Nitefly embraces his inner crocodilian in Florida... and more!

[Nitefly]

As a polite warning, this blog will contain occasional strong language, toilet humour and shocking levels of self-importance. It will (at most times) be terrible. But, for those that can endure or simply have nothing better to do…. I recommend gripping onto your seat and securely fastening all nearby valuable items, because it's about to get…. spicy.

*****

Part 1 - Travel, Hotel and Misc. Stuff

That feeling when you log off work for a two week holiday: yeeeeeeeeeeeeees!!!!!!

… and not just any holiday: Floribobs. This would be my third trip to this most sacred destination with my favourite travel companion, Mrs. Nitefly. We would be hitting all of the major parks (the full list of which will be revealed in due course ), with many new attractions for us to experience. Oh, such excitement! That evening, not even the broken wheels on my suitcase could bring me down.

But, the many ***** I encountered at the airport could. Seriously, where do these hordes of ***** come from? The following persons were swiftly added to my death list:

• The man that said “someone is sitting there” in the airport lounge when, over the course of two hours, nobody sat there.
• All persons who didn’t return the security check trays to the designated spot despite the BIG ****ING SIGNS telling them to.
• The woman at check-in barging through everyone saying there was no queue, only to cause a hold up because her husband was unable to navigate their luggage through…. the queue of people.

Diiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Fortunately, I was able to dissipate my rage by observing the various amusing airport vehicles vehicles (like this one) and before long, we were off and up in the sky. Despite the variety of films on offer, my choice of entertainment is to sit and stare at the image of the plane flying through the sky. Does anyone else do this? For some reason on long haul flights, my mind can go into this weird ‘airplane mode’, where time ceases to exist. In this peace, I was able to choose the colour (bone) and the font (silian rail) for my new business cards.

Our hotel of choice for this adventure would be Sapphire Falls, one of the many resorts now available at Universal Orlando (and the fourth of which I’ve stayed at). Most of the Universal hotels are in a truly fantastic location, just a short 10(ish) minute walk away from Islands of Adventure and Universal Studios. During this busy ‘Spring Break’ period, the more premium Universal hotels (which come were free express passes) were obnoxiously expensive, so we gave them a miss, but it’s also very worthwhile strategy to stay at one of those premium hotels for perhaps only a day (to get two days of express passes) before moving to one of the value options.

Unfortunately, we were initially blighted by an insufferable room. “BRUM BRUM - VRRROOOOOOM!” said the Formula 1 car that was merrily revving away inside our ventilation ducting. Upon deciding this was unacceptable we called reception, who told us that an engineer would be immediately deployed to our room to promptly rectify the situation. This was dandy, but it turned out that the engineer was located approximately two hours away. You would have thought they would keep their service teams closer to the hotel? During this wait, I had a creeping feeling of deja vu, but I remained chirpy and hopeful that all would be resolved with ingenuity and craft.

Spoiler: Here was the resolution

My ****ing face. What is this…. Western Camp?!

We eventually moved to a much better room, in ‘Guest House 3’ which is by far the best location in the hotel as it’s closest to everything (amenities, parking, restaurants, the theme parks, etc). If you stay at this hotel, make sure you request ‘Guest House 3’

Otherwise the hotel was ‘fair’. The pool area was certainly nice although the decor and theming throughout was a little basic (not as good as the Hard Rock hotel or the Royal Pacific resort, nor as fun a Cabana bay). Of note, the rooms had one of those terrible non-locking, non-private, loose fitting sliding doors on the bathrooms. Don’t stay here if you’re not comfortable with hearing your roommate(s) having a poo. Or be prepared to play ‘having a poo’-blocking music from your phone.

Overall, if you want to be based at Universal then staying at Royal Pacific for a short period and then moving to Cabana Bay is still my recommendation and I will probably do something similar to this next time.

I’ll close out this post by going through various travelling / ‘not-specific-to-a-single-park’ stuff, to free up the incoming ‘park blogs’. I apologise as from this point it’s a little dry and boring, but you may learn something useful for your own upcoming trip (particularly if you the pandemic has interrupted your travels to faraway places over the last couple of years). I’d love for you to have a great time, so I thought I’d share.

- For some reason (probably because of the mega-long park days and climate to prepare for), leaving the hotel room on this trip somehow always seemed like a military operation. Despite the urgency and excitement to leave ASAP, from packing our rucksack all the way through to getting the ridiculously big car out of the garage, it was painful and always seemed to take forever. A frustrated Mrs. Nitefly eventually decided to capture the drama on camera (evidencing my typically glacial deployment to any theme park). Maybe go with winging it every now and then.

- Throughout most of the trip, I had a dull headache that I couldn’t seem to shift. I assumed that it was either ‘Coaster Sickness’, dehydration, or lack of sleep, but it just wouldn’t fully go away. In truth, it was really beginning to get me down… but in the final days I finally realised what was going on: I hadn’t drank any coffee and I was suffering from caffeine withdrawal - a couple of cups sorted me out right away. If you’re a serial coffee drinker, don’t dramatically change your habits and go cold turkey!

- With such excitement, it’s easy to bite off more than you can chew. Did we trek all the way for a ride on Velocicoaster as soon as we landed, after 24 hours of no sleep? Heck yeah, we were supremely excited. But it really was unnecessary. Our bodies were in no fit state to ride and we would have enjoyed it more if we had waited (and would be more rested for the following day). After our second ride, we had pounding headaches and felt a bit sorry for ourselves. Don’t be a silly Nitefly: listen to your body and take it easy.

- On a similar note, you probably know this already but Florida is hot. Sure, the weather in March is quite modest by Florida-standards (jumper and shorts in the evenings if its cloudy) but in the peak of the day it can still get aggressive / unbearable out of the shade. Add in serious amounts of theme park walking (we almost hit 30,000 steps on some days and averaged over 20,000) and you can get exhausted very quickly. In my personal experience, I am more prone to heat exhaustion with a shaved head, so fellow ‘baldies’ beware. Taking an umbrella for shade, as well as the rain, is a pretty good idea.

- With all that walking and new shoes I completely ****ed my feet on this trip - even though I purposefully bought new ‘deliberately comfy’ shoes. Take your old battered pair instead.

- Take (or buy) a huge plastic drink container with you, to fill up at water fountains. We bought one at Seaworld which was then $5-ish to use at refill stations on subsequent visits to both Seaworld and Busch Gardens. The large size meant we got to fill it up with ice to make the drinks super chilly. When you’re feeling exhausted from the heat, a cold drink is a ‘hack’ for feeling back on form so even if you have to pay theme park prices for a cold drink, do it.

- Having previously championed using a ‘ride hailing app’ to get around Orlando, hiring a car is definitely the way to do it. Not only can you leave stuff in your car (making planning for the weather easier and travelling stress free time-wise) it avoids annoying situations where there is a ridiculous ‘surge’ in pricing that lasts for hours. We did travel using ride hailing a couple of times, when planning on drinking alcohol, and whilst it was mostly fine, we paid 3x the usual price for a trip back to the hotel after waiting more than an hour for the surge to end, as it was starting to cut into sleep time.

- On a lighter note, hiring a car also allowed us to listen to glorious American Radio. Our favourite was a country-pop station called ‘The Highway’. The lyrics and music, totally ‘off grid’ in the UK, frequently provided much amusement.

Spoiler: Here are some of our favourite tracks

That wraps up the 'travel' - stay tuned for theme park goodness and a major shake-up to my previous top 10.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Nitefly]

Part 2 - Coaster Wars (VelociCoaster vs Iron Gwazi vs Hagrid’s)

Hmm. I was intending to jump straight into my trip report of Islands of Adventure, but it turns out I have a lot to say on these three rides. I simply don’t see how I could properly review any of them in isolation, so I’ve decided to collate my thoughts on all three into this single post. I’ll get round to the other rides and the parks themselves in future updates.

For ‘Team Nitefly’, the pre-trip hype for this elite threesome was off the charts. With the mighty Zadra being our existing ‘Number 1’, could either of us end the trip with a new top coaster….? Let’s find out.

VelociCoaster

As mentioned, our first experience of Velocicoaster was two night rides, the day we arrived in Orlando. Seeing that top hat with those glowing trains in the flesh caused a delirious excitement. We were here.

Crossing the bridge from the ‘Lost Continent’ area towards Velocicoaster provided a stunning visual moment, as the train screamed through the stall in front of us, causing gasps of delight. We then turned the corner and the ride entrance was revealed in all its glory: VelociCoaster. As we stood there in awe, the glowing train screamed overhead again, as it commenced its second ‘lap’ over the water. This sequence was probably the most visually exciting off-ride coaster moment I have ever had. Wow.

Universal really did go above and beyond on the presentation on this ride. Not only does its enormousness provide excellent visuals from across the lake, the theming really is every bit as impressive as it looks on video. The inside portion of the queue in particular is an absolute delight, with those animatronic raptors that shake their cages. Even round the back of the ride (away from the water), you can get a great look into the ‘raptor enclosure’ that makes up the first portion of the coaster. It really is very easy to love this ride from its visuals alone.

Some snaps:

Another enormous pro is that, as everyone else has mentioned, the operations on this ride are insanely good. The line moves super fast and, as a bonus, you can also ask for the front or back row, which may not always be accommodated but it was for us (without any fuss) each time that we made such a request. You will probably have to wait a little longer the front of course, but being sworn front row riders there was no hesitation as to where we would be sitting. And what a ride it was.

VelociCoaster (VC) is in many ways obviously similar to Taron. Both commence with a launch and the ride is then split in half by a second, more aggressive launch. Both involve numerous near misses and even have the same comfy trains. I would say the first half of VC in the front is slightly more thrilling than the majority of Taron but then, more impressively, after the second launch VC goes Super Saiyan and becomes something else entirely; uncompromisingly wild and badass. It’s in this latter half where VC truly shines, swooping over the water and providing numerous jolts of tasty airtime. The mosasaurus roll and the stall are notably highlights, but generally this second half is sublime.

Hitting the break-run on VC resulted in shrieks of joy from the whole train and a discussion as to whether Zadra has been bested (!) - we immediately sped around to ride again, this time opting for the back row. Now, the first half is far more thrilling in the back, with decent airtime and flying above Taron-standards, but on this ride I did find myself a little mindful of the rattling. By the end of that second ride, Mrs. Nitefly was pulling a displeased “get me off” face and likewise, although I enjoyed myself I had a pretty gnarly headache. But, heck, we were exhausted - no way would it be as uncomfortable in the back when we were fresh as daisies. Right?

Unfortunately for VC, our following rides were only after we’d ridden the impossibly smooth-as-butter Iron Gwazi (IG) which then seemed to highlight an unfortunate truth for VC: by RMC-hybrid standards, VC is noticeably rattlier in the back. Our third ride on VC, also at the back, was (in that moment) very disappointing in the wake of the (in that moment) clearly superior IG. Yet, our fourth and final ride on VC, once more in the front, provided a great experience. “Redeemed”, Mrs. Nitefly cheerfully concluded on the break run.

Of the three, I find VC the hardest to place in my personal rankings. It’s undeniably awesome, truly one of my favourites, but at these tip top ‘best of the best’ levels, I do find myself mindful of the (relative to the RMC hybrids) noticeable and occasionally uncomfortable back-of-train rattle. It’s a bit like knowing how good Hyperion can be and then having a ****, rattly ride on Hyperion's wing seat. It’s just a bit disappointing, you know? VC is nowhere near that rattly, thankfully, but you get the point. With that said, I can't overlook the fact that we were pretty burned out for those back seat rides.

Separately, I don’t know how I feel about the mid-coaster launch. Whizzing up passed the waterfall is probably the best bit on Taron, but on VC the second launch creates a clear divide between the first half (good) and the second half (great). Do I want my ideal coaster to have ‘better bits’? Hmm. I do nevertheless like the variety of the sections, so I guess it’s much of a muchness.

How you will rank VC will probably depend on:

• Your ability to be wowed by theming and presentation.
• Whether having the variety of the ‘two halves’ is a ‘pro’.
• Whether you prefer a shorter but more consistent ride.
• Your ability to forget that a beautifully smooth RMC hybrid exists just down the road.

