed it at the time… but it sounds as though I didn’t miss much!

On a side note, I’ve never heard the USF/IOA section of Universal Orlando being referred to as “North Campus” before…
 
I always love reading a first-time Florida visit report! Particularly when it starts with the Universal resort, containing probably my two favourite parks in the state!

Similarly to you, I wasn’t initially obscenely wowed by VelociCoaster (although I never personally remember it being anything other than very smooth)… but the second ride put it into far more perspective for me and made me view it in a far more positive light (let’s just say it’s now my #1!). I think hype didn’t help my initial feeling, but it also helped that my second ride was in the front, which was particularly obscene! And I didn’t even ride it at night on either occasion (both of my rides were before 12pm)! I hope for your sake that it did the same for you, and based on it entering your top 10 (if I remember correctly from your post in that thread?), it sounds like it quite possibly did!

Villain-Con Minion Blast opened just after my last visit to Florida, and I was disappointed to have missed it at the time… but it sounds as though I didn’t miss much!

On a side note, I’ve never heard the USF/IOA section of Universal Orlando being referred to as “North Campus” before…
Yeah, my tendency to update my top 10 before my TRs release show that I did ride Velocicoaster again and my thoughts on it improved significantly.... that's not until Day 6 though.

Villain Con is without a doubt one of the worst and most boring theme park attractions I have ridden. It is a complete embarrassment and it barely functions. I would say "don't be sad you missed it", but you do have a great way with words and interesting opinions, so I'd have been quite intrigued in seeing what you'd have to say about it.

I believe North Campus is used primarily by Universal Orlando Team Members. I have a few people working at Universal in some public chat servers I'm in, and that has kind of become the norm there amongst everyone there when referring to those two parks.
 
Our day at Epcot started with the rope-drop for #505 Cosmic Rewind where we saw the Disney family vacation 2026 :D shirts out in full force. A group of adults are drinking around the world today! The Trimnllyd family is on a grand Disney holiday with their personalised hoodies! It's Daniellson's 9th birthday today! To your right is the world's biggest Superman fan! To your left is two adults with matching t-shirts with oddly sexual implications! And in the middle of it all is two coaster-obsessed lunatics unintentionally both wearing Thorpe Park shirts. How magical.
Cosmic Rewind, based on Guardians of the Galaxy, is Epcot's sole roller coaster, and what I believe is the new world's most expensive roller coaster after Hagrid's the day before. Two very impressive preshows are involved before boarding here, one of which is a "teleportation" which genuinely left my jaw open wide. I was not spoiler free for anything else, and I knew to board row nine where we were sent to "row request jail" until we could get our desired seat. Why would row nine out of ten be the most hotly desired seat? Well, it's because during the backwards launch, you have nothing else in front of you, and that makes for an absolutely wonderful beginning to the ride as Conga started playing through the speakers.
Conga is by far the most frequent song out of the six that are available due to it being the first song in the playlist, so when a train faults for any reason, it is reset to the top of the playlist when it is fixed. Conga is also a perfect fit for the ride's nature, which we'll get to now.
The ride consists of some very steady and controlled spinning on what I strongly suspect is the world's longest indoor roller coaster, and it constantly keeps things interesting entirely throughout. With multiple launches to remain fresh and engaging, and awesome set pieces & screens to keep the eyes busy, this is a real winner that Epcot is onto, and it definitely feels like extremely expensive ride hardware. I understand where every single dollar of the $300 million+ went.
The only thing I didn't like was the whole Marvel writing and the corny dialogue that happens during the onboard audio, that I could've done without.
Anyway, Cosmic Rewind is a strong contender for my favourite family coaster in the world. It simply gets everything right. Now if only I could ride it more than once a day, just like with Hagrid's.
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After meeting with some more Orlando friends and another friend who was passing through Orlando on his way to Saudi Arabia to ride Falcons Flight (which he did!), up next was Spaceship Earth. I, Avec Abandon (2:55), II, Angoscioso (4:27), III, Maestoso (3:16). Wait, wrong spaceship earth, I lost myself for a minute there.
Anyway, welcome aboard Spaceship Earth, it's good to meet you. This is the ride inside of the iconic geodesic sphere that defines Epcot, an eight-minute voyage through the vision of what someone from the 80's thought the future would look like, and a throwback to the past as well, it really shows the progress that was made on this pale blue dot. During the ride, you interact with a little screen that customises a world for you. Wind-powered trains? Hell yeah, everyone commutes to work by rocket, sounds good to me, everyone lives on a house on a floating piece of ground above the clouds.
The second half of the ride basically combines all of the choices that you made and personalises a little world where all of that is true. It's a very "woo, the future is bright!" ride, which is basically the definition of Epcot - it's a theme park about hope for the future and a celebration of world history, but I can't help but feel that this was made during a time where things felt a little more... optimistic, to say the least.
Anyway, the ride didn't really achieve that much for me. I didn't really "get" it, it was a nice way to relax for eight minutes and the design that went into fitting a ride that long into that sphere was extremely impressive, but I left very whelmed by the whole experience - I was very unconvinced and at some points was just waiting for something to happen. It's neat and pleasant, and I absolutely understand its appeal, but it's showing its age. I wanted to shoehorn another Shikari reference in here to round things off, but it's OK.
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Up next was Mission Space - Orange. This simulator ride has a green side that is apparently mind-meltingly boring, and an orange side that spends every second of its existence practically begging you "DO NOT GO ON THIS ATTRACTION IF THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH YOU". Headache, forget it. Odd sock, forget it. Can't picture a green apple in your head, god damn forget it. Actually, nah. Don't ride this even if you're in perfect health. Leave this queue now. This ride WILL kill you. Dead. Gone. Deceased into history books. You will experience 12G's and your head will explode into indistinguishable pieces and you will only be identifiable by some rogue DNA strands (if you're lucky).
The ride system is incredibly cool. It's basically a gravitron-type centrifuge ride thing where a rocket launch is simulated, and the forces provided by the spinning perfectly match the motions of what's happening on the screen. You get to press buttons (such as activating the mega-thrusters) and while that stuff would've happened no matter what due to the way the ride works, the illusion that I'm actively doing things and contributing makes my little brain so happy.
I do think that the "YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE, FOLLOW US TO THE NEAREST EXIT PLEASE" attitude that this ride's queue brings about was a little overblown, but yes, this was pretty intense for a Disney ride and the absolute epitome of "this will never be done on Disney property ever again". It's worth doing, definitely, and if I was into getting intoxicated, I'd be running to check this one out while under the influence as I reckon that would've felt a lot more realistic.
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Later we found ourselves at a place with seven international drink dispensers. I distinctly remember one tasting of BBQ sauce.
An attempt to ride Test Track was made, but Florida weather decided to make itself known, and being the only outdoor ride in the park, its weather sensitivity caused the thing to close. With our limited time, it was very "oh no", we prayed to the heavens that this would reopen before we had to leave for Hollywood Studios later in the day. Let me tell you, it wasn't looking good.

