Neal and I arrived shortly before 11 and Will as there after a few minutes. We met by the MJ doll stall.
As we were in a group of three, this meant one person would be a loner. It seemed to end up being me most of the time.
Our first ride was Jubilee Odyssey. I got on back row, or near to back, I can’t remember which. Neal and Will waited for front. They got on second row.
I enjoyed my first ride in a several years on JO. It’s such a relentless coaster but totally spoilt by typical Vekoma roughness. Then again, if it did have that element to it’s character, it could possibly be dull? However, still a great coaster but certainly not one I’m willing to travel 250 miles for.
Will and Neal seemed emotionless during the brake run.
I think we had a go on Millennium Coaster next. That’s a strange ride. It’s one of the smoothest Vekoma’s I’ve ridden but there’s so much “dead track” where it does nothing. I think that because it’s over the market, it improves the ride experience. I’m confident that if it was just plonked in a field, it would be as exciting as dinner party with people who have watched all of IMDB’s Top 250 films.
We sort of minced about next, not really fussed about riding anything, there was certainly a lack of enthusiasm. We went inside.
The inside part to Fantasy Island is excellent. It’s a cross between Alton’s Splash Landings and Thorpe’s dome with a splash of Disney style theming and interaction. Neal wanted to do the dingy ride but it was shut. However, we noticed a slowpids, which we decided to do.
It had an inside bit where there are different types of fish – Parrot Fish, Lion Fish, Peeping Fish, Nightclub Fish etc etc.
In some ways it was better than the Bubbleworks at CWoA. It had an annoying tune but thankfully I’ve forgotten it.
We did another ride indoors next, Toucan Tours, or something like that. It’s a monorail.
The journey takes the rider through the “secrets of Fantasy Island”. The secrets being some quite well themed Aztec and psychedelic worlds.
We messed around a bit more inside. Bought lottery tickets, looked for coins on the arcade floor and soaked up the atmosphere.
It’s the first time I’ve explored the indoor part and I was suitably impressed.
However, we then returned outside and I really don’t like the park. I’m not sure if it’s the mish-mash of the busy, claustrophobic market combined with mediocre rides or the atmosphere in general. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly, but I don’t like it. Fantasy Island has a unique identity but it’s difficult to define. Arrrgggghhhhhh, it’s schizophrenic which irritates me greatly. Some may call it quirky, I find it messy and tacky.
We walked around the market as I promised to get my mum a tacky fridge magnet.
The drop tower, Volcano, was closed, the log flume’s water looked rank, so we went for the Rhombus Rocket coaster. There was a problem with the restraints, a couple were stuck inside. We waited by the new wristband system, already vandalised.
Want to know where they were made and who by? Well look no further!
As we couldn’t progress through the gates, time was wasted by scanning the wristband barcode several times. I then opened my wallet and looked for other barcodes to scan. I scanned a Nectar card and an Asda receipt.
We did manage to get another error message to pop up. Don’t worry though, it didn’t break the system and we left it operating correctly.
They temporarily closed the ride, so we headed to the dodgems. Long queue, so that was avoided. Will and Neal did the Spinning Mouse. I sat it out.
Food was calling. We walked back to the car where we had a 31p bottle of red sauce. We went the LONG way back to the car park, walking through what appears to be an abandoned McDonald’s drive thru.
With sauce in hand, we found a chippy and ate inside…it had started to rain.
Once the rain had subsided, we went back to the car and drove to Bottons. I attempted this without satnav and we got lost. Eventually I found a car park and we walked to the park along the be-atch.
Millions of little bugs covered us. Really annoying. Also, the water along Skegness beach is BROWN! I’ve never seen brown water before so this was a first. My choice of car park was turd (like the sea) so we had a longish walk to Bottons.
We worked out how many tokens we would need to ride what we wanted to and the credit whored.
Neal sat out of the Mine Train Coaster. Will and I had a row each. I had front row. A kid decided to sit next to me, which made me feel uncomfortable. My natural instinct is to make small talk to somebody sat next to me. Do I talk to the child? Can I ride politely with my hands on my lap, or should I keep them with where everybody can see them? It made the ride awkward for me because I was essentially riding a kids ride and could have easily had acquisitions made towards me. The child tried speaking to me, but I ignored him.
Next up was the original Coaster-on-a-Roof! The Queen Bee coaster. It’s an inverted apple coaster with three-across seats! Awesome, no loner riding!
It could do with a clean.
We also grabbed a group photo on the roof. Count the high attendance – yes THREE!
Will and Neal grabbed their spinning coaster ride. Again, I sat out.
Then Will did the Apple Coaster. Neal and I sat out.
With all the coasters done and lack of enthusiasm about riding anything else, we walked to the town to look for a fridge magnet.
I found Skegness to be quite grubby. No, I’m not being snobby or pretentious (I love Bognor Regis FFS!) but there was a dirty feel to the place. Flies were swarming everywhere, fat women wearing tight leggings eating massive ice creams. Even the public toilet cleaner was accused of being a paedophile by a bloke holding a menacing dog on a string.
I LOVE the British seaside. I’d quite happily spend time in Southsea, Bude, Brighton, Great Yarmouth, Blackpool, Cleethorpes, Southend…but Skegness was horrible. It felt dirty, bitty and attracted a shifty crowd. I felt unwelcome and out of place. It’s not a town that I would recommend to anybody. It’s a shame because the beach looks long, clean and sandy. Obviously Butlins and Fantasy Island are crowd pullers but the town itself needs some desperate TLC. I did find a tacky fridge magnet though.
We drove back to Fantasy Island, sat in the car for 15mins with the aircon blasting, hopefully cleansing ourselves.
A couple of rerides on JO and MC as well as a ride on RR followed. We scoured the market once again and left.
Tbh, all those who couldn’t make it didn’t really miss out on much. I had a relaxing, fun-filled day thanks to the company, but the parks in Skegness can wait a long time before I even consider heading back.
Cleethorpes the following day was a big improvement…