(Oh, and don’t you worry, other more rattly rides are going to face my wrath this time around…)

Iron Gwazi

It was the long awaited opening of IG that prompted this entire trip (well, that and travel restrictions easing). And let me you… when you arrive at Busch Gardens and see that IG train crest the lift hill in the distance, it’s almost impossible not to think “**** yesssssssss!”:

"Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god"

There is something very ‘Frankenstein’s monster’-esque about RMC hybrids and the jarring way the wood and metal sits together. Look at that glorious zero car and the popping purple track *gasp*! As an enthusiast, IG is just downright porn-y. Not that there is much opportunity for taking lewd photos though; it’s actually very difficult to take any decent photos of the ride at all. All you really get from the adjacent walkways is the below view from the front, although the view of IG from SheiKra’s lift hill is pretty amazing.

(The tree is there because otherwise this photo would be NSFW)

When it comes to theming, IG's is very light sparse compared to VC, but it's absolutely fine. The zero car and green/purple scheme were all that I needed. I was quite partial to this 'comic book filter' snap of the snapper.

Also, unlike VC, IG had relatively terrible operations - at least 2 minutes from unload to dispatch. Yikes. I know that the RMC trains require double-checks because of the seatbelts, but IG was probably running 500 riders per hour, if that. None of that really mattered though, because of the ride experience. Oh, boy...

WHAT A ****ING RIDE. YES! IG powers round the track like a fighter jet made of biceps (flown by a pilot fuelled by powerthirst). It is just so ****ing good. If you enjoy Zadra, then you'll know the premium ballpark we're talking here. Thrilling, gravity defying, violent AND smooth (in all the right ways). After one ride, I suspected that I had a new number one on the cards and by the second ride, both Mrs. Nitefly and I were convinced and both put Iron Gwazi as our new top coaster

The whole of IG is like the second half of VC, but even more turbo. The first drop is absolutely ridiculous. I have heard many you-tubers say that they could feel the beyond vertical nature of this drop, even though its by a single degree and, you know what, I agree. This thing absolutely launches you out of your seat. As a sense check, this drop is taller and steeper than Oblivion at Alton Towers without OTSRs. But IG is only just getting warmed up... and it then blitzes through the following elements and more:

- The outer-bank. What even I just can't.
- The death roll. Somehow this retains the weightlessness of VC's and Zadra's stalls whilst adding in a wicked whipping spin. Awesome.
- The wave-turn / twist and shout. Whatever the name is for the element that goes behind the station (that you can see in the above photo). The sideways airtime is outrageous and this probably my favourite moment of the whole ride.
- The stall. This is good but not as good as the other moments on this list. IG possibly just takes this too fast, but I do much prefer the stalls on Zadra and VC, so I'm only really mentioning it here to express that view.
- The ending airtime hills. Post-stall, IG somehow gets even more insane. These hills are violent to the point where I had to ride them defensively by going on tip-toes (so as to raise my legs to the lapbar). I honestly thought from POVs that IG was running out of steam by this point but I was completely wrong.

For a fair visual representation and reaction to all of this, see here.

Sure, it's great, but is iG remarkably better than Zadra? Well, I would say it's in the same ballpark. I could foresee someone preferring Zadra, if that met their preferences. To my mind though, Iron Gwazi has more memorable moments and it's chaotic layout has more character (whereas Zadra has a more methodical 'out-and-back x2' feel to it). Plus, that colour scheme and zero car are just too funky. I love it. Bravo *claps*

I managed to get 10 rides in on Iron Gwazi, including some night rides (in the rain - after it has just reopened post-thunderstorm, without it's light package). Here, you can see our own private chariot just before we rode alone by ourselves in the front row, which was very surreal.

By this point in my journey, my feet were so ****ed I had bought (and was wearing) a pair of Crocs to ease the pain. Ascending up Iron Gwazi's lift hill, I realised that I had embraced my inner crocodilian and achieved full Croc-ception.

The battle isn't quite over yet though...

Hagrid's Magical Creatures Motorbike Adventure

This one doesn't warrant quite as much compare and contrast because it competes on a different playing field from the other two. Hagrid's may well be the most complicated rollercoaster on the planet, but what really impresses me is that it's proof that a ride doesn't need insane inversions or gravity defying airtime to be good. It just needs to be fun. And Hagrid's is just mind-meltingly, stupidly fun. As in, 'it will put a big dumb grin on your face for hours' fun. Liberatingly fun.

I would completely agree with the notion that Hagrid's pushes the boundaries of a family coaster. I was actually quite taken aback by how thrilling it was. Those launches are not pathetic, disappointing Mack launches, but exciting and moderately forceful Intimin launches, which break up sections of decent, enjoyable coaster in its own right. It's shocking because it simply didn't need to be this good. It could have been half as good and still be brilliant. But no, they decided to make it one of the best rides and rollercoasters out there.

Hagrid's also has something in bucketloads that VC and IG both lack: feel good charm. The sort of charm that Splash Mountain has, which can only be conjured by immersion and an extended ride duration. At which point, Hagrid's is over 5,000 ft and almost 3 minutes long. On every level, it's extremely impressive.

Then we have the ride vehicles: there's a bike and a sidecar. Clearly, the bike is the seat to be in as it's really fun to lean into those corners and the wind as you launch. But the whole experience is so remarkable it's equally fun to see your riding partner have the time of their life on the bike.

The real cherry on the cake though is the night rides, where the track is lit up by headlamps from the bikes. This elevates the ride dramatically, even mid-train in the sidecar. Mrs. Nitefly and I were both desperate to have a bike ride at night each and (on our first night ride) I did offer to take the mid-train bike (so she could potentially get the front bike for next time)... but then the planets aligned for our final ride: I lucked out and got the front row bike. This was unimaginably good. Totally ineffable. So good, I was once again questioning whether I had a new number one (above IG). Regardless of where the coaster sits, this front-row-bike-night-ride is at very least on par with the best ride I have ever had on a roller coaster (if not the very best ride).

Whilst I don't think I can quite base my ranking on that one, time specific 'magic seat', Hagrid's remains a statement of a ride. A true accomplishment and easily one of my favourite rollercoasters. It may well be the case that the novelty and thrill wears out over the years but, for now at least, I'm of the view that Hagrid's is the best ride at IOA. However, I think this may have something to do with IG offering me a more satisfactory experience than VC, evidencing how your view of a particular coaster may be indirectly impacted by your views of another.

Regardless of personal rankings, these are all truly exceptional rides and I'm grateful as an enthusiast that things just seem to be getting better and better.

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Islands of Adventure coming up next. Thanks for reading.

 

[Matt N]

Great reports so far @Nitefly; between your report and the current Florida trip reports by @HeartlineCoaster, @Serena and others remind me that I really need a revisit to the area, having last visited Universal, SeaWorld and Busch in 2016 and Disney in 2019!

I’m glad to hear that Iron Gwazi wowed you both so much, and I’m gratified to hear your review of Hagrid’s too! I’m not sure if you’d think this is the case as someone who’s ridden it, but as someone who personally values fun and rerideability in a coaster over out and out intensity, and as someone who likes my favourite coasters to strike the right balance between thrill and rerideability, I think Hagrid’s sounds right up my alley!

However, I must ask; would I be correct in inferring that you were perhaps a touch underwhelmed by VelociCoaster? While you still talk positively about it, you don’t seem quite as enamoured with it as you are with the other 2, leading me to think that you may have been a bit disappointed by it. Would I be correct there, or is it a case of you having been blown away by it, but simply less blown away by it than by the other two?

I look forward to the rest of these reports!

 

[Nitefly]

Thanks, @Matt N. I wouldn't go so far to say that I was 'underwhelmed' by VC. Distilling it to bulletpoints:

• The first half of VC met my expectations.
• The second half of VC exceeded my expectations. The finale over the water and into the break run is exceptional.
• A good ride on VC is great.
• I always expected to prefer IG over VC.
• I was disappointed that VC ran notably rattlier in the rear. IG really hammered this point home for me, since it's more aggressive than VC yet IG remains beautifully smooth.
• I much prefer VC to Taron.
• IG, VC and Hagrid's are all entering my top 10.

 

[Nitefly]

Part 3 - Islands of Adventure

With IOA right on our doorstep, starting our tour here (on our first full day) was obvious. We arose super early like excited children on Christmas Day and made the short walk over to begin one of the greatest theme park outings in Nitefly history.

Despite being very familiar with the park as a whole, we both found ourselves in humbled awe as we entered. As soon as you approach the turnstiles, you’re hit by some of the best and most warming theme park music that there has ever been. Now, I am a big softy and many things can make me well up: sad films, photographs of happy times, putting on the washing machine and then looking down to see a sock on the floor that didn’t make it in. But, oh, that glorious ‘Port of Entry’ music really does hit me right in the feels. It perfectly captures that feeling of awakening from a deep sleep, feeling the sun shining on your face and beginning what you know is going to be a truly beautiful and magical day (*sob*).

Then, the entrance archway greets you with a timeless, memorable message:

What an opening.

Upon reflection, I think our familiarity with IOA may have helped make it seem more impressive than ever before. The collection of rides here is obviously world class, but the anticipation for the same can easily draw your attention away from the phenomenal theming found throughout. On this trip, our eyes were seemingly more receptive to IOA’s visual feast and we took great enjoyment from our surroundings. For example, if you remember ‘look up and around’ when walking through the ‘Port of Entry’ you’ll see all sorts of cool features, including a neat rotating windmill, which are really easy to miss amongst all the excitement.

I was still prone to being impressed by bombast though, as ever. Seeing the lagoon revealed set my heart aflutter as it always had. Goodness, look at Hulk! Wow! There was little time for dallying though, as our first stop on that morning was Hagrid’s for the very first time.

Our extended early entry queue for Hagrid’s started in the ‘Lost Continent’, in the section that previously housed the now-extinct Sinbad stunt show. Of all places, it was here that IOA’s theming really blew me away. In this most forgotten and irrelevant corner, IOA remained stunning. Taking this section with the impressive area housing the Mythos restaurant and Poseidon’s Fury, the ‘Lost Continent’ really does gives Hogsmeade a run for its money as the most visually impressive area of the park.

As we made five separate trips into IOA over our holiday, it makes sense to now tackle it geographically rather than chronologically, so I’ll keep with the ‘Lost Continent’ and will wrap around clockwise.

The ‘Lost Continent’ is the most attraction barren out of the various islands and, really, the impressive visuals and food offerings are all it has. To my surprise, the often-closed Poseidon’s Fury (i.e. the only ‘attraction’ aside from the talking fountain) was actually open, so we decided to check it out. I did remember this being a bit naff from my teenage years and could vaguely recall dubbing it a name that really caught the zeitgeist of the experience. As soon as we were led into the first room, I finally remembered: “Oh god…… it’s Poo-seidon”.

To be fair to Poo-seidon, the guide that led us through the experience was actually pretty funny considering what he had to work with. But not even the ultra-impressive ‘whirlpool’ water tunnel could prevent the experience from feeling very half-baked and ultimately a bit embarrassing. The acting and dialogue of all of the screen based characters was abysmal: hammy and cheesy beyond belief, yet also lacking the charm or humour that may have redeemed the experience into a tasty ‘croque monsieur’. Even the water and flame effects were unimpressive.

“What did you think of Poo-seidon?”, I asked Mrs. Nitefly afterwards.
“****-seidon”, she replied.

We dined at the Mythos restaurant for the first time on this trip (during out first day’s visit), drawn in by the hype from all of the various awards it has won over the years. For some reason, I was expecting something far beyond a typical theme-park table service affair. The food, drinks and service were all OK and the views and air conditioning were pleasant. But that’s all.

Moving round to ‘Suess Landing’, I have little to say as we skipped the attractions in this area entirely (having done them all before). The One Fish, Two Fish ride is good fun, but the other attractions are passable. I do like that there are little signs and details to read all over the place, but I’ve never really dug the Dr. Suess theme as a whole. It’s OK. The only thing about the area that causes actual annoyance is that obnoxious music that sounds like it should play over twee videos of ‘adorable animals being silly’ (from a phone belonging to a person that is kept as far away from me as possible, preferably at the bottom of the sea, without air).