Up next was Journey Into Your Imagination with Figment, notoriously one of the worst attractions on any Disney property. It's about this purple dragon thing created exclusively with this ride who partners up with Eric Idle, and Figment tries his absolute damn hardest to be the most annoying thing you know by a country mile, to the point where I was genuinely actively rooting for his demise by the halfway point. At some point the animated little f**ker who isn't really there says "imagination is a blast!", nukes the ride vehicle, assassinates everyone on board and that still isn't enough to wake up my snoozing friend who fell asleep earlier in the ride. Anyway, yeah this was pretty terrible but I guess it was worth doing just to see that this was a real Disney attraction that was greenlit and has operated for as long as it has.
Photo by Talor B
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By this point, me and my travel friend Adam were growing pretty tired of the park and almost wanted to cut our losses and leave, missing out on Test Track entirely. We weren't fond of the park at all and the weather definitely wasn't helping, which was the only time we'd gotten rain for the entire week.
We elected to take a tour of the park though, walking around the lake and briefly looking at different parts of World Showcase.
We came across the Mexico(?) pavilion and Gran Fiesta Tour, which we nicknamed "Grandma Fiesta" for the week. This is a Donald Duck boat ride, you have to help him and two of his friends get to a party.
So one of my biggest pet peeves with dark rides is when the ceiling is completely unthemed. An Orlando local friend, Roc, noted that I would love the ending of this ride, and they were absolutely correct, because I did - the fireworks! On the ceiling! A dark ride that actually cared about whether you'd look up! Woah! Impressive!
What happened during the rest of the ride?
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The funniest part of our World Showcase tour is that the whole point of it is that you can explore different "countries" of the world and experience all of their cultures and whatever. The only pavilion that we actively wanted to explore all of was ironically enough the UK Pavilion, which was our own damn country, perhaps to see how accurate they'd portrayed it (I think our consensus was "yeah, pretty well").
Here's Norway, I think.
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Ironically, the UK pavilion marked the end of our World Showcase tour and right there was our cable car to Hollywood Studios, but by pure magical chance, the weather had cleared and Test Track had opened, and man this was an AWESOME ride that evoked such pure joy and whimsy in me. It had reopened from a recent major refurbishment too, with reviews saying that it was the best it had been in years. The crash course that you're sent to is wonderfully fun, and the speed section at the end was so good as well (although you do kind of notice that it was designed to go a lot faster, but literally whatever, I'm very busy having a massive grin on my face right now).
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Weather clear and Test Track ridden, my view on Epcot had suddenly increased, although we were told that this was a park that you wouldn't want to rush and that our concerns with the place were understood as we kind of had to run through all of it due to time constraints. Epcot is a park that you need to take as slowly as possible, apparently, and I see why.
The cable car was ridden. Welcome! To Disney's Hollywood Studios.
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Rise of the Resistance was closed, one of the most anticipated dark rides of the entire week, but it was closed, apparently it didn't open at all the day before, which wasn't good at all. I wasn't about to miss out on freaking Rise of the Resistance, claimed to be literally the greatest dark ride in the entire world.
So we entered the queue for Mickey & Minnie's Runaway Railway, but my obsessively checking the queue times had paid off, as Rise had suddenly reopened with a 40 minute wait, so the decision was made to immediately leave the queue line and finally get a new favourite dark ride.
We get to the end of the queue line.
Both pre-shows are broken. Immediate sympathy from Orlando friends, with them saying that they would be incredibly upset and that they'd metaphorically blow up the park. One saying that the preshows were better than the actual ride itself, that the preshows were absolutely unmissable, and that me and Adam really got shafted here.
We're led through an unthemed empty back-area of grey rectangular sadness as the transport preshow is dead and gone. It was killed unconscious by Mission Space, probably.
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Star Wars - Rise of the Resistance.
Ohhhhhhhh dear.
What a mess.
I kind of understand why it was closed yesterday, this thing felt like it was running at 50% of its capability, with my Orlando friends apologising for the state that the ride was in, and that if I gave this thing trash, they'd be there to back me up. There's a B-mode for when a ride has an alternate route for when the main route is broken, and there's an L-mode for when damn near everything doesn't work. And Rise of the Resistance is the type of ride to really fall apart even when small things (such as Kylo Ren...) are broken and gone. You kind of need everything to be working here. And when you have things such as broken preshows, broken "main" animatronics that you have big conflicts with, and glitched looping voice lines, you have a recipe for a disaster of a dark ride that lives up to about 15% of what people said it was.
It's January 18th and I have my disappointment of the year.
Maybe it was feeling inspired by my Derren Brown's Ghost Train shirt.
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We walked around Star Wars Galaxy's Edge for a bit. Supposedly the most expensive theme park land ever. Okay, it's just some props. Nothing moves, there's no music, there's no atmosphere, I'm not feeling anything here. I don't... get it. I guess I'm more of a sucker for moving props than I ever thought I was, I guess this is why I was pretty "over" the Phantasialand areas by the time my second visit came around.

