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Last Park Review

Matt N

CF Legend
Hi guys. As the Last Cred Review thread always seems so popular, I thought it might be fun if I made a similar thread, but for theme parks instead of roller coasters. If you haven't seen that thread, what you do is basically do a brief review of the last theme park you went to. I'll get the ball rolling with mine:

Blackpool Pleasure Beach: I really love Blackpool, and it's one of my personal favourite theme parks I've ever been to! I just adore the mix of old and new at the park, and it really is quite a sight to look at, with rides and attractions rammed into every corner! The ride selection is great; Icon is the main highlight for me, but there's many other fun and unique attractions too! Overall, Blackpool is a great park, in my opinion!

I look forward to hearing some of your reviews!
 
Ooh nice idea! :)

The last park I visited was actually Glenwood Caverns ... and it's awesome! Should be a bucket list park for everyone. The location is what makes it extra special, amazing views in every direction, truly unique attractions and hands-down two of the best flat rides I've ever been on - the Haunted Mine Drop and the Giant Canyon Swing.
It's a small park with only a handful of rides but I guarantee you'll want to spend all day there.
Definitely one of my faves, I'm quite happy to discuss Glenwood Caverns in the same breath as Cedar Point, Universal, Europa, Efteling, SDC etc...
Amazing. Go there.
Just go.
 
Tokyo Joypolis.

Hated it the first time I went. Had to go back a second time for a cred and hated it. Had to go back again for a new cred, and didn't hate it quite so much since I just did the coaster and f**ked off.

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Ferrari Land (the Port Aventura one).
Hmm, weird one, this. I mean, do you review it as an integral part of the Port Aventura resort, or do you review it as a standalone theme park in it's own right?
I love Port Aventura, it's my favourite European theme park, and I think it's great that it now has this whole new area to explore. An area that is certainly different to anything else in Europe, was obviously very expensive to build, and on paper has a handful of unique-ish attractions. It has some fairly impressive recreations of Italian architecture, a whole bunch of Ferraris to gawp over and, of course, the Big Red Penis sticking up in the middle of it. Brilliant, so far so good.
The trouble is, they bill it as a separate park, it has its own separate gate and they charge you a separate entrance fee to get in, therefore one has to review it as a self contained unit and it that respect I'm afraid to say Ferrari Land is a bit of a fail.
Bottom line is this: there's simply not enough to do there. Once you look past the glossy facades and the shiny red paint work, most of what is there is actually a bit sub-standard. The shot and drop towers for example; sure, they look cool, vaguely resembling car pistons, and they do offer a different ride experience to Hurakan Condor, but the truth is they're just a bit forceless and naff. It just makes you wonder why they bothered when there's a much bigger, much better drop tower in the main park next door.
And then there's the flying theatre. Not a bad idea on paper, I like flying theatres, and getting a bird's eye view of various Ferraris zooming around some world famous locations (including Monument Valley, yay!) sounded cool, but the pre-show is long and boring, the image quality isn't great, unlike other flying theatres I've been on the safety rail doesn't retract, it just stays there blocking the view and worst of all, the Ferraris in the film don't even drive very fast or rev the engine very much. Who in their right mind drives a Ferrari through a tunnel and doesn't give the engine a blast?? Nobody, that's who.
Fail.
The car-based simulator isn't much better - long and boring pre-show, poor graphics with unrealistic delivery and a wasted opportunity to have an exciting, booming V8 based soundtrack.

Then you've got that tyre change, time challenge thing. I mean seriously, what on earth is that about?
Other than that you've got the kiddie cred, a small flat ride called Crazy Pistons and a small whip ride which we were flatly denied.
That's really about it. Basically then, the only attraction here that's really worth your time is the Big Red Penis. When you look at it like that, Ferrari Land on its own is actually a bit rubbish.
Dunno then. To be recognised as a standalone theme park, Ferrari Land simply needs more stuff. And it needs to be better than the stuff they got.
Otherwise just do away with the separate entry fee and include it as a themed area of Port Aventura.
 
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I’m going to bump this thread, if nobody minds!

For those interested, I had my first ever visit to Parc Astérix yesterday.

All in all, I had an excellent visit, with 2 rides on Toutatis, 1 ride on each of the other coasters and 1 ride on the rapids too. I was anticipating it being sort of like the SeaWorld Orlando/Busch Gardens Tampa to DLP’s Walt Disney World/Universal Orlando and more of a relatively minimally themed, weakly operated pure coaster park (I like SeaWorld and Busch very much, but I think it’s fair to say that they aren’t highly-themed, high-end products like the main resorts in Orlando), but it is a much more substantial affair in its own right than I’d anticipated and I think I hardly even scratched the surface of what the park has to offer. I think you could easily fill 2 days there if you wanted to; it’s a pleasant and well-kept park with much better theming than I was anticipating, operations are generally very good (even if there are a couple of weird quirks in places), and while I didn’t experience any non-coasters apart from the rapids, they have a more holistic range of attractions than I expected.

In terms of specific highlights, I had 4 coasters at the park hit my overall top quartile:
  • Toutatis is the crown jewel of the lineup for me, with it narrowly dethroning VelociCoaster from my #1 spot. The layout is sublime, but that swing launch sequence is something else entirely!
  • Half of me expected to absolutely hate Tonnerre 2 Zeus, as someone who generally doesn’t have an overly high roughness tolerance, but while it definitely isn’t glossy smooth like a GCI, it wasn’t nearly as painfully rough as I’d feared overall and I absolutely loved it; it’s a complete riot of a ride quite unlike any other woodie I’ve ever ridden! I still don’t overly love the Timberliners, and I do think that prevents it from hitting my very top tier and dethroning Wodan as my favourite woodie, but it was certainly a fantastic ride with a cracking layout! In its own inexplicable way, it was absolutely mental and delivered shock value like few other rides I’ve ever ridden; the deafening loudness and general unrestrained feel gave it an odd aura that transcended the physical layout and made it one of those rides you can’t help but crease up at!
  • Oz’Iris is absolutely superb and definitely my new favourite B&M invert. It has brilliant speed and forces without being overbearing, the inversions are wonderfully floaty, it’s long and I loved the unique sequencing and sensations you get on there compared to other B&M inverts!
  • Pegase Express, while not quite up there with the other 3, was an absolutely superb family thrill coaster! Both the forwards and backwards sections are punchy and thrilling, and I would overall put it somewhere on the level of Thirteen and Gold Rush as being an excellently fun coaster that a wide range of people can enjoy!
All in all, I very much enjoyed Astérix and would definitely say it was one of my top 5 parks in Europe! Where it sits exactly in that list, I’m not too sure of; instinctively, I would say I wouldn’t place it as highly as Europa Park or PortAventura Park, and possibly below Alton Towers as well, but those are the only 3 I can think of that could sit higher and I think it’s hard for me to compare a park I spent 1 day at to parks I spent a proper multi-day short break at (Europa and PA) or a park I’ve spent nearly 50 days at in my lifetime that is brimming with personal nostalgia around every corner (Towers).

It’s definitely a park I’d return to in the future, possibly when the next new coaster has opened, and it seems like a relatively easy one to do from the UK!

If you’d like to read my full trip report, it’s here: https://coasterforce.com/forums/threads/parc-ast%C3%A9rix-29th-june-2026.47913/#post-1194891
 
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