Things really kick off when we roll around to ‘Marvel Superhero Island’, which is a blast. Its aesthetic has more of a goofy ‘Saturday morning cartoon’-vibe than anything more brooding or adult, probably down to this coming to life in the 90s prior to the bombardment of the MCU. Yet, it really captures that feeling of action that is so attractive and compelling to a growing mind (beyond the gentler nature of the Disney parks). It really does take you back to that mindset, as others have handsomely suggested. I bet Disney absolutely detest this area still existing.

Spiderman is bottled lightening. Everything about it is wonderful: the animation in the queue, the humour, the clever blending of sets and screens (particularly that ‘fireball’ effect) and the sense of illusion. That moment where you get ‘elevated up into the air’ remains an impressive piece of trickery. One thing I’m not sure of is whether the 3D glasses on Spiderman are a little chunkier than on Transformers (and other similar rides), as this would undoubtedly help the experience by ‘boxing in’ your vision, particularly for a glasses wearer. Of note, our ride on this really showed me the importance of good riding companions, as we were joined by two enthusiastic families that were equally pumped up for the experience but knew the ride required a ‘willingness to enjoy’ and ‘immersion’ to allow it to hit home. Our experience was shared, like fans at a concert. We all shrieked, squealed and laughed together throughout. Our car was absolutely roaring with applause before the operations team were in sight to encouraged us to clap. Probably one of my favourite ride experiences ever. Minor updates aside, it’s remarkable that this ride system is over 20 years old, yet can still delight guests to that degree.

Dr. Doom is fun. It’s not very intense, but it doesn’t need to be. But one intense thing that I was very much looking forward to was the Incredible Hulk. I have always loved the Hulk and its imposing looks set against the lagoon. Upon my last visit to Florida in 2018, it was my favourite coaster and it had since continued to be a staple of my top 10. Of course, we would need to tackle this beast in the front row. I was however rather tired of being the designated ‘front row’ requestor, so I informed Mrs. Nitefly that it was her job this time.

“You need to quickly say: ‘Sorry to bother you but may we please wait for the front row? We really don’t mind’ - that’s the best phrase.”

Mrs. Nitefly nodded in agreement. Soon, we were at the station and Mrs. Nitefly’s moment had came. I stood behind her, relieved that the torch had been passed, for once.

“How many?” said the attendant.
“Two” said Mrs. Nitefly.
“Row 6” said the attendant.
“OK” said Mrs. Nitefly, who then walked off and stood in row 6.

“…. what the **** was that?!”, I sulked, as I joined her.
“There was no opportunity to ask’”, she shrugged.
“********. Absolute ****ing ********.”

The day was going so well, but now Mrs. Nitefly had completely ruined the whole trip. We were now sat mid-****ing train, like idiots. I made a mental note to never forgive Mrs. Nitefly, as our train began to ascend the lift hill.

The higher powers presumably decided to punish me for being an absolute ****, because my row 6 outer-seat ride on Hulk was genuinely one of the most unpleasant, head-ache inducing rides I have ever had on any coaster. We’re talking Infusion-levels of skull juddering here. I couldn’t wait for it to end. “Pretty good! See it was fine!” - chirped Mrs. Nitefly from her seemingly less-rattly inner seat, on the break-run. “Bleurghghgh”, I replied (very groggily). What a horrible disappointment! We did nevertheless give hulk a second chance on subsequent visit.

“How many?” said the attendant.
“Two - sorry to bother you but may we please wait for the front row? We really don’t mind”, I said.
“That’s absolutely fine, wait over there” said the attendant.
“Thanks so much!”, I said.

As we waited, Frodo did her best to avoid the eye(s) of Sauron.

The ride was thankfully much better, but still quite juddery which was quite unpleasant when being subject to these sorts of positive forces. It’s such a shame! Of all the layouts these B&M loopers have, Hulk is the least formulaic and perhaps the best. The sad truth is, this is simply an outdated ride model and train design, totally outclassed by modern releases which are superior in almost every single way. Hulk, it is with great disappointment that you are hereby banished from my top 10.

You still look good though.

Moving round again we get to 'Toon-lagoon', based on old comic-strip characters that most of us have never heard of. I quite like it, but it is a really bizarre theme. I wouldn’t be surprised if it gets transformed into a Spongebob area in the future. Theming aside, it’s home to surely one of the best water rides in the business: Popeye and Bluto's Bilge-Rat Barges. This ****ing ride. It’s merciless! It flat out does not give a ****. Oh, so you wanted a water ride did you?! YOU WANTED TO GET WET, DID YOU!?!?! AH-HAHAHA!!!

PopEye will simply destroy anything you’re wearing (particularly your shoes). Not even a poncho can save you. In fact, it’s so aggressive, we went on in flip flops and in swimwear. At one instance, my ***** were just completely submerged as the water refused to drain from the seats. Thankfully, the bag hold section in the middle of each raft is really good at keeping things dry (assuming it has been previously closed properly). If you can adapt to this level of soaking, PopEye is a riot. Raft rides done well are some of the most fun you can have in a theme park, due to the interaction you have with other guests. Across our two rides, we were all equally bemused and terrified of the Jigsaw-trap like treatment that PopEye delivers. 10/10. As a minor aside, it was a little sad that some of the animatronics on this ride were out of commission, but hopefully they can fix those in the future.

Nearby, Dudley Doo-Right’s Ripsaw Falls provides a very impressive offside spectacle. On ride, it’s certainly fun, but from a 'dark ride'-perspective it's nowhere near as well executed as Splash Mountain. By those standards, DDRF feels a little amateurish, as some of the areas you travel through are totally barren. If you can get over the Splash Mountain comparison, it’s still a good time in its own right. You get totally soaked in the front seats, which just so happened to be where Mrs. Nitefly and I were sat. After each drop, from no matter how high, a wave would rise up and dunk into the log, right onto my legs - it was ridiculous. But perhaps more fun than the ride is the set of ‘soaker hoses’ that you can use to attack unsuspecting riders from the nearby bridge. At the time of our visit, hose number 2 was totally broken and about twice as aggressive as the others, so I recommend going with that one.

Here's a snap of something quite cool I saw in the DDRF queue (albeit very faded): "Islands of Mis-Adventure".

Next, 'Skull Island' (really just an annex to Jurassic Park) featuring Reign of Kong. This ride looks very impressive from the outside and the queue is also quite good, but the experience is simply OK. It’s far better than the similar ‘Fast and the Furious’ attraction that can be found next door over in Universal Studios, but that’s not saying much. It’s just a huge mistake to have the screen not fully cover the vehicle. Sitting at the sides, you can see the edges of the screen, which stops it from being immersive (or at least forces you to look away at the furthest screen). It’s still possible to have fun, if you set your expectations low. Unlike Spiderman, nobody clapped when our vehicle returned to the station (despite the attendants giving us a round of applause, which was a little awkward).

'Jurassic Park' is our penultimate stop.

IOA excels at archways.

I’ve already talked about VC at length, which is fantastic. The other ‘major’ attraction is the Jurassic Park River Adventure. It’s OK but it’s surely going to be getting a substantial Jurassic World overlay soon, because it’s in a very poor state of repair. Most notably, the gates no longer open to welcome you into the park and the first dinosaur you encounter (a brachiosaur-type) is even more broken than it was on my last visit in 2018. Its neck is all twisted and it can barely move. Honestly, it looks like it needs putting down. Upon seeing this pathetic and unfortunate dino accompanied by the triumphant John Williams music, we got the giggles, which were made harder to contain by the stoic reactions from the remainder of our vehicle.

There are a few other minor attractions in Jurassic Park: the interactive displays in the discovery centre, the raptor encounter, the ‘impossible-to-ride-without-a-child’ Pteranodon Flyers and a decent playground area called Camp Jurassic, which is easy to miss but worth a look. The merch shops in this area are also particularly good. We also had a pint of Isla Nublar IPA, which was actually quite tasty!

This seems like a good point to raise one of my grips with IOA: I do dislike the abundance of ugly ‘win a prize’ stalls, which most obviously blight Jurassic Park. It’s just feels a bit ‘cheap’, as if the executives looked around at what other (lesser) parks had done, then stood on the shoulders of geniuses that created IOA to accomplish a quick buck as fast as they could - before they even knew what they had to work with, they patented it, packaged it, slapped the name on a cheap sideshow attraction, and now *bangs on the table* they’re selling it.

VC queue-goodness.

Finally, 'Hogsmeade'. OooooOOOoOOoooo - wingardium leviosarrrrrrrrrrrrr. For many people, the compulsive must do activity upon entering these Harry Potter areas is grabbing a Butterbeer. But for the Niteflys, it’s mostly just doing this. The theming here remains very impressive, second perhaps to only Rookburgh, but there are two inescapable issues:

1. These are some of the busiest areas in any theme park and there are some relatively narrow walkways dealing with the crowds.
2. The Harry Potter areas are mostly giant tat-shops, for all your consumer buying needs (although this is more true for Diagon Alley than Hogsmeade). This is more noticeable upon repeat visits.

We therefore did not dwell in Hogsmeade for very long, but certainly got our quota of Potter-based rides. I’ve already praised the wonderful Hagrid’s in the previous post, so onto the others. Hippogriff (which was our first roller coaster together) was a mild romp. Meanwhile, Forbidden Journey is still a fun ride but it lacks the easy riding and therefore the relaxed fun factor of SpiderMan. It’s rightly known for causing motion sickness and is certainly not one for repeated attempts in quick succession. I cannot image how horrendous the version with 3D glasses was at Universal Studios Hollywood. This time, I was disappointed that the impressive whomping willow animatronic was completely stationery and that the lighting seemed to be up a lot higher than before, which made the whole thing less immersive. The most notable thing about the ride was probably the clowns who shared our ride vehicle (admittedly one was a child, so I’m mostly aiming my wrath at the mindless parent). We boarded as a four (for seats 1-4) and they both sat in the middle seats (2 and 3), prompting disbelief and a request to move over. Then, only one of them moved seats to an edge, so they were now sat in seats 2 and 4. ****ing hell. We eventually got them to move into seats 3 and 4. After the ride, they sped off the unload platform without apology. “Avada Kedavra”, I hissed after them.

In conclusion, with VC and Hagrid’s now bolstering the already impressive line-up, IOA is surely one of the best parks going. It has the theming, the ride hardware and the variety to please almost everyone, with only young children obviously faring far better at the Disney parks. It’s pretty much impossible to not be wow-ed. A huge accomplishment of a park and a wonderful time.

Having had our first-day fill of IOA, Mrs. Nitefly and I then took the Hogwarts Express over to Universal Studios to enjoy the evening. What delights would await us there.....? Stay tuned.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Nitefly]

Part 4 - Universal Studios

In a very ‘human’ sort of way, I think Universal Studios Orlando (USO) is a park that has really had to ‘go there to come back’. Once upon a time, it was supported by many practical-effects-filled attractions like Kongfrontation, Jaws and Earthquake. How we all long for those days in this heavily-screen-based era. Whilst I have no actual knowledge of USO’s intended strategy, I anticipate (or would at least like to think) that the dismal reception to the ‘Fast and the Furious: Surpercharged’, truly an awful attraction, caused the park to sit up and realise the state of play, like a person realising that they have hit rock bottom.

“What have I done?! Who am I?” - howls USO in despair, as it stares at its own reflection via the cracked bathroom mirror within its trashed hotel room. “I need help - oh god, I need help.”

When someone has really let themselves go, sometimes you have to remember your own failings, suppress your anger and allow that person to get back on track. With that in mind, I embrace the fragile, broken USO with with a loving hug: “It’s OK. It’ll be OK. I’m here.”

If I choose to look away from its mistakes (which I admit does require a spend of energy) there is actually a lot going for USO. It’s a big park, with a variety of offerings and some wonderfully wide walkways (the latter of which is much welcome after Hogsmeade and some of the other more claustrophobic parts of IOA). It just feels like there is so much room to breathe in USO. Speaking of which, USO was well kept and seemingly devoid of any smelly areas, otherwise commonplace on this trip (particularly in IOA) which we eventually dubbed as being ‘pockets of guff’.