We're onto a ride that's not a massive letdown now! Back in the queue for Mickey & Minnie's Runaway Railway, we found our first working preshow of Hollywood Studios. And what a wonderful preshow it is, with a catchy tune (that nobody sang along to), which leads me onto another tangent here - I half-expected there to be people in the preshows who would repeat the preshows word-for-word, but I literally did not come across one!
The way that the preshow ends is by a hole being exploded into the wall, which I legitimately was gobsmacked with how it worked, it was an effect that impressed me more than anything on Rise!
We then entered the station where we joked about how it would send anyone working there insane, as it is literally a three second loop which we found hilarious and kind of silly at the same time.
This was the most blind I have gone into a dark ride in a very long time, I literally did not know a single thing about this ride other than "uhhh, projected faces somewhere", so I had in my head that this was just some normal tracked train ride.
The reveal to it actually being trackless when the train split apart, was the most taken aback I had been by a theme park ride in at least six hours when we got cosmically rewinded. I sound like I jest, but that reveal to the ride system being trackless was something I will never forget. It's perfect execution, and the entire rest of the ride consists of absolute joyful moments that had me always with the most genuine smile on my face. There was a moment where we went into this red desert room thing, backed into a corner, did some shenanigans and suddenly the entire room turned blue, and I was so happy during this.
The entire ride is peak Disney. It's the most Disney ride ever. Filled with happiness and glee, Runaway Railway is by far and away my favourite ride here and it's not even close.
The only thing is, I wish that the projected faces were used a little more, and the reliance of screens over physical props did get a bit much sometimes plus the aforementioned abandoning of ceiling props that I forever despise, but other than that, if I had a top 10 dark rides list, this would be there.
We exited through the torn wall that we entered through, perfectly rounding off a wonderful attraction.
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Next up was a moody sunset ride on Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, one that I was already pretty used to having ridden the one in Paris, but this one was a significant cut above the other due to one simple thing: the tracked section where you travel through all of those projections that have aged incredibly well. The spooky factor of this ride was fantastically done, and the drop section was EXCELLENT. It lasted absolutely forever, and many of us complimented how long and entertaining the cycle was. Tower of Terror, while it is still a bit of a short ride, is forever a must-do at Disney and I'd be devastated if one of them ever permanently closed.
Now here's yet another tangent. I was successfuly gaslit for years into thinking that the ride cycles on Tower of Terror were randomised, and that there was "the short cycle", "the medium cycle" and "the long cycle" and by chance we got the long cycle. After a conversation about this, I realised that every cycle is mostly the same, and that I was believing complete nonsense this entire time.
A second working preshow too, by the way. Better than Rise of the Resistance.
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The streak of working preshows at Hollywood Studios had to be cut short though, as we encountered our third dead preshow on #506 Rock n Roller Coaster as the ride prepared to phase out Aerosmith in favour of the good ol' Muppets.
It's, uhh, a good ride, definitely reeks of "Walt Disney Studios" here but whatever, it still managed to have good vibes nonetheless.
The ride, it's something I've done twice before, but it's the best variant so far. I now realise how much of a significant downgrade Flight Force was, and Xpress is just this but outdoors. The launch is still good and I love the reactions across the entire train as people realise too late that the ride has loop-de-loops and crash out in the process. Aerosmith is an... interesting band to secure a 20-year contract with Disney. Well, they're going now, and I'm glad that I caught it before it went into refurbishment. Still better than Rise of the Resistance.
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It was getting cold, so the park was beginning to empty out, so we somehow queued less than forty minutes for #507 Slinky Dog Dash, a family launch coaster that somehow still manages to be substantially better than Star Trek Operation Enterprise. I'm not joking - this is a genuinely really fun ride, and I'm being so honest that I sometimes miss this ride as well. It's essentially a Wacky Worm if it was a multi-launch coaster, and Roc had noted that me on this ride was "by far the happiest I'd been all day". Better than Rise of the Resistance, so glad I managed to get on this, as I was a little worried that we might not have had enough time.
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Our options were to view the Fantasmic! show, or get a final ride of the day in. Our decision was made, and Millennium Falcon Smuggler's Run was walked onto after powering down some Green Milk which I also still think about on the occasion, it still tasted better than how Rise of the Resistance rode. Being the silly little British tourists we are, we both got pilot, and I was stupidly excited to pull forwards on the lever that sent us through lightspeed or something like that, and it felt SO good to do that.
This is a simulator where unlike Mission Space your choices DO matter, and if everyone screws up then your ride can actually end early, so you NEED to lock-in as a group or you're finished.
I'd say this is one of my favourite interactive theme park rides I've done, because of how involved I felt and how much my choices mattered and how generally awesome flying through the Star Wars universe felt. I think we did pretty well too, we managed to do what felt like a full ride. Better than Rise of the Resistance.
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I thought that wandering around Galaxy's Edge would make me like it more. It didn't. We posed in front of the Millennium Falcon for our group photo, then we drove (a better drive than how Rise of the Resistance rode) to McDonald's (which tasted better than how Rise of the Resistance rode).

I'd say a pretty successful day.
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Tomorrow - Penguin Trek and Orlando Slingshot
 
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SeaWorld Orlando was the only park where we didn't meet any locals at all, United Parks must have really written people off from coming back here.
It was an unusually freezing cold day as well, so when we rocked up to Penguin Trek for our first ride of the day to avoid its inevitably massive queue, we were turned away, so we made our way towards #508 Mako instead.
During Mako's sluggish test runs due to the temperatures, word came about that both sides of Stardust Racers, my single most anticipated attraction of the entire week, had valleyed during testing and failed to make it through the course. Our visit to Awesome World was on Friday - the park had four days to recover both trains from the track and reopen the ride, inevitably on reduced capacity and gain a horrendous queue line that will provide a rough day at the brand new theme park which opened just last year. I was really concerned, but I tried not to think about it too much.