With some considered decision making and hard work, I can foresee a bright and happy future for this park. Unfortunately, we would be visiting USO in the now, but that was fine. We had low expectations and were happy to take it all as it was. Of course, seeing the Hogwarts Express arrive in Hogsmeade (within IOA) is always exciting.

Yeeeeah!

We merrily boarded our train cabin, full of silent, serious adults and one young, shy child. Conversing in this solemn environment made us feel like naughty school children and we were reduced to hushed, barely-audible whispers. Fortunately we were soon on our way to Kings Cross station (within USO). At the beginning of our journey Hagrid waved us off, causing the shy child to enthusiastically wave back unprompted. This was possibly one of the most heartwarming things I’ve ever seen and a reminder that there were (probably) many childhood defining moments going on all around me. I thoroughly enjoyed the the Hogwarts Express, until the Knight Bus showed up and brought jarring music along with it.

Our first stop in Universal Studios was Escape from Gringrotts within Diagon Alley. Our first visit to this area, many years ago, caused gasps of excitement and a desire to explore every single nook and cranny. With everything previously explored and heavy crowds, there was no appetite to hang about. As mentioned, Diagon Alley is more of a shopping experience than anything else and there is really only so much one can be exposed to such large volumes of useless paraphenalia. Still, it prompts (as always) a discussion as to which Harry Potter ‘house’ we both belonged. Mrs. Nitefly gleefully declared herself a Hufflepuff and was kind enough to suggest that I was, in fact, a Gryffindor. However, I had a nagging feeling that I didn’t belong in any of them, as I have for many years. I can see the inscription on my headstone quite clearly: “Here lies Nitefly. He spent his entire life agonising over which Harry Potter house he belonged to. He never decided.”

Escape from Gringrotts was better than I remembered. Previously I had always been a little underwhelmed by the weak roller coaster segments and naff screen sections, but for whatever reason (probably a lack of enthusiasm) the whole caught me off guard and I had a lot of fun. The pre-show remains as confusing as ever though, with its strange and jilted dialogue. Even watching it back on YouTube, I still don’t really understand it.

Then, Men in Black was far better than I remembered and a reminder that USO actually does have some strong attractions. Even before the ride begins, there is a pleasing ‘dos and don’ts’ instructional video starring Do-Right and Doofus, prompting guests to be considerate of one another. “What an inconsiderate Doofus!!” remarks the narrator, knowingly. The ride itself is chock full of animatronics and the offload platform is amusing with it’s post-neuralyser slogan: “Are we alone…? Of course we are!”. Great.

We skipped over the Simpsons section (all done before) and made our way to another sleeper hit of our visit, ET. The introduction by Speilberg himself is certainly very odd, time-stamping ET to the park’s opening years, but post-FATF:S the ride’s basic charm is more present than ever. My main observation was that the dated sets are nevertheless still huge, which makes ET feel impressive when taken as a whole. This is pretty much the complete opposite of Peter Pan’s flight over in Magic Kingdom which is a far smaller ride-system but feels quite intimate throughout. It’s interesting how two broadly similar rides can be so different in execution yet each retain a charm that couldn’t necessarily be recaptured if you rebuilt them today from scratch.

Adjacent to ET is an area containing a pets-based stage show, Fievel’s playground (which is absurdly outdated in theme - I was barely old enough for that when I was a child), a kid’s coaster themed to the world’s worst cartoon character Woody Woodpecker, plus another showbuilding temporarily housing some character meet and greets. Together with the wider Simpsons area, I think there is scope for substantial redevelopment around here in upcoming years.

The Bourne Stuntacular was new for us and something we were keen to experience, even though I am quite cool to that franchise and genre as a whole. During the pre-show, it was difficult to contain my giggles of laughter as the phrases “joyless” and “it just reminded me of work” kept bouncing around my mind, prompting the adjacent guests to wonder what my problem was (so I imagine). Due to quite low expectations set amongst perpetual internal amusement (“joyless… like work… like work”) I ended up enjoying myself. The special effects and fight choreography were impressive even when sat quite close to the stage and, as I had hoped, there were a couple of double-take moments where I had to sense-check what had happened. I do think some sections whole would work best sat far away from the stage, so try for that if you can.

Towards the front of the park was Hollywood Rip-Ride-Rocket, the only ‘major’ rollercoaster in operation with the excellent Revenge of the Mummy very sadly out of action on this visit. Mrs. Nitefly and I both picked Hella Good by No Doubt as our ride soundtrack, quite independently, and then danced like idiots throughout in a desperate effort to have fun. Whilst there is undeniably some novelty and merit to being encourage to bust shapes on a ride, this is an absolutely terrible roller coaster, truly awful for all save for those who want break runs and uncomfortable positive G served up with an enormous portion of nothing of all. My two word review is ‘**** Rocket’. Knock it down.

Our final ride was Transformers. If you’re too conscious of yourself, it’s easy to find this more ‘stop-start’ than the superior Spiderman next-door (robots fight, move, robots fight, move etc), plus there is something about that humourless, military-style theme and queue line that leaves me really cold. But the ride itself was a pleasant surprise and on our first attempt gave much unintended amusement. Sort of.

“FOOLS! YOU CAN’T ESCAPE MEGATRON”, said Megatron dramatically, immediately before he awkwardly glitched off-screen as the ride shut down. We were stationery for about 15 minutes and unfortunately, unlike Spiderman, our riding companions were irritating. In particular, the teenager sat next to me had really bad B.O. and the jokes generously offered by others to pass the time were mind-meltingly tedious (such as “we need to transform off this ride!” - which inexplicably caused much laughter, even though it didn’t make any ****ing sense). I found myself attempting to join-in through desperation. “Sooo…. we’re going to be EVAC-ed off EVAC - it’s like they knew”, I said to no one in particular, causing the most deafening, awkward silence of disapproval. Even Mrs. Nitefly was looking away. I sulked away internally, as the inane conversation eventually resumed. I felt like Neal Page.

Eventually there was movement as our vehicle completed the course in some sort of ‘evacuation safety mode’, which offered an absolutely fascinating tour of the ride and its mechanisms. In particular, we observed that there are two huge lifts that transport guests down a level during the final sections (presumable to simulate the feeling of 'dropping'), which I had no idea about. Very cool.

We finished off USO with the Mardi Gras parade, in which beads were thrown to guests from various impressive well-decorated floats, accompanied by sexy strutting dancers who were gyrating hypnotically to the pumping music. I’m typically allergic to any sort of in-park entertainment but this was a lot of fun and, naturally, a competition silently commenced between Mrs. Nitefly and I as to who could catch the most beads. She won and was very pleased with herself, although in a roundabout way somehow I feel like we both won.

Truly exhausted from our epic day, we opted to take the boat transport back to our on-site hotel, which passes adjacent to the walkway which we otherwise would have walked. The boat chugs along at a fast-walk pace, but in a straight line compared to the meandering path. On our journey, amongst the walking crowds I noticed that a young boy (perhaps aged 7-10) was running alongside our boat. “Hey….. he’s racing us!” I thought.

“COME ON - YOU CAN DOOOO ITTTTT!!”, I cheered, as the rest of the boat took notice. Further to my irresponsible encouragement, our whole boat then began to chant and join in, prompting a burst of energy from our competitor. This kid was now flying! “COME OOOOOOON!” we all wailed, as he raced along, far out of the view of his parents. We managed to get him to run back almost the whole way, but ultimately he collapsed into a ball of spent energy, prompting a roaring round of applause from the boat for his gallant, motion-picture-inspiring effort. God…. he must have got into such trouble. Totally worth it though.

In conclusion, USO is a park that feels like it’s ripe for a triumphant comeback. With just a few sensible decisions and deliberate rebalancing, I can really see it bouncing back in a big way in the next 10 or so years. It’s certainly a comeback that I really want it to make.

In the next instalment, Mrs. Nitefly and I tackle one of our most anticipated parks: Hollywood Studios.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Matt N]

Great reports so far @Nitefly; can't wait to see what else you got up to on your trip!

Universal Studios Florida is an interesting one, because a lot of people don't seem to overly rate it these days, but I still absolutely loved it back in 2016; still my #3 park! Admittedly, that was before F&F and Fallon opened, but I'm not sure if that would make much of a difference for me.

I also remember liking HRRR a lot more than you seemed to, although my love for it admittedly waned a fair amount when I rerode it in 2016. In 2014, it blew me away and was one of my favourite coasters ever (probably #2 behind Swarm at the time), but it didn't seem to have quite the same impact in 2016; I liked it, but I didn't love it, for some reason. That might be coloured by the fact that I rode Mako, which in my opinion did the whole "non-inverting airtime machine" thing a lot better than HRRR, in the same trip, but I did ride HRRR before I did Mako for the first time, so I'm not sure. Regardless, though, I'm sad to hear that you guys didn't especially rate it; even in 2016, I still quite liked it, and thought it had some fair airtime in places, as well as fun transitions, while not being overly rough, from memory (albeit I'll admit that it had a definite rattle that detracted a tad for me).

I look forward to hearing about the rest of your trip!

 

[Nitefly]

Part 5 - Hollywood Studios

“Like this…?” *swipe*…..*swipe*…..*swipe*…..*swipe*…..
“No! That’s completely wrong. Like this.” *swipe*.*swipe*.*swipe*.*swipe*…..
“OK…” *swipe*...*swipe*...*swipe*...*swipe*…

I smiled weakly, barely able to contain my despair.

“Just do your best.”

It was 06:57 and my training of Mrs. Nitefly to get our Slinky Dog Dash Genie Plus reservation had reached its end. She was logged into the ‘My Disney Experience’ app on her phone, whilst I was on likewise mine (on ‘Rise of the Resistance duty’). If Mrs. Nitefly couldn’t secure the Slinky Dog reservation, the whole strategy would dramatically change and we’d become…. inefficient *shudder*.

There was a deafening silence as we then focussed on our respective tasks. I secured our Rise of Resistance slot for noon, as planned, and waited to hear the presumably bad news.

“I got... Slinky Dog Dash... for 09:00”, said Mrs. Nitefly, sheepishly and totally unaware of how much she had just exceeded all hopes and dreams.
“…. YOU ****ING BEAUTY!!!", I cheered gleefully. "Now let’s gogogogogooooooo!!!!!”

I often cannot resist going full turbo on strategy, to the point of acknowledging that it can sometimes be more harmful than good. But when it comes to a park like Hollywood Studios, I’m not going to mess around. Hollywood Studios is notorious for its miserable queues and we would be attacking it on a Saturday... in the Spring Break period. With Tower of Terror on half capacity and the new Genie Plus system to tackle, this was going to be a tough cookie to do well. There was no other way: I would have to pop a wheelie from start to finish. “Challenge accepted”, I thought.

“But Nitefly! Something is quite awry with this recollection”, I hear you cry. “You’re staying at a Universal Hotel and therefore as an offsite (non-Disney Hotel) guest you cannot book Rise of the Resistance until park opening…?!”

This is where my commitment to strategy goes totally overboard and it's possible that you may now recoil (as if what I’m about to say was a heinous act of a tragic Sith Lord). You see, I had also booked a one night stay at Disney’s cheapest resort (the All Stars) to get the following perks: two days worth of early park entry and the ability to book the ‘individual lightning lane selections’ on those days at 07:00, before off-site guests are able. We never actually needed to visit Disney hotel though - we simply checked in online and synced the booking with out tickets on the app. This was a pricey commitment (at around £40 per person per day) but looking back it was totally worth it. If you were to deploy the same strategy for a party of four (i.e. book a room for four to get these perks), this would work out at £20 per person per day.

Hence the aforementioned "gogogogogooooooo!!!!!", as we needed to make the most of that early entry. On paper the bonus 30 minutes of ride time doesn’t sound like much but in reality it’s a massive advantage. With slot already booked for the two most popular rides in the park, we could now use this time to walk on Tower of Terror and Rock and Roller Coaster… so long as we didn’t hang around and got to the park at 08:00 (30 mins ahead of early entry time).

Arriving at Hollywood Studios felt glorious. Seeing Tower of Terror on the horizon always gives me the heebie jeebies, even as an adult, and it looked particularly magnificent against the rising sun.

Glorious.

We're in!

We entered the park headed straight for it, waiting outside for maybe 20 minutes or so until 08:30, at which point we were let in. During this wait, we had a little dance off amongst the other queuing guests, because why not. We were in ****ING DISNEY WORLD!!!! YESSSSS!!!! \o/

Hurrrrrghn!

What a phenomenal ride Tower of Terror is. It’s widely regarded as one of the best rides of all time, yet I still think it may even be a little underrated. Putting it to bullet-points:

- The theme is so ominous and strange. It really stands out. I can’t think of many other rides (other than ‘ghost trains’) where the ‘horror’ is so in your face. In the case of Alton Towers and rides like The Smiler, its more softly inferred. But here this is straight up ghost-horror. On theming, the pre-show and boiler room areas really rack up the tension and atmosphere. It feels like it could be a real basement rather than a purpose built queue area.

- It’s a short and sweet ride. No time for guest-to-guest interactions, no mid-ride queues, just short and sweet no-nonsense immersion and enjoyment *foreshadowing*.

- The first ghost show scene is so creepy and the music as you ascend up further from that point is almost unbearable. Similarly, the end of the ‘5th dimension scene’ where the lift doors light up and open is terrifying. Masterful.

- The drop tower section is sooooo good. We got sensational airtime as it rocketed up and down, far better than even your average decent coaster. On our first ride, we actually started by shooting up, which took us by surprise. On our second ride, there was a fake ending (which we’ve never had before) - we saw a split section of ending film on the ground floor, before catapulting upwards again.

We went from literal ‘highs and lows’ to just figurative ‘lows’ as we made our way over to Rock and Rollercoaster, which was around a 10 minute wait (the park hadn’t yet opened to off-site guests). This was dreadful. I’ll be fair and say that the launch sequence through the sea-serpent role is quite cool, but it’s a fairly weak launch compared to, say, Stealth. After that, the ride is very rough and very boring; so much meandering. Totally outdated and outclassed. I don’t think I’ll bother with this ever again. It’s amazing to think that this ride is newer than Tower of Terror. If the Paris version is anything like this, then re-theming it to the Avengers will be a waste of time.

We made our way up to Slinky Dog for our 09:00-10:00 reservation, just after 09:00, at which point it already had a dreadful 90 minute queue. The Disney ‘fastpass / lightening lane’ system always seems to get you on the ride immediately and there was no wait for us on this at all. This ride was new to us, as we couldn’t be bothered queuing for it last time we visited. Eh, it was alright? Take away the theming and plonk it anywhere else and it would be an OK but rather forgettable family ride. What makes the ride, other than theming, is the collective joy of everyone on the train, excited to be at Disney World and finally on the prestigious Slinky Dog Dash. It has it’s charm, but I wouldn’t say that this is worth the ludicrous wait times that it attracts. Riding at park close later on our trip, we spotted some cool theming in the standard queue line:

One we had ‘checked in’ on Slinky Dog (i.e. swiping our magic bands at all of the relevant swipe-y points) we could then book another Genie Plus selection. Mickey and Minnie’s was already typically showing 3pm but, with a bit of patience and refreshing, we managed to get a slot for 11am, another great result. That’s the thing with Genie Plus - you need to be patient and not just lunge for booking something. Sit, wait and observe. You’ll often get a far better time than was initially available. Your ability to do this quickly will decrease throughout the day, but patience always wins. Throughout our trip, I was able to book several ‘sold out’ rides using Genie Plus through perseverance, refreshing over a long period of time until I got a result. This is somewhat ‘anti-holiday’ but it can pay off well (I’ll revisit this later).

During this gap, we opted for our only ‘standard queue line’ of the day, Millennium Falcon: Smuggler’s Run, also new to us and a 50 minute wait (not too bad - it was a lot longer later in the day). The queue line was pretty fun and the large Millennium Falcon outside was undeniably cool. The ride itself was OK. It would be very good but unfortunately it has two major, major flaws (which only really came to light after our second ride later in the trip): repetition and relying on others. Our first ride through was a blast. We were instructed that we would be engineers - responsible for fixing the ship. OK, it definitely wasn’t as cool as being the pilots, but it felt like we had plenty of buttons to press and things to do. On our second ride, we were engineers again… which was totally my fault.

“Is there any “two”? We need a two!” said the ‘cast member’.
“Yes yes, right here!” I said, skipping ahead with glee.
“Alright! You two are going to be my engineers!!!”

My face of horror on realising my error was only overshadowed by Mrs. Nitefly’s face of annoyance, as it also dawned on her that I had totally ****ed it.

This second ride was one of our worst experiences on a ride ever. When it comes to video-game type activities, they come quite naturally to me. Mrs. Nitefly didn’t play video games growing up so is generally terrible, but she remains amusingly competitive. So together, we’re a team determined to do well. But on this ride, the pilots and the gunners were a family of four that mostly just ****ing watched the screen. As in, they had no interest in pressing any buttons, even after we reminded them that they needed to press them so we could get going. They sort of just opted to watch. This meant we were bouncing into everything, never shot anything, only got one capsule (rather than two) and ended up with a dreadful score. All whilst doing the exact same button pressing as before. It was incredibly painful and afterwards, we felt that we just couldn’t face queuing with the possibility of being engineers again and then being subject to the same tedium.

We then had a bit of downtime and took in Galaxy’s Edge. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I did admittedly find the aesthetics as a whole a little bland and soulless. Pandora in Animal Kingdom is more striking, whilst the Harry Potter areas at Universal feel more detailed and better-crafted, with a couple of exceptions. There is a really cool knick-knack / artefacts shop that seems to be tricky to get into, plus a quick serve location called Ronto Roasters that offered up a tasty snack:

It, uh, tasted better than it looked.

Other than the Millennium Falcon, the coolest Star Wars-related piece of scenery in Hollywood Studios is the AT-AT that’s been there outside of Star Tours for 30 years. The area next to Rise of Resistance was particularly empty, other than a couple of spacecraft that were dotted about. I do like Star Wars, but I definitely wasn’t as blown away by the aesthetics of Galaxy’s Edge as I had hoped, although it certainly looked a lot better at night (as shown on the below snaps taken on a visit later on our trip).

It was now time for Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway. I am a huge fan of the new Mickey Mouse cartoons and consider them a quantum leap forward for Disney, particularly the ‘Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse’ series, which is often sublime. I particularly like how they poke fun at Mickey and Minnie’s relationship and how healthy/unhealthy it is, plus the range of expressions on Mickey’s face, both of which are perfectly demonstrated in the first 20 seconds of this vid:

ANYWAY - expectations were therefore sky high for the new M&M ride and… unbelievably, it exceeded these expectations. Sure, the ride dramatically toned down the cartoon’s occasional ‘Ren and Stimpy’ wackiness, but the ride’s visuals, variety and tone were magnificent, capped out with a spectacular ending. It was simply a joy, a truly worthy replacement for the Great Movie Ride. It was so wonderful I found myself on the verge of tears returning to the station after our second ride (on a later visit), with the ride’s theme song “Nothing can stop us now” accompanying us to the unload platform (which becoming a common singalong for the rest of our own holiday). What a glorious, wonderful ride.

Off the back of this we hit the eagerly anticipated and much hyped Rise of the Resistance. The lightening lane entry was so quick, we didn’t stop walking until we were at the door before the pre-show section with BB8. Later on our trip, we would walk the main queue line at ride close… and what a miserably boring queue this is. There is almost nothing exciting to look at, it’s just corridors and occasional a cabinet of weapons. The Millennium Falcon queue was better. I found it a little jarring and very un-Disney. The mid-ride queue section is thankfully more interesting, with it’s ominous ‘Empire / First Alliance’ minimalism.

There was also another heart-melting ‘child does a cute thing’ moment where a young child voluntarily held his hands up for the entire section when we were being imprisoned. Bless him!

The ride itself was wholly spectacular, even though we were subject to a couple of ‘B-mode’ special effects (already noted here). Of the three runs through we had, I can say that riding the ‘front most’ of the two cars seemed to be better than the ‘rear car’ as on the former ‘route’ the AT-AT that faces you move its gun turrets to attack you, whereas the other track didn’t have an AT-AT facing you. You don’t get a choice in this unfortunately. There are many spectacular moments but for me the highlight of the ride is the transition between Kylo Ren being ‘defeated’ and entering to the ‘drop shafts’. Here, sirens are going off everywhere and a tense variation of the theme tune is playing, really giving a sense of urgency and informing you that you’re in a dire situation. It’s a brilliant piece of immersion. Of course, the drop section is dramatic and would have taken me by surprise had I not known about it in advance. So, it’s brilliant. BUT.

… ****ing people. Urgh. Look, I love everyone, but damn... you’ll have to put your guard up to being annoyed by others on Rise of the Resistance. Prepare for camera’s out everywhere, filming everything (without dimming their screens - something which should always be punishable by immediate death), listening to mostly harmless but immersion-breaking chat during the mid-ride queue section and numerous other moments of immersion breaking encouraged by the way you are shuffled amongst people before the trackless dark ride. I admit that I’m particularly sensitive to this and perhaps it is just me that seemingly much prefers the ‘sit down and STFU ‘approach to rides. I know that the prolonged pre-trackless dark ride section is supposed to be immersive, but I actually find this to be completely the opposite. All of those sections felt less exciting on re-rides too. The end result is something that is impressive, but you can’t retain a bottled lightening feeling over such long periods with so many distractions. As a result, I find myself rating RotR as the third best ride in the park, behind M&M’s and Tower of Terror. Excellent, but thwarted by the downsides of its own execution.

Post-RotR it was snack time: a Wookie Cookie and some blue slush.

This image is giving me brain-freeze.

Using Genie Plus, we then walked on Alien Swirling Saucers (which was pretty rough?) and then Star Tours, completing the Star Wars set. These days, Star Tours seems to have many different scenes and our selection (across two rides from different visits) featured Naboo, a Wookie planet, Hoth and whatever the planet was at the very end of Rise of Skywalker, with cameos from Darth Vader, Kylo Ren, Yoda and Lando. I was impressed that they had a scene from Rise of Skywalker in there, which helped the ride feel very fresh, even though the tech is quite dated by modern standards. We both decided we ultimately preferred Star Tours to Smuggler’s Run.

With the exception of Toy Story Midway Mania, which I couldn’t be arsed with, we therefore comfortably blitzed through Hollywood Studio’s ride-line up (with time for mooching around) in around 4 hours, which must surely be some sort of record… I think we got very lucky on the Genie Plus bookings, particularly that god-like Slinky Dog booking. This was an early morning visit, though. I think the absolute best strategy with Genie Plus is to line up reservations for an evening visit (rather than a morning visit). That way, we were able to book evening-reservations throughout the day for all of our favourite rides, without the exhaustingly early start (simply arriving at 6-7pm and enjoying our favourites as walk ons). Oh and that ‘closing time’ RotR queue? It was 15 minutes… nowhere near the posted 90 minute wait time. Definitely worth keeping in mind.

Some other misc. experiences / thoughts on Hollywood Studios:

- There is a section of the park, far away from Galaxy’s Edge called 'Star Wars Launch Bay'. This just seemed to be abandoned or forgotten. There was nothing in it and nothing to do. Honestly, I have no idea what they were thinking. Plenty of other guests seemed just as confused to use as to what it was supposed to be, but there was nobody around to ask. Did it used to have some meet and greets here, which they no longer run? Either way, they need to sort that out pronto and close it off.

- There was a Mickey and Minnie short called Vacation Fun, which was some new material sewing together a compilation of other episodes but still well worth a watch for fans like me. Great to get out of the heat.

- On that first visit, after all our rides, we had an absolutely fab meal in the Sci-Fi Dine-In Theatre, which was a standard burger affair with the tables resembling cars, with a 30 minute real of trailers from B-movies. This was a highlight of the day and I really recommend it. Unfortunately, it’s quite hard to get a table. I had signed up via Touring Plans to get notifications when slots become free and was able to book a table by chance just a couple of days before visiting (when someone else cancelled). Otherwise, it’s a case of booking 60 days in advance (!) or doing a walk up and hoping for the best.

Recommended.