We boarded a front row ride on Mako, and despite plummeted thermometers, this almost immediately became my favourite hyper coaster - the airtime on this is simply sublime, and I wouldn't blame anyone for thinking this is their favourite coaster in Florida. The fluid, smooth transitions and incredibly sustained moments of powerful airtime happened for every minute of the ride's cycle, and while the ending does peter out a little bit, everything that comes before is so immensely powerful and wowed us beyond belief.
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#509 Kraken proceeded afterwards, to which we took a back row. We'd heard fairly unfavourable things about this ride running seriously rough, and being a skip for most locals, but I was very happy to disagree with them, as I really enjoyed this inversion-heavy coaster. I remain unconvinced that the floorless gimmick is nothing more than a visual thing, as it doesn't affect the ride experience at all, but either way this was a pretty intense yet smooth coaster that was another monster in size and went on forever. I am comfortably a fan of Kraken and would gladly go back on it, but I was told that I had "gotten lucky" and was advised not to ride it again in order for my opinion to not be ruined!
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I was happy to see a roller coaster themed to a breed of my favourite animals in the world, #510 Manta, I love stingrays more than anyone else I know. It's not something that I talk about much, so if you didn't see my write-up on Winter Park Genoa, this is a quick dosage of Rob Coasters Lore that you may not have been aware of.
Manta was another hotly anticipated coaster in the park for me, because I would be experiencing my first 'pretzel loop', which is only seen on flying coasters like this. Our local flying coaster, Galactica at Alton Towers, is the only one to not feature one but I heard that the lying section of that ride was more intense anyway. As a result, I boarded a back row not expecting much but still having an unending excitement for it, and I have no idea what those people were on, because I think this takes the cake for the single most intense roller coaster element I have ever experienced.
The strong G forces being sustained for that long f'd me up, and the entire rest of the layout became a blur as I fought for my survival and to come out alive. It's the fact that it was right at the beginning of the ride too, and not a grand finale or anything. Anyone who calls a pretzel loop not intense is absolutely insane. The rest of the ride is a flurry of corkscrews, barrel rolls, and that iconic turn over a pool where you skim across it.
It was a fantastic ride and I really loved it, but I was defeated and needed a short break. It's an overwhelming barrage of G forces, even for me, and surpassed any expectation I had.
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We found some stingrays and spent a very long time petting them. They're literally dogs, they're adorable, soft, and come up towards you and sometimes splash you with water. I love them to bits.
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We crossed over this wooden bridge which became the exact turning point to which our day went from "fairly pleasant" to "absolute hell". This was MLK Day (I think), and we decided that SeaWorld was going to be the least busy park for that holiday. So far queues had been reasonable, but when we saw a 75 minute posted queue for Ice Breaker, things took a significant turn for the worse and never improved. We decided that the best course of action was to buy a fast pass, which was around $35 to skip all the lines, which we thought was an excellent deal, so we emptied our pockets on that.
But the thing was, the fastpass queue had hit capacity, and that line also looked horrific, so we cut our losses and rode #511 Super Grover's Box Car Derby.
We obviously weren't a huge fan of this ride, and its twenty minute queue felt like an hour. It's a kiddie coaster that ultimately does its job, but the elephant in the room was that both of us didn't want to be there at the moment.
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The queue for fastpass had gotten worse for #512 Ice Breaker, but we decided "F it" and joined anyway, taking the hit not because we wanted to, but because we had to, and while this wasn't the shortest queue of the week, it was absolutely and undeniably by far the worst and most miserable one. We came to the discovery that the ride was running one train, and operating around 184pph, which were simply dismal operations, especially for an 18 seater train. Another haunting discovery was made -- there was nobody checking fastpasses, and nobody at the fastpass/main queue merge, so a) we had to merge ourselves into the station and fight main queue for it, and b) there were people in this fastpass queue who definitely didn't have any, but knew how the park operated.
This queue SUCKED. We were getting hungry too, but food options were pathetic. Adam is vegetarian, and options for him were almost null. Even for me, I wasn't a fan of anything they were selling, but I was advised not to bother with anything anyway.
Upon merging ourselves into the station, a third discovery was made that there was no grouper assigning people rows, so the station was a clusterf**k of people all battling to try and get their favourite row on the ride. Me and Adam agreed in unison "we just want to get on the stupid thing" and picked a middle row which had the least amount of sardines packed into its line (which is still a lot).

Too bad the ride is excellent and really, really fun. The launches are great and in general this thing punches well above its weight, being a snappy little machine where everything hits well even in the middle seat. This ride must be awesome in the front or back, but we were not even going to try and go for either end of the train with the way the ride was being run. While on the shorter side, we thought to ourselves that Ice Breaker is a very underrated ride that makes good use of every inch of track that it has with great moments of airtime and positive G forces.
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We were starving by this point, but agreed to do one more ride, #513 Pipeline the Surf Coaster, which was being operated in exactly the same way as Ice Breaker to our pair of disheartened souls. We again had found out that our fastpass was slowly becoming a waste of money as there was nobody at merge, to which we overheard someone else talking about the exact same thing and we both agreed that the system was terrible and sucked. This ride also ran one train, but we managed to snag a back row ride as there were few enough people waiting to warrant us giving it a go. I loved Shockwave at Drayton Manor back when it was a stand-up coaster, and couldn't wait to experience a ride of this type where I could jump on the airtime hills and float for seconds at a time.
The launch was excellent and surprisingly good, the beginning overbank was smart, and onwards came the first airtime hill where I leaped for joy, came back down, and in came possibly the most amount of pain any ride has given me, resulting in a scream of agony as I was sent through the following corkscrew inversion.