- We did end up doing Toy Story Midway Mania on a later visit on our trip. I’m not really a fan of these ‘wii-shovelware’ type rides but of all of them, this is easily the best. I ended up beating Mrs. Nitefly on the very last screen, causing her to huff as she was in the lead by a considerable margin before. I teased her further by alluding to the impending immortalisation of her defeat on the internet.

Ah, how sweet the crop reaped from seeds long ago sown.

Closing thoughts: We had an absolute blast at Hollywood Studios and it was our most visited Disney park of the trip. With the world-class quality of the top 3 rides (ToT, M&M and RotR), I definitely think it’s possible to legitimately argue that Hollywood Studios is the very best of the four DisneyWorld parks. Sadly, because of the difficulties caused by crowds, I also think its legitimately possible to argue that it’s the very worst. There simply isn’t enough going on in the park, which can make the queuing situation really, really ugly (120+ minute queues for major rides). On busy days (like our visit), you could have an absolutely dire time without a strategy. You could stand in queues all day and not get on everything. Even though I avoided that fate, I resent the effort (and cost) necessarily to make these Genie Plus strategies work. Perhaps the ultimate strategy is to sack off Genie Plus altogether, accept the long wait times and just go with the flow? Or maybe the compromise: book a couple of reservations but don’t sweat it, “Hakuna Matata”.

If only there was a Disney World park with more rides and things to do, masterfully designed, that didn't require such reliance on Genie Plus.... now, that truly would be a towering goliath of theme-park accomplishment *Foreshadowing*

Thanks for reading.

 

[davidm]

Blimey, booking Disney hotels that you don't use just to get the hotel-perks! That sir, is exceptional work.

 

[Matt N]

Great report @Nitefly; that hotel booking is true dedication to theme parking! Did you not find it incredibly expensive for what it ultimately provided you?

Hollywood Studios is a Disney park I’d like to try again. When I last went, a significant a construction site, as Star Wars and Runaway Railway were both still under construction, so it couldn’t really fill a full day for us at the time. However, I have to say that it had some of WDW’s strongest attractions, in my opinion, and Star Wars and Railway have surely exacerbated that since my last visit; Tower of Terror was a sublime experience that I absolutely loved (easily my favourite Disney ride), Rock’n’Rollercoaster and Slinky Dog Dash were pretty good too (among WDW’s strongest attractions, in my opinion), and Star Tours wasn’t half bad either!

I look forward to the rest of your trip! Where is coming next?

 

[Nitefly]

Blimey, booking Disney hotels that you don't use just to get the hotel-perks! That sir, is exceptional work.

Well, it's certainly some sort of 'special work' - the things we do for the hobby

Great report @Nitefly; that hotel booking is true dedication to theme parking! Did you not find it incredibly expensive for what it ultimately provided you?

I look forward to the rest of your trip! Where is coming next?

As I mentioned, the cost was slightly under £40 a day per person (then add on £15 for Genie Plus, then £12.50 for the RotR 'one shot'). So let's say it was £65 per person all in for all perks. I tend to measure the cost effectiveness on a 'per hour saved' cost. At Hollywood Studios, I think it probably saved us 5-7 hours of queuing on that first day, so by that metric I think it is worth it, but it's a cost and a personal choice. Of that, I'd attribute 3-5 hours to the early entry (which includes the ability to book RotR - this was sold out well before off-site guests could book it).

The other 'silent cost' is the time-sync and 'stress' of optimising your Genie Plus reservations, but I'll take that over numerous longer queues.

As for what's next, re-read my final paragraph

 

[Nitefly]

Part 6 - Magic Kingdom

A bold but playful claim: Magic Kingdom is the best theme park in the world.

Well, of those that I’ve visited. I’m not even limiting this to being my 'favourite' park, in part as I’m not sure that it is my favourite. But it simply is the best park (he says, playfully). And with this relatively very photo-heavy blog, I’m going to do my best to justify this (playful) claim.

If all members of this forum joined forces and designed the ultimate theme park, the sum of our favourites, I’m pretty sure we’d end up with something very similar to Islands of Adventure; a beautiful park chock full of wonderful rides and sights. But Magic Kingdom is beyond an enthusiasts’ amateur hour: it feels like a park that feels like it’s been designed by professionals. Just a towering achievement of brilliance, far beyond what could ever be accomplished by, say, a ‘ride line-up’ breaking RMC, or a mighty one-two coaster-punch.

This level of religious appreciation requires two approaches:

(1) A full on, colossal rope-drop-until-close 14 hour mega day. This is something that probably sounds too exhausting to be tolerable, but we just about pulled it off unexpectedly, by changing plans mid-day and committing to the cause. As a bonus, in doing so you’ll mitigate against the notorious faff of getting to the park (which is far more exhausting when you are just nipping into the park for a few hours and have to tolerate getting to-and-from the park in quick successful).

(2) Such a mega-day is only possible if you make deliberate space beyond the rides for chilling, eating, enjoying the sights, parades, fireworks… everything.

If you do just that and play your cards just right, you’ll find yourself watching the end of night fireworks in a broken state of euphoria, joining thousands of others tearfully blurting out their joyous personal truth in a manner akin to Winston Smith, to no-one in particular:

“I love Mickey Mouse!”

***

We arrived at Magic Kingdom via the ferry boat, which I think is the only way to do it. Park your car and take a boat over a colossal man-made lake. It’s absurd and opulent, but oh… the sweet anticipation. The whole boat was crackling with excitement as we approached the dock.

"Oh my god... we're here."

Early entry made the entry made the experience far more relaxed (with fewer people) than on our second visit of the trip (at regular park-opening), so it’s well worth doing if you have the opportunity. Only Tomorrowland and Fantasy Land were available for early entry,

First off, we headed to Peter Pan’s Flight, which still retains its charm all these years later. I think of it as being similar to Alice in Wonderland at BPB, albeit shorter, less smelly and wholly devoid of drugs. Is it worth the insane day-time wait times it accrues? No. But it’s experiences like this that are the building blocks for the appreciation of the whole park. Thankfully we only waited 10 minutes, which was most pleasing considering the obscene Spring Break crowds.

We then hit The Haunted Mansion, which opened with the rest of the park, and were in the first pre-show of the day (the ‘Stretching Room’).

Now, I always thought that the stretching room was an elevator that took you down a floor, but for whatever reason the doors into the room didn’t close before the stretching sequence began, so it was very visible that we were in fact stationery the whole time. Huh. A quick Google reveals that it's the version in Disneyland that is an elevator. Aha!

THM itself is certainly great, with many memorable moments and it’s renowned ’sinister but mischievous’ tone, but I feel that the execution is now probably a little overhyped by Disney fans. There are many sections that are not significantly better than other similar spooky rides. But the ending is wonderfully mean: “Now, I will raise the safety bar…. and a ghost will follow you home! Hahahahaha!”

On the way out, I spotted a statue of Mr. Toad in the graveyard, which is a very cool Easter egg.

Right at the back.

With tummies rumbling, it was time for the first of the day’s many snacks: for breakfast, one giant funnel cake with strawberry jam and cream, from the Sleepy Hollow cafe…. each. This was totally indulgent but so worth it.

WHEN IN ROME <3

Satiated and with good spirits, we mooched over to Frontierland and enjoyed the shooting gallery, which is now free to play. I always make time for this and enjoy hitting all the targets… things like this are so wonderfully self-contained. Nothing matters in those moments but the joy of hitting those targets. I particularly like the one that makes the mine train appear.

Pow pow pow!

Onwards to the ‘wildest ride in the wilderness’, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. Like many Disney attractions, BTMR is so well known and ‘taken for granted’ that it’s really easy to forget just how sensationally themed it really is. My favourite parts are the cave on the first lift hill and the dinosaur-bone head-chopper at the very end. Just a solid, top of the class mine train. We later had a night ride, which really was absolutely spectacular with the lighting package they have.

“They’re pretty good, show us your balls!” we sang chirpily, as we hit our most anticipated ride of the park, Splash Mountain. What a ****ing awesome ride this is. It goes on forrrreverrrrrrr. The scale of it is so massive that I wonder if we’ll ever see anything build like it again. Sorry Chiapas, but Splash Mountain is still the undisputed king. I will never get to ride it again in its current form, sadly, so I wished it a fond farewell and silently thanked it for all the good memories.

During our subsequent stroll over to Tomorrowland, it was becoming apparent to me just how much of a people-eater the Magic Kingdom is. The park was absolutely rammed - more people than I have ever seen in a park - yet there was still ample space to move, benches to sit on, toilets everywhere without queues and few outrageous wait times. This was completely unlike Hollywood Studios, which was grinding to a halt with a fraction of the attendees. Very impressive.

Tomorrowland Speedway is a special ride for me and Mrs. Nitefly. On our last visit, we were able to have a very surreal zen-night-ride, which has remained a cherished memory ever since. Our day-ride was inevitably nothing of the sort: we plodded behind a very slow car on the very busy track, in the obnoxious heat amongst the petrol fumes. Meanwhile, all the children on the ride were absolutely delighted by the spectacle. I think this ageing ride has a few years in it yet.

VROOOM.

The People Mover is another much loved ride for Team Nitefly. It was closely followed by the Carousel of Progress is yet another strong ‘take a break’ experience, which rounds out the parks offerings nicely. Less enjoyable was the Astro-Orbiter, which has some of the most restrictive seating of any ride ever. I felt like a daddy-long-legs in a matchbox. The Buzz Lightyear shooting ride is likewise less exciting filler, but adds variety.

Far more exciting was Space Mountain, which turned out to be the biggest surprise of the trip. I’m shocked to say it, but this was absolutely phenomenal. There’s just something about it that exceeds the sum of its parts. We had two rides on the mega day, the first of which was on the Alpha track, where we took the back two seats (Mrs. Nitefly in the rear). Holy ****! I was getting considerable floater and Mrs. Nitefly was shrieking with surprise in the back (always a testament to a thrilling ride). The theming, duration, pacing…. Everything, was just wonderful. We had a second ride later that day on the Omega track, this time with me in the back and again it was hooning round, although I did find this noticeably rougher. We agreed that the Alpha side was smoother and there otherwise wasn’t much in it, so that was our favourite.

After these two world-class rides, I was actually considering giving Space Mountain an elite S-rank rating (amongst my very favourites). Unfortunately, our ride on a later visit to the park was nowhere near as good, as if it had slowed down considerably and become rougher. I guess it’s luck of the draw with trains, wheels, grease etc. But a good ride on Space Mountain is great. Truly remarkable and very underrated in our eyes.

Next on the snack list was a Mickey Pretzel, which resembled an experiment gone horribly wrong.

"KILLLLLL MEEEEEEEEE"

Other notable snacks from our time at Magic Kingdom included dole whip swirls and spring rolls from Adventureland, chicken strips in Tomorrowland, corn dogs from the Sleepy Holly cafe, plus ice cream and hot dogs from Main Street USA. I don’t think there is any other park that does quick server food offerings quite like Magic Kingdom. It really is very good indeed and it’s well worth scoping out what you fancy before you hit the park (to draw up a list of things to tick off).

Winnie the Pooh and Seven Dwarves Mine Train were next. These are both OK, but are nowhere near as good as other rides in the park. The standard wait times for SDMT are insane (frequently at 2 hours) and I would suggest skipping it altogether unless you opt to pay for the lightening lane as we did, in which case you’re on in 5 minutes. During this short wait, there was a very rude and unpleasant woman in the queue that was kicking off at a staff member because she couldn’t opt to sit in the front row, who eventually got her own way. Seeing things like that really **** me off. Horrid.

As we headed over towards Adventureland, I began to appreciate just how marvellous the ‘wheel with spokes’ layout of Magic Kingdom really is. There is very little tedious backtracking. I would say that Magic Kingdom has my favourite park layout by far, of any park.

Our skipper on Jungle Cruise was…. OK. Very difficult to hear what she was saying and I don’t think we were the only ones on the boat to think so. Otherwise, it seems to draw in very long waits so I’d currently prioritise this first thing if you’re not going the Genie+ route.

Our first ride on Pirates of the Caribbean was blighted by people talking throughout most of the ride behind us. I find these situations really difficult. Am I the only one bothered? Do I say something, potentially to only make it worse and more distracting for everyone else? I opted to bear it and have a second ride instead, where I could enjoy it in peace. Ahhh! POTC is a classic and in my eyes superior to it’s Europa-Park mimic. The ceilings are often curved or hidden and have impressive moving projections on them, so there is never any ugly “I’m in a square room” moments. Great ride.

We then took the time to experience what I think is the quiet and secret 'heart and soul' of Magic Kingdom: Tom Sawyer Island, followed by the Liberty River Boat. Both are absolutely delightful and completely unlike the 'noisiness' of Islands of Adventure.

Getting the ferry to Tom Sawyer Island.

The caves on Tom Sawyer Island are fun to explore and peaceful. The fort area is also great, especially when you get to shoot BTMR.

"Shoot them! Shoot them!"

I think these two experiences are why I rank Magic Kingdom so highly. Just like the gardens at Alton Towers, everything is so much better when there is the opportunity to breathe. Plus, this area of the park is absolutely beautiful during the golden hour. Some snaps:

Wonderful.

The easily missed geysers.

Up close.

Moooooose.

Peaceful shack.

Some other miscellaneous fun/pretty things at Magic Kingdom, which are easy to miss:

(1) This piano guy outside Casey’s Corner was belting out the classics. At one point he did a medley that included ‘In the Hall of the Mountain King’, which left me wondering whether it was a medley of other theme park bangers.

(2) There are some very pretty and impressive mosaics within the castle, which are easy to miss if you rush through.

(3) Also easily missed is the very pretty landscaping adjacent to Tomorrowland, which was abundant with cute ducklings (observable at the bottom of this photo) - d’awwwww!

(4) The Hall of Presidents is a brilliant ‘take-a-break’ that I’d recommend. The words of Abraham Lincoln are amazing, what a boss.

(5) I would have never pencilled in time to see it, but it was impossible to remain cynical during the daytime parade, which we ended up watching on the hoof. By the time Mickey Mouse arrived at the end, I was cheering along with everyone else. I was at Disneyworld and here was Mickey ****ing Mouse. Yes!!! This dragon was also very cool:

(6) The aesthetics of the park only get better at night. I would definitely recommend experiencing the Frontierland and Adventureland areas in the dark, plus the castle itself was very impressive with it's 50th anniversary lighting.

To end off the day before the fireworks (for which heavy crowds were hoarding), I decided to take Mrs. Nitefly to the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse, as I have great memories of being with my nan on this as a child.

Climbing those steps.

As we got to the top, we were shocked to find a spectacular view of the park, with (at that point) nobody there but us.

Wow.

We realised that this would be a perfect place to watch the fireworks… and it was! Sure, you couldn’t see everything as it was blocked by the trees, but if you want a much quieter and personal experience, I’d definitely recommend it. Get there at least 15 minutes early though - many other people came up seemingly planning to stand where we were, but we had got there first. Boom!

With the park significantly emptying and low queues, we had a final few rides before leaving the park exhausted, but with great big smiles. What a day. Our favourite day of the whole trip, in fact.

If you (i) give yourself enough time and (ii) then take the time to relax and be merry, you may well find yourself rating Magic Kingdom as highly as we did. Hopefully the photos have done the day justice. There is definitely more to Magic Kingdom than just its coaster hardware.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Matt N]

Great report @Nitefly!

Interesting to see your high opinion of Magic Kingdom. I had a nice time there, don’t get me wrong, but I wouldn’t say it was one of my favourite parks by any means; it was perfectly nice, but I found the crowds a bit much, I didn’t think there was anything that really stood out to me attractions-wise (although I’ll digress that Splash Mountain was pretty good as far as water rides go), and I also didn’t think it was quite as well themed as some other parks I’ve been to, in places. Although that’s not to say it’s poorly themed by any stretch; it just wasn’t quite as well themed as some of the others in Florida for me.

Where’s next on your agenda?

 

[Serena]

Oh @Nitefly - you had the exact opposite experience to us at Magic Kingdom! Interesting to read how one persons hell can be anothers heaven!

Your MK report further fuels my opinion that to be able to enjoy Walt Disney World the guest is expected to throw insane amounts of money at it. The experience is significantly more gruelling if you don't stay on resort and pay extra for Genie Plus / Lightning Lane and that just doesn't sit right with me. Especially when the ticket price alone is a fortune. We left the park at 2pm cos we were so defeated by it.

Glad you had a great time though!

 

[Nitefly]

@Matt N - thanks for the kind words, more Disney frolics are on their way!

Oh @Nitefly - you had the exact opposite experience to us at Magic Kingdom! Interesting to read how one persons hell can be anothers heaven!

Your MK report further fuels my opinion that to be able to enjoy Walt Disney World the guest is expected to throw insane amounts of money at it. The experience is significantly more gruelling if you don't stay on resort and pay extra for Genie Plus / Lightning Lane and that just doesn't sit right with me. Especially when the ticket price alone is a fortune. We left the park at 2pm cos we were so defeated by it.

Glad you had a great time though!

Ahh this is so sad to read.

Yup - there is an undeniable and unfortunate truth: the baseline ticket price experience at Disneyworld is going to give a grossly worse experience than an approach where money is thrown at the ‘paid bells-and-whistles’ enhancements. Or put another way, the ‘paid bells-and-whistles’ enhancements will grossly improve your experience.

Speaking generally, the core reason that everyone goes to any park is for the headline attractions. If all time is spent queuing in those (artificially-extended) standby waits, with no ability for a ‘rope drop’ (pretty much reserved exclusively for onsite guests) then you’re probably not going to be able to relax doing the things that substantially bolster the experience. You’re going to rush from long queue to long queue, very unlikely to spend time mooching around the caves on Tom Sawyer Island (or whatever the relaxing, broad equivalent of Efteling’s ‘Fairytale Forrest’ is) and likewise unlikely to kick back with a relaxed snack-fest.

I perceived Magic Kingdom to be kinder than Hollywood Studios, as I think HS would have been borderline unbearable without Genie Plus/lightening lane on the days we went. That park has serious capacity issues when it’s heaving. But the rides at HS are generally more impressive and worth longer waits.

It does seem that Disney is getting it wrong by making its base level offering too gruelling and poor value. Allowing such guest dissatisfaction at your headline park, when compared to what competitors are offering, is a fail.

Thanks for the kind words regardless of your disappointment - we’re gutted you both had a bad time!

 

[Nitefly]

Part 7 - EPCOT

Another bold but playful claim: **** EPCOT.

EPCOT, or "****-COT" as we call it, has been a family punchline for a long time on the basis that it’s ****ING BORING. Well, that’s how the stories go. I was a child when I last visited and my memories are quite fond, or at least, uhh, memorable. One time, I was sat between Nan and Mum on 'Honey, I Shrunk the Audience'. Both of them have a phobia of mice, so when the ‘mice’ went out into the audience and 'touched' your legs, I had two sets of fingernails impaled into my hands in ear-splitting, screaming terror. Did you ever see that film Sleepy Hollow, where the kid totally ***** his hands up by sitting on that spiky chair? Yeah, it was like that.

With enough nagging, I was able to convince a very sceptical Mrs. Nitefly that EPCOT would be a fun adventure. Something different at the very least.

“Fine. We can go. But I want to get smashed and then go on Living with the Land.”
“Deal."

After all, that’s the true appeal of EPCOT, isn’t it? Food and drink. Well, I assume so, as there isn’t really much else. A sprinkling of rides and some 'cultural exhibits' - sure, why not. But let’s not delay our trip to the snack stalls, hmmnn? On that basis, we were dead keen by the time that EPCOT-day rolled around. We’d had some very busy and ‘ride heavy’ days, so some casual mooching was really quite appealing to both of us, particularly as there were some seasonal food booths to sample from.

Though, Mum was quick to shoot-down Mrs. Nitefly's excitement as we entered:

Brutal.

First impressions: “THE GOLF BALLLLL! YEEEEEEY!” Followed closely upon entry by “Jeez, what a ****ing dump?!” - I knew that the scheduled construction was going to be bad, but the extent of the temporary hoarding was really quite severe and ugly. Time generally hasn’t been very kind to the ‘Future World’ (or whatever it is going to be called) sections of EPCOT either. Very dated indeed… hence the need for substantial construction, I suppose.

The prettiest section of 'Future World'.

Having arrived at the park late morning, the plan was to cruise over to World Showcase and then snack ourselves silly at the various ‘Flower and Garden Festival’ stalls. On our way to World Showcase, we explored ‘Bambi’s Butterfly House’.

Yep, there were some butterflies in here. Hmm.

There were also numerous topiaries, as part of the ‘Festival’ (some examples below):

Oh look, it's Figment.

That’s Lady and the Tramp.

Beauty and the Beast.

My anxiety and general feeling of being dead inside was peaking around my third-to-fourth observed topiary: if I was exposed to these for any longer, I might have never be able to get an ******** again. I grabbed Mrs. Nitefly’s hand and we raced onwards.

Although as an aside, credit to this family as this is pretty darn funny:

Our first refuge, in the very intense heat, was the Canada pavilion. But.... there was ****ing nothing there! Nothing! Oh, OK then… there was the opportunity to watch a film on Canada (... no) and then a shop selling the most garish, awful tat. Just, any old **** with some Canada-associated thing on it (a moose, a maple leaf, the word 'Canada' etc). Well, apart from these fetching pyjamas with fish on them:

Who buy these?! WHO!?

I wasn't impressed at all, but whatever… not all of the pavilions could be so terrible. Riiiiiiiiight? *nudge nudge*

Next up was the United Kingdom. This was, in equal parts, embarrassing and hilarious. Our entire culture, summarised by suits of armour and ****ing Greensleeves (which was playing through the speakers seemingly at all times). And the tat! Oh lord, the terrible tat available to buy. It was like being in a duty free shop at a British airport. Look at this. Look at this!!!

My god! And… wait.... hold on….

SHUT UP. NO?!

Whilst I was spasming in shock, some Americans approached this garment and declared how wonderful and “British” it was. At this point I began to wonder if there were some Canadians equally embarrassed in the Canadian pavilion. I did however enjoy this little quiz that was displayed near a checkout:

An American man and his children were attempting to make their way through the list. They were admittedly doing pretty well, but were stuck on ‘Vacuum’. It was time to save the day.

“Ah, I think that one is hoover.”
“HOO-VAH”, he responded, in a mocking accent.
“….. yes, hoover.”
“HOO-VAH!”, he grinned.

I wanted to chop this man into fleshy cubes, stack those cubes into a tower and then kick over that tower - HURGHHH!!! Thankfully, we were able to dissipate some of my fury by opting to do a traditional English walk around the pavilion’s gardens.

“…….”
“…….”
“………shall we promenade?”
“Yes, let’s.”

And so we promenaded, round and round, eventually developing an aggressive rhythmic bob in time to Greensleeves, as some sort of performance art ‘revenge’ against the whole experience. I think we made our point loud and clear.

It was now around 1pm and the sun was so aggressive it was seriously taking its toll on us. Time to find shelter, take a break and snack. Except, we couldn’t.... not without a 30 minute or so wait for the food booths. Nah, we’ll pass on that, onwards to the next booth…. oh shoot, they all have similar queues. Oh dear. It was becoming apparent that our snack-around-the-world dreams of the Festival were not to be. Compounding the exhaustion, seemingly all shaded benches and other areas suitable for sitting were already occupied by others looking to escape the sun.

Hot, bothered, thirsty and quite irate, it seemed that the whole day was about to fall over. As a last ditch attempt before death, we crawled over on all fours to a restaurant overlooking the water in the Morroco pavilion ('Spice Road Table').

“… do… you… have… any… tables….”
“Yes sir! It’s only walk up and we have lots of tables!”

Do yourselves a favour when you go to World Showcase: ditch those temporary food stalls, head to the Moroccan Pavilion, get inside Spice Road Table and never look back. Seats, a table, cool temperatures, a nice view and good food! Ahhh! This restaurant turned-around what was looking to be like a very disappointing day.

Yum.

I must say though, the alcohol was very pricey indeed, at $13 dollars (plus tax) for a pretty stingy glass of sangria. It should be a carafe for that price. Whatever, just bring it to me.