The way that Pipeline works is that the seats "bounce", it's a system that is actively designed to give you more airtime on the hills. Bouncing on the seats is super fun and jumping on that first airtime hill was satisfying in a way that few words can describe, but the ride has a fatal flaw that kills any desire I have to ever ride it again: they haven't quite figured out the "coming back down". Your fall is NOT cushioned in any way shape or form, so the pseudo-seat becomes Muhammad Ali as it sends itself to punch your inner thighs as hard as it possibly can, causing you to writhe in pain for the entire remainder of the ride.
I cannot overstate how much Pipeline went from a promising 7.5/10 to almost a 0/10 and an immediate entry into my "never again" list. It happened in the space of a millisecond. The rest of the ride was spent twisting and turning, followed by even more airtime hills which I had to ride as defensively as possible to no avail as no matter what, I still came crashing down to a yelp of pain. What should have been by far my favourite parts of the ride ended up becoming the parts that killed the ride.
Pipeline became by far my least favourite coaster of the week, with absolutely zero contest, and Adam came off in agreement that this was not going to be worth our time again, and we both sincerely hope that this ride model never pops up again without some major modifications to the seating.
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For the first time, 1 for 3, our fastpasses were checked as we did an attempt two for #514 Penguin Trek which had opened. The only reason this ride exists is because this park was gaslit into thinking that they were buying a family coaster when Ice Breaker was sold to them, and it's hilarious how safe this ride plays it as a result. This multi-launch family coaster is the newest coaster and for some unknown reason also the one that tracks the worst, with intermittent and noticeable vibrations similar to that on Nemesis Reborn at Alton Towers. It's an... okay ride that definitely serves its purpose as a family attraction, but why you would buy this over something like Mecalodon at Walibi Belgium is simply beyond me. I really don't have much to say about it other than the random overbanked turn in the second half that's unnecessary and very out of place compared to every other part of the ride. You can tell by the quality of this photo that I didn't care much for it.
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The exit of Penguin Trek is perhaps the single worst-designed and most user-unfriendly thing I've ever seen in a theme park.
In order to leave the attraction after riding it, you are forced through a penguin exhibit which a) smells horrendous and b) is absolutely freezing cold compared to the typical Orlando heat. When everyone is in short-sleeve summer clothes and shorts, this contrast is genuinely uncomfortable for most people, and everyone always wants to leave immediately and not giving a single toss about the penguins (and rightfully so).
Because the park cannot afford to have the penguins escape, they need a two-door system.
Staff member opens door 1 and lets a group of people in. Door 1 closes.
A check is made that no penguins are in the holding area.
Door 2 opens.
-
Door 2 closes.
Door 1 reopens.
Repeat the process.
The problem is is that this is a LONG process, extremely convoluted, and there is NO alternate route to exiting the ride. Allegedly guests get quite... passionate about their feelings towards leaving the ride and multiple staff members have quit over this role. Our staff member joked about how awful this position is, how much the whole thing absolutely sucks, and made a 67 joke to my amusement.
This alone can be enough for me to also never want to ride this coaster again. Not because it's a terrible ride, but because of the way you have to leave it. How on earth do you manage to make a system so bad that people barge through the emergency fire-doors to leave sooner and the staff member basically says "yeah fair enough"?
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Journey to Atlantis and Infinity Falls were both closed for weather. Journey to Atlantis was my first roller coaster closure of the week.
From here onwards, it was rerides as all of the open rides we were interested in were ridden. Lap twos were experienced on Manta and Kraken, and a lap three was done on Mako.
The insanity of the pretzel loop in the back row of Manta was enough for me to declare that it was something I only wanted to do once a day, so we went further towards the front, where instead the intensity was a bit underwhelming but either way surviveable. Fast pass was checked here, 2 for 4.
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The locals were correct that my second ride on Kraken was going to be a little worse than my first, but I still enjoyed the ride a lot and think it's a solid attraction. Adam was not so lucky. Fast pass was checked here, 3 for 5.
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Lap two of Mako, we went for the back this time, and some rides are better off being ridden only once because the trims had been turned on and they were very noticeable as well. This ride was a lot more disappointing than our first, but we didn't want to end things on a bad note, so we went straight back around to end the day with a front row ride, where for some reason we barely acknowledged the trims at all and got by far our best ride on it, solidifying it once again as one of my favourite coasters in Florida. Fast passes were not checked, 3 for 7.
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After we did Pipeline, the only edible thing we managed to find all day was the worst churro both of us ever had and a pretzel. That's it.
We agree that despite there being really good roller coasters and stingrays, we would probably not return to SeaWorld on a future visit to Orlando.

Our day was not over though, as we hailed an Uber to Fun Spot Kissimmee which was nearby. We also finally met Roc again, who agreed to join us at this silly little park.
Hitching a ride on #515 Galaxy Spin, not quite Cosmic Rewind unfortunately.
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And the legendary #516 Mine Blower, one of the most infamous roller coasters in the country for its jarring roughness and one of the worst roller coasters in the world for multiple people - and also one of the best for others, and I am extremely happy to report that I loved Mine Blower! The incredible speed meant that you absolutely flew through the layout, the inversion was awesome and the roughness didn't affect me at all even in the back row. Roc declared that this was the best ride he'd gotten on Mine Blower in years, and while the ride dies out HARD near the end, it was so good that I welcomed it into my top 25, which came with an involuntary burst of laughter.
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#517 Sea Serpent was also collected, my first coaster from E&F Miler, and this wasn't the only one I'd be riding today.
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Because the other is #518 Hurricane, where Roc stated that he was hotly anticipating my reaction to this ridiculously janky ride, and this was every bit as hilarious as people said it was. Kinda terrifying with how open and small the seats are compared to the monstrous size of the ride. I'd be lying if I said this also wasn't one of my most anticipated coasters of the entire week, out of sheer hilarity more than anything.
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Fun Spot Kissimmee is also home to the world's tallest Skycoaster, standing at 300ft tall, and I felt an obligation to do this one. I like Skycoasters, having done two before, but they're expensive rides, and I'm going off the logic that "if I ride the biggest one, I've ridden them all". I was due to have someone ride with me, but they were unable to make it, so I went it alone. Being hoisted 300ft in the air with nothing but two cables holding you up is surprisingly not as scary as it sounds. Being someone who can get very dizzy standing over a 20ft ledge, I'm not scared of heights but rather falling. When it's my responsibility to not get hurt, that's when the fear settles in, but I have reason to believe these rides are safe, and all of them have operated without incident, so fear levels were essentially null here.
Pulling the cord and flying freely was quite nice, pleasant, calming and graceful. Those expecting loud screams were disappointed.
My main thought in my head was "I'm losing momentum very quickly here", more than anything.