Sangria, you tasted good... but you were poor value.

In this wonderful restaurant, I felt the sudden and unfortunate urge to need the toilet toilet. I mean, you know… have a big and explosive poo. Not wishing to spoil the tranquil ambience, I politely and slowly excused myself like a gentleman, before racing off double time once out of Mrs. Nitefly's view. To my delight, the restaurant lavatory was beautifully tiled and… what was that? Exotic music was playing from the speakers! Wow! “Verrrrrrrrry culturallllll”, I thought, as I relieved myself.

…. I must say, I do recall a nagging sort emotion whilst sat on that toilet. It was as if my body was on the cusp of revealing something insightful… as if this specific moment was somehow…. symbolic… of…. something? But I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Huh.

What else is there to say about World Showcase? We visited all of the other pavillions but there was nothing else of note. I’ll be fair and say that the aforementioned restaurant had good food, but with such crowds and heat like going to a food festival type-event is no good. In the end, we didn't eat a single seasonal food item. Who wants to queue like that for snacks?! We had already had a far better wining and dining experience, for far less dollar, at SeaWorld (which I will get round to in another report) where therefore made us particularly unenthused. Even without crowds, the cultural experiences of World Showcase are laughable. There is shockingly little to look at and what is there is so fleeting, absurdly distilled and hidden amongst expensive shops, the whole thing comes off as insincere.

With my whinings now out of the way, I can fairly say that we actually did have a pretty good time at EPCOT overall, after we got over our disappointment with World Showcase. I’ll move to ‘bullet point’ misc. experiences to round this report out (although not everything I say here is ‘rosy’):

(1) The annual ‘open all year’ food stalls were less busy and there was a really good stall near the China pavilion selling spring rolls, I’d have those again. I think this was the same stall that sold the ’Tipsy Ducks in Love’ cocktail that you hear about on all of those Disney blogs you subscribe to in anticipation of a Disney trip (if you’re a chump like me).

This ****ing cocktail… I was such a ‘Nitefly’ about it. At first instance I thought: "Yes that sounds delicious, I must have it!" Then, I started to become overly self-aware and resent myself and the blogs for making me feel that I would be missing out if I didn’t have it. So in the days leading up to our visit I started to rebel against the idea entirely, as some sort of ’take the power back’ resilience: “**** that cocktail! I’m not going to have it and I won’t be missing out.” Of course, I get to the front of the queue and order it, causing intense feelings of embarrassment and self-loathing at my lack of self-control. But, I then drink and enjoy it. Pretty ****ing good, I’ll take two more please! Ahhhhhhh it’s good to be me.

'Tipsy Ducks in Love'

(2) Oh yeah, rides! Frozen Ever After wasn’t very impressive. Sure, the projection mapping was pretty cool, but it rode like an ancient ride mechanism, because it was (being just a re-skin of the old Maelstrom ride). Very juddery and uncomfortable. Not worth a long standby queue.

(3) Donald Duck and his band of merry Mexican amigos the ride, was rubbish.

(4) Test Track was pretty fun, I haven’t done the refurbed ‘Tron Track’ version where you design a car. This was our chomby vehicle:

We called it 'The Chomb'

(5) Ratatouille was good, although nowhere near as good as M&MRR at HS. I’ve never really been able to get over the title of that film: Ratatouille. Do you get it? Ratatouille.

(6) Soarin’ was alright. Living with the Land was OK for the first 10 minutes but my patience was wearing thin by the end of the greenhouse sections. The building containing both was dreadful, looked like an 80s shopping centre.

(7) Figment was alright. Made far more bearable by the children in the adjoining cars being delighted by him, which was lovely to see.

(8) Mission Space was one of the big surprises of the trip for us. I’ve heard a lot of mixed thoughts on it but we were very impressed. Immersive, forceful and enjoyably interactive..... even 'convincingly claustrophobic'? I’m not sure how re-ridable it is, but I’d say it’s one of the most unique attractions I’ve ever done. Also, the queue line had maybe 6 actors sat at desks pretending to be ‘mission control’. That’s some impressive and dedicated theming!

(9) I think you’re forced into the aquarium via a pointless Nemo based dark ride, but the aquarium here is AMAZING. It’s absolutely humungous and the viewing areas are sensational. Easily one of the best parts of EPCOT, so if you go don’t miss it. FYI you have to walk up some steps to get to the decent viewing areas and it's not immediately obvious, so do explore once inside.

There were also some turtles swimming around. Very cool indeed.

(10) Spaceship Earth is a great dark ride, probably the essential EPCOT Experience. It looked great at night with its light package.

Presumably inspired by the 'Volvik Vivid'.

(11) Other parts of the park became a lot more aesthetically pleasing at night too.

Now we're talking.

(12) The EPCOT fireworks were a huge spectacle, as expected, although as we were amongst the heaving crowds it did make me realise how amazing our treehouse firework experience at Magic Kingdom really was.

Impressive.

Closing thoughts: EPCOT was a mixed bag for us. We had a good time, but were disappointed with World Showcase and otherwise felt ‘done’ with the park after a single day’s visit. We don’t think we’d go back to ECPOT in the foreseeable future, other than a quick stop for the new Guardians ride. The headlining rides also weren’t worth the standby queue waits. Compared to what else is available in Florida, I guess my parents were right all along.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Nitefly]

Part 8 - Animal Kingdom, Busch Gardens and SeaWorld

Sorry team. I've saved the worst for last. This final triplet is a little “joyless”. But, I’ve included a silly photo for you towards the end. So, you know… there’s that?

Animal Kingdom

90 minutes. That’s genuinely the total amount of time we spent at Animal Kingdom, entry to exit. Having been there in recent years we had no desire to ‘explore’ it again and simply did a targeted strike of only three rides (which would have been four if Expedition Everest wasn’t down for prolonged maintenance).

Our first stop was Dinosaur via ‘Dinoland USA’.

Umm.

This area really is an eyesore and I suspect the whole area (and Dinosaur) will get a major re-theme in the upcoming years. Which will be a shame, because Dinosaur itself is actually a really good and surprisingly thrilling ride, rounded out by the goofy dialogue and animatronics. Good fun.

We had an ice-cream and then headed over to Pandora for Flight of Passage. Unfortunately, there was a family who insisted on taking their frightened child on with us. This child was kicking off and it was causing a serious delay. The ride-ops even suggested that one of them should exit the ride and childswap… but no, they insisted to take him on and proceeded to loudly talk over the whole experience trying to calm the child down. I was absolutely furious. What a bunch of selfish *****! They completely ruined it for me, Mrs. Nitefly and presumably everyone else. Unwilling to accept the scenario, I approached a ride-op and successfully requested a re-ride. I feel terrible for making ‘a fuss’ but I was very grovelingly thankful for them being so accommodating. The second set of riders oooo’ed and ahhhh’ed in delight, adding a light communal atmosphere that was enjoyable and actually quite cathartic after our initial misery.

As for FOP itself, yeah, it’s really good. Miles better than the two other flying theatres I’ve done (Soarin’ and the one at Europa). I think the ‘breathing’ effect of the banshee is a fab detail.

We finished our visit with Navi River Journey. This is OK, but it just reminded us of how good River Caves at BPB is. Some of the projection effects are pretty amazing (such as the ‘fake waterfalls’) but the flat screens were obvious and took away from the experience slightly. We just focussed on the swirly whirlies on the ceiling. “I love a swirly whirlie”, I whispered to Mrs. Nitefly, who nodded in approval.

Yup, that was about it. I don’t think we will visit Animal Kingdom again for many years.

*****

Busch Gardens

Having already talked about Iron Gwazi at length, I actually have little to say about our two trips to Busch Gardens. On our first trip, we did a few other attractions:

- SheiKra was OK but just seemed totally redundant after IG, which has a taller and better drop.

- Montu faired better and was pretty darn good, a very solid ride and proof (after the disappointment of the Incredible Hulk) that a ‘looper’ type of ride can still be worthwhile.

- We had a silly experience with the scenic train ride. We waited 20 minutes for it to arrive, only for them to allow everyone else to stay on…. So we couldn’t get on and were told the next train would be an hour. Wut! We did manage to get on it later though and it was nice to see the animals in the ‘safari’ area.

We thought we would be OK to save Kumba and Cheetah Hunt for our second visit… but alas it wasn’t to be, for that second visit was on the ‘grim rainy Saturday’ that everyone else that was in the area will remember. Absolutely everything was shut down and the park ended up closing 2 hours early, so we just did a sad walking loop, looking at a bunch of downed rides. Thankfully, Iron Gwazi reopened for the final half an hour and we got in another 5 rides on the beast. It's light package remained off, so this was some foreseeable rare 'true' night rides. Stellar stuff.

My closing thought on Busch Gardens is that the addition of Iron Gwazi has been a bit of a double edged sword. It’s so good that it’s pretty much ‘broken’ the ride line-up. As an enthusiast, you may as well just keep lapping Iron Gwazi, because nothing else in the park comes close. At least with Energylandia you can hop between Zadra and Hyperion. I think another modern ‘super elite’ type ride would really help round Busch Gardens out. Perhaps if I had got on Kumba and Cheetah Hunt, I would have a slightly different view. I think replacing Kumba with a giga, or perhaps an extreme spinning coaster, would be a wise move.

*****

SeaWorld

My headline tip for SeaWord: go to their food and wine festival, buy yourself a lanyard and feast yourself silly. We got an 18 item lanyard for perhaps $80, with each ‘item’ being a fairly decent sized snack or a medium sized alcoholic drink. It was absolutely brilliant. I cannot understate how much we enjoyed it.

An example of the treats on offer.

Once it dawned on us how good the food festival was, the rides were honestly sort of an afterthought. But, it’s the rides that these blogs are here to discuss, so let’s crunch through them.

- Ahoy, Mako. I see you over there. Looking niiiiice and fiiiiine. Great ride, some truly fab airtime throughout and an enjoyable ending over the lake (Mrs. Nitefly and I always award points for a ride going over water). From memory, I would say the airtime is a couple of pinches better than Shambhala, but overall both of us preferred Shambhala for it’s pure ‘spectacle’ (as from memory its hills seem notably taller and more imposing than Mako). It’ll be interested to see how much a giga could take it to the next level.

- Kraken was just sort of a thing. It was OK but I really have only a fleeting interest in these generic boring loopers that don’t do anything but flip you upside down. At least Montu had the forces and the ‘leg dangling’. Definitely a ‘one and done’.

- Ice Breaker was really good. I’d even go as far as saying that the top hat provided more sustained airtime than VelociCoaster, with plenty of other aggressive airtime throughout. Those restraints really are a buzzkill though. Mrs. Nitefly really hurt her ear on one ride and has been cursing the notorious ‘comfort collars’ ever since.

- Manta was redundant for us. We’re not sure we’ll ever ride one of these again, except for maybe Tatsu. That said, the pretzel loop on Manta was disgusting, so who knows how we’ll endure Tatsu!

Really, my favourite part of the park was actually seeing an ultra-rare sawfish in the shark tank. I'm a big fan of elasmobranchs, but I’ve never seen this one before in the flesh. Such a wonderful animal.

Beautiful.

*****

Final Thoughts

I'll have many fond memories of this trip to Florida. All this time later, it’s still got the magic. I expect we’ll next be back in 2-3 years for the opening of Epic Universe.

There’s a few things I’d do differently for next time, most notably making more time to relax earlier on in the trip. I think this is best achieved by trying not to ‘complete everything immediately’ as we had plenty of time for day 2/3 visits. So that's a minor regret.

Merch-wise, we settled for a handful of select items that would discretely let our friends and family know of our travels.

Spoiler: "So.... you went on holiday? Have a nice time?"

"Yes, it was very nice! Thanks for asking!"

Finally and most importantly, a big thanks for Mrs. Nitefly for the wonderful time and for putting up with me xxx

Thanks for reading.

THE END

Well, I guess that's it. I don’t think we’ll ever be able to top such a grand coaster filled adventure

Spoiler: ...😐

***CLICK FOR HYPE MUSIC***

“…. we’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

 

[Howie]

You! You bought the Epcot fish pyjamas!

Genius!