We thoroughly enjoyed one more lap on Mine Blower before heading to Icon Park.

Icon Park is home to the world's tallest Slingshot, standing at 450ft tall, and I felt an obligation to do this one. I like Slingshots, having done one before, but they're expensive rides, and I'm going off the logic that "if I ride the biggest one, I've ridden them all". I was not due to have someone ride with me, so I went it alone. I went into this with one task: "stare directly into the camera the entire time and don't emote at all", which I think I was pretty successful with. It's unfortunate that I had to remove my glasses though.
Honestly, it was just alright.

Icon Park is home to one of the world's tallest Star Flyers, which Roc agreed to ride with me, and Adam sat out. This felt nowhere near 450ft, and left me utterly convinced that it didn't even break 200. This felt like quite a huge waste of time, definitely the worst of the three "record-breaking" upcharges that I did today.
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Tomorrow - Dinosaur and Country Bears Musical Jamboree
 
The Tree of Life.
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8am may be the earliest I have arrived at a theme park, but here we are for the rope-drop of The Triangle here at Shapeland. Pandora can be best-explained as "slightly better Galaxy's Edge", with 'it looks exactly like the photos' being a fitting explanation for it. Like Galaxy's Edge, it's some impressive physical props that ultimately fall short due to the static nature of the area and, again, the ambience-focused approach over music. This is a thing that I've attempted to nickname myself as "hyper-immersion", but ultimately I think this approach is a little flawed and tries a little too hard. It tries to go "beyond" theme parks, but that is lost on me sadly.
We were with Orlando local Will today, who also served as our tour guide as we explored both of the remaining Walt Disney World parks today.
The Triangle, also known as Flight of Passage, is supposedly the world's best flying theatre-type attraction, but disappointingly it was not running at its full potential, which starkly reminded me of Rise of the Resistance.
Before I can explain what was broken, the ride system itself has to be explained first. You fly on a mythical creature known as a Banshee, and the way you sit on it is leaning forwards like you're on a motorbike. The banshee is made of a lot of hydraulics that move the "skin" of the creature to simulate breathing, and you also wear 3D glasses to make the ride pop out a little more. Unfortunately the majority of the breathing mechanism was not working, only feeling it on the legs, and this was shared across Will and Adam too, so it must've been a "if one is broken then they're all broken" situation. The 3D glasses were also not working, with one eye for some reason being a lot more broken than the other. This caused the colours that "merge" together to create the 3D feeling to be very visible and severely break the illusion of hyper-immersion that they're going for.
My wide field of vision also allowed me to see all of the others next to me, and of course the preference of ambience over music was the deal-breaker that caused this to only take third place in my list of my favourite flying theatres. Ouch.
For a ride that can make people cry, it sure didn't for me.
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We then had two or three laps of #519 The Square, formerly the most expensive roller coaster in the world and also going by the alternate less-used name Expedition Everest. Will commented that this was his favourite queue line in the Walt Disney World Resort, and I definitely understood the appeal.
The ride, again, didn't really live up to the sky-high hype that it had. Another extremely impressive structure at Shapeland, it's absolutely crazy insane that they built such a huge replica of a mountain for this silly mine train coaster.
It's difficult to put my finger on why this ride didn't really leave the biggest impression for me. I guess it has to be growing up in Europe where high levels of theming is essentially the norm here, but when I question whether or not I prefer stupid Calamity Mine at Walibi Belgium, my eyebrow raises beyond my forehead.
Going up the mountain is awesome, going through the mountain is pretty cool, seeing the yeti was neat, and that double helix finale was great, and the general presentation of the ride was done incredibly well, but the combination of everything... leads to a ride that I wish did more for me. It leaves me in a state of almost confusion, but I guess I know what I would rather be on, and that's Colorado Adventure and the Parisian Big Thunder Mountain.

I remember saying that I wasn't a huge fan of ambience, but my goodness Tower of Terror and Expedition Everest absolutely perfect the haunting vibes of both of those cursed attractions. So they definitely know how to do it, they just seemingly decided to forget instead.
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Our final ride at Shapeland was The Octagon, the dinosaur-themed attraction that alternatively goes by the name of said prehistoric creature, which was due to close permanently in the next couple weeks so I was very glad that I got to go on it. The premise of the ride is basically "we have to go back in time and bring an iguanodon home before the meteor arrives and destroys Dusty Depotthe dinosaurs". The thing I remember most about this attraction was that it really put the "dark" into "dark ride", because wow there were some areas that were pitch black, and it truly feels like something Disney will never build again, also because of how surprisingly scary and tense it was! With the rapid movement of the ride vehicle and the meteor being a ticking time bomb, you're sent into a frenzied panic as you rush across basically every dinosaur except for an iguanodon, and when you finally find him, it's too late, the meteor is going to kill everyone and you must return to the time machine. Mission Failed. I think this is the first ever time I've actually had a "mission failed" in a theme park attraction, and at DISNEY of all places, it really wowed me, they REALLY would never do this again.
Although suddenly the iguanodon managed to somehow come into the time machine with us and we now have one and it's roaming in the lab and it's going to destroy everything. A bit of a strange last-minute ending that was communicated in the last ten seconds, but, well, fair enough.
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I will miss Dinosaur a lot. It was by far my favourite ride of the three that I rode here, but three hours have passed, it's 11am, and it's time to leave for Magic Kingdom.
Because Mr. Walt Disney rightfully decided that he wanted the car park to be as far away from Magic Kingdom as possible in order to create more immersion, he put the park on the opposite end of a colossal lake, so after parking you must take either a ferry boat or a monorail. For the way here, we took the ferry.
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Obviously, obviously the first ride at Magic Kingdom had to be #520 Space Mountain (Alpha), which brings me to maybe one of my biggest pet peeves in theme parks, switchback queues in the ride station. Being so agonisingly close to the loading area, being able to watch people board, and still being a solid 25 minutes away, is painful for me personally and Space Mountain might be the single worst offender here. I've always hated this genre of roller coaster queue line, ideally I don't want to see the station at all unless I am maximum five minutes away from getting on. Am I the only one here?
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Well once we got on, our woes were eliminated, Space Mountain is an amazing ride that obviously lives up to the hype. While it lacks the onboard audio like on the other Spaces, this was a whimsical funfest of joy full of sounds and lights and shocking moments of genuine ejector airtime. The open nature of the single-file seating, the very real clearance risks that WILL hit you if you put your hands up a little too far, the unbelievable sense of speed that you get (the fastest 27 or so mph of my entire life), all combined together to create a truly magical coaster that is a real remnant of the past and should be preserved for a very long time.
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Next was Walt Disney's Carousel of Progress, a twenty-minute revolving theatre extravaganza that was apparently relocated from some World's Fair in the 1960s and shows you how a family has grown up through the years. It can kind of send you to sleep sometimes, it admittedly did a little bit for me, but the best way to describe this ride is "charming". I'd be lying if I said this wasn't one of my favourite rides in the park as a whole - there really is a great, big, beautiful tomorrow.
Once we got off, Will had realised that he left his hoodie behind, and a very kind lady noticed and brought it to him before the doors closed off again for another twenty minutes - crisis thankfully averted.
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We remained in Tomorrowland for more of the day as we boarded Tomorrowland Transit Authority Peoplemover, which was again another contender for my favourite ride in the park! You might be wondering "okay what's the big deal, it's just a monorail that gives you a tour of this single area of the park", but it's just pleasant and a nice sit down, and it was very well executed for what it was. Giving you a sneaky peek at the interior of Space Mountain, some little indoor props that only you can see, having a jolly around the perimeter of a restaurant, it has so many nice little touches that I really appreciated during my time on the ride.
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It was time for another roller coaster though, still in Tomorrowland, as we rode #521 Tron Lightcycle Run. This had a notably awful queue, and it felt obvious that they forgot how to leave enough space for an indoor line, as this was a permanent switchback in the entrance plaza for the ride which felt very hastily done and rushed, in an "oh shoot we forgot the queue" way.
People really, really hate this ride, but I thought it was okay. You have a pretty fun launch into the swooping turn that takes up the entrance plaza, and the rest of the ride consists of you snaking downwards with a lot of intermittent pauses in between and some biiiig screens, and then suddenly you win. It's a very short ride that ends out of seemingly nowhere, and the lack of physical sets is very obvious, and the outdoor section is by far the best part of the ride, but I don't know, I think it's pretty neat for what it is. It's nowhere even close to the best ride here, but it serves a purpose even if it is a major downgrade from Cosmic Rewind in every way possible.
Will had another oopsie as his locker had broken with his belongings inside of it, but thankfully was able to retrieve it with a quick chat from a friendly cast member.
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Finally, we left Tomorrowland, and headed for other areas of the park. We were able to get on Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh extremely quickly, and this was a fun dark ride. I was very taken aback when Winnie herself suddenly died and became a ghost, and the ending with the bouncy car that apparently breaks all the time was funny too. These small aspects of otherwise traditional tracked rides make them all stand out from each other in their own unique ways.
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The next showing of Mickey's PhilharMagic was beginning in a few minutes, so we were able to get straight on. I've had absolutely no clue what this was, and this might compete with Runaway Railway for the most "Disney" ride at the park. This is a 4D theatre that was honestly just awesome, and truly evoked that "I'm at Disney!" feeling that had somehow escaped me until now - it had all finally settled in that I was here. The showing was full of really convincing effects that Flight of Passage wished it could be even close to, and it had a wonderful storyline, and then suddenly, my entire life flashed before my eyes.
You see, I never really watched Disney films when I was younger. Maybe a few, but I could count on one hand. So I never saw Beauty and the Beast.
And as someone who also grew up online a lot, I was introduced to this song fairly early, so for a decade or so I thought this was a funny original song;

You can imagine the shock and horror on my face when "Be Our Guest" played during the showing, as I realised that my entire life was a lie this whole time... I've been trolled.
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We were able to get on Peter Pan's Flight at a considerably acceptable speed. This ride, uhhhh, has a few scenes where you fly over different physical sets. I remember queueing 75 minutes for this back in Paris in 2023 because I didn't know what it was. Not my proudest highlight, but at least we got redemption here.
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Our route led us to the Haunted Mansion, which had a very external queue line, but turns out the actual queue just can't manage more than twenty minutes' worth of people in it, the line moved very fast. This is a really cool ghost train-style ride, and while everyone says this is a weaker version of the Phantom Manor in Paris, I really wasn't able to notice the differences between them enough to have a strong preference either way - my impression was "they're both as good as each other, I think". The thing that sets Magic Kingdom's one apart is a ghost known as the Hatbox who takes his head off, but that's all I can think of, and this one stopped far more frequently in order to accommodate for disabled guests with mobility issues who needed assistance with boarding and disembarking. From what I can tell, this seems to be the biggest reason for why people prefer Paris' version, because that one stops far less for those who can't use the ride without help.
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Up next was Tiana's Bayou Adventure, a hasty re-do of the original Splash Mountain which was renovated due to it having slightly racist undertones(?). We jokingly referred to this ride as "TVana's" as a reference to the insane quantity of screens used during the ride, and obvious areas where physical animatronics were clearly budget cut out of the ride. There are definitely areas where the sets feel a little empty, but I still enjoyed this log flume ride which provided some terrifying drops and big splashes.
My biggest surprise overall with this ride was the station having no roof, which I didn't expect to see at all at, well, any Disney ride.
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Now it was time for another one of the biggest winners of the resort, Country Bears Jamboree. I loved, loved, loved every second of this ride, and I think having multiple European ripoffs really helped, because that reminded me significantly of how hilarious those were. I would happily call this one of my favourite attractions in the entire park and the whole thing was an absolute joy from start to finish as I had the biggest smile on my face the whole way through.
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Whew, we still got more. Pirates of the Caribbean was another hastily-put-together ride, after endless complaints that Magic Kingdom had opened without a Pirates ride, this was shoved in within the first couple years. As a result, they didn't have too much space to build this ride, and is by far the shortest and allegedly weakest one of its type, but while that is the case, I still quite liked this, and intensely welcomed the themed roof that I always look out for in my dark rides.
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I don't know who Sonny Eclipse is, but I loved him.
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Time was getting on now. I wanted to ditch both coasters in favour of Jungle Cruise, but that was the wrong move, because we had time for three more rides instead.
#522 Barnstormer is a traditional, small junior coaster that is definitely a remnant of early Disney as they found their footing and discovered what they wanted to be.
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We saw the indoor section of Tron in plain view, in the past this would have been completely covered entirely, but nah, it's just here for anyone to look at.
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We then queued a considerable amount of time, almost an hour, for #523 Seven Dwarfs Mine Train. This has a lot of STIMULATION!!!!!!! in the queue line with the gems and the water fountains and the spinny barrels which I had the time of my life with. The coaster, while abruptly short, was something that I honestly really liked. The mid-section with the chanting and indoor lift hill was great and had me briefly thinking to myself "hold on, this isn't too bad!", and we had great fun trying to swing the cars as much as we possibly could.
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And FIVE MINUTES before park close, we raced across to Tomorrowland and successfully snagged #524 Space Mountain (Omega), the side which is usually reserved for Fastpass users, but both sides were open to anyone considering that it was the end of the day and the line was five minutes. Hell yeah! This side was even better than Alpha, truthfully because it ran slightly rougher, but that means every moment, hill, turn and helix had that extra bite to it that felt in-character for Space Mountain and made me think even higher of the ride than I previously did, which I didn't think was possible.
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And then the park closed. We walked out to the sonic boomingly loud fireworks behind Cinderella's Castle as we beat the crowds to get to the monorail and make our way back to the hotel. A fantastic day all around, and my concerns with Disney queues were easily beaten as honestly none of them were as bad as people made them out to be. But that may be because I didn't experience these queues before Lightning Lane existed.
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Tomorrow - Kumba
 
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Interesting reports, Rob!

I agree with you somewhat on Pipeline, although I didn’t hate it nearly as much as you seem to. It’s a good concept and the airtime is objectively strong, but I think it struggles with execution and the fact that standup coasters inherently are not very comfortable. I’m glad someone else agrees on Ice Breaker; I absolutely loved that ride, but I rarely hear a good word said about it!

Out of curiosity, why do you refer to each of the major rides at Animal Kingdom by a shape and refer to the park as Shapeland? I’ve never heard that before! I share your opinion on Everest; I’ve done it twice, in 2014 and 2019 respectively, and while fun, it’s always left me feeling slightly cold, and I can think of multiple family coasters within the Disney resort alone that I enjoyed more. I liked Flight of Passage more than you did and would call it easily my favourite flying theatre, but I admit that I don’t quite subscribe to some of the most obscene hype it’s received. Although I do have to disagree on Dinosaur… I seem to be the only person alive who found that ride a bit rubbish!

Did you get the chance to ride Kali River Rapids or Kilimanjaro Safaris at Animal Kingdom? Both of those are good attractions to ride, in my view!
 
Interesting reports, Rob!

I agree with you somewhat on Pipeline, although I didn’t hate it nearly as much as you seem to. It’s a good concept and the airtime is objectively strong, but I think it struggles with execution and the fact that standup coasters inherently are not very comfortable. I’m glad someone else agrees on Ice Breaker; I absolutely loved that ride, but I rarely hear a good word said about it!

Out of curiosity, why do you refer to each of the major rides at Animal Kingdom by a shape and refer to the park as Shapeland? I’ve never heard that before! I share your opinion on Everest; I’ve done it twice, in 2014 and 2019 respectively, and while fun, it’s always left me feeling slightly cold, and I can think of multiple family coasters within the Disney resort alone that I enjoyed more. I liked Flight of Passage more than you did and would call it easily my favourite flying theatre, but I admit that I don’t quite subscribe to some of the most obscene hype it’s received. Although I do have to disagree on Dinosaur… I seem to be the only person alive who found that ride a bit rubbish!

Did you get the chance to ride Kali River Rapids or Kilimanjaro Safaris at Animal Kingdom? Both of those are good attractions to ride, in my view!
Glad to hear that you share some of my thoughts, but interesting to see how you differ as well. I might give myself a refresher on your Florida reports to see what you weren't too fond of with Dinosaur, but I have wondered to myself if I hold the ride in a more positive light because I knew that it was closing.

Shapeland is a reference to the documentary "Disney's FastPass: A Complicated History" by Defunctland. It's 1 hour and 40 minutes on a very niche subject, but executed very well and one of my favourite videos on YouTube. I highly recommend it. It's accessible and engaging even if you don't think you would like it.

We decided against a lap of Kali River Rapids or Kilimanjaro Safaris, much to the dismay of some people who were very... vocal with their thoughts about us skipping them. This was mainly due to time and having an absolutely massive to-do list at Magic Kingdom. By the time the "big 3" were done, both of those rides had at least a 40 minute line and Kilimanjaro was a major time commitment anyway, so we cut our losses. I'm thinking that on a future visit, those two rides would be prioritised as a must-do.

For reference, my flying theatre ranking is: Flight of the Sky Lion > Voletarium > Flight of Passage > Emmett's Flying Adventure. Expedition Odyssey and Soarin' were not ridden this week. Although a new flying theatre I've ridden post-Florida has now taken the bottom spot, so get excited!
 
Glad to hear that you share some of my thoughts, but interesting to see how you differ as well. I might give myself a refresher on your Florida reports to see what you weren't too fond of with Dinosaur, but I have wondered to myself if I hold the ride in a more positive light because I knew that it was closing.
My main issue with it was that it just seemed to have large swathes of darkness. It reminded me of the dark bits of The Curse at Alton Manor in opening year, but on steroids. Some people seem to praise it as a brave design choice, but it just didn’t quite do it for me.

I also remember the ride system being quite jerky, but that wasn’t my main issue.
 
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