Just finished watching '
Michael Schumacher's: Coulthard & Button vs. Kimi Raikkonen' with Richard (Stone Cold).
First of all, I have to say the casting was superb! Each actor really fit their role perfectly and executed it well (with the exception of Coulthard who was a bit wooden in the lead role, but that is to be expected :lol: ).
Being huge F1 fans, needless to say we were looking forward to this film with much anticipation and it didn't disappoint! It's only a fiver on play.com at the moment - an absolute bargain! I'd highly recommend it to anyone with a vague interest in motor racing.
Now, on to the film (potential spoilers here guys - you've been warned!)
It all started a bit too similar to it's predecessor '
Coulthard Forever' - but any chance to see the DC cave is one not to be missed. The car that the useless Scot would no doubt crash in turn 1 seemed a good upgrade on the last one (which he predictably trashed when he lost control whilst leading). However, Fangio was quick to point out that it wasn't likely to survive too long. Shockingly, it lasted the whole film! :shock:
The next scene introduced us to the main villian of the film - a suprisingly sober, Kimi Raikkonen as Mr. Freeze (he was supposed to be the 'Ice Man' but Max Mosely's budget cap on the film meant that they couldn't afford the rights to that name).
This point was also where we were introduced to Raikkonen's minions/henchmen. Played by Kovalainen, Salo and Rosberg - all suitably scandanavian and wished they were him (just not talented enough).
During the first confrontation it was the same old story, Coulthard and Button led from the start, only to fail right at the end when the pressure was on handing victory to Raikkonen - who placed his trophy in the conveniently sized slots on his laser with all of his other ones.
Moving on, we discovered the interesting dynamic between Dr Woodrue (Prost) and Pamela Isly (Barrichello), during which Prost develops amorous advances toward Barrichello - only to be rejected. Deeply hurt by this unforseen failure, in typical Prost fashion he attempts to kill his opponent.
During this scene, Prost weilds his Professor-like powers to create Bane (Montoya). The fiery Columbian will prove to be the main source of "rage" in this film (picking a fight with just about anyone and everything!). :twisted:
Back at DC Manor, we discover that Fangio is not currently under a clean bill of health. Failing to reach the door first in 30 years! Perhaps retirement looms for the old maestro? We are also introduced to Ralf Schumacher's character (later to be Batgirl). He plays no necessary part in the film, but as usual has benefited from his brother's position as Director. Button immediately falls in love with the younger Schumacher.
In a disastrous relapse of the 1989 Japanese Grand Prix - Prost finds that his attempts to kill his adversary have failed and Barrichello seemingly rises from the dead and kills Prost. Montoya then decides to join legions with the Brazilian in a South American 'moan-rage' relationship.
Next we go to the 'worst observatory building ever' - which has been built in the middle of the Gotham City Circuit. Where Coulthard and Button meet with Nigel Mansell (Murray Walker commentates). Barrichello then shows up and starts moaning at everyone, Montoya has other plans and decides havoc and rage is the order of the day. Not satisfied with Ralf Schumacher, Button also takes this opportunity to make a pass on Barrichello. But as normal, he is unsuccessful - having to resort to keeping his place (behind Coulthard). Whilst Coulthard undertakes in some shameless advertising of the main sponsor of the film - MasterCard (clearly the budget has suffered due to the tobacco ban).
A still t-total Raikkonen then makes an appearance to cool things off a bit. Personal driver, Takuma Sato (not content with the mess made in the museum at round 1) crashes through the wall; whilst his failed scandanavian henchmen unsucessfully try to quel some MontoyaRage!
Murray Walker signals the start of the 2nd race. Sato causes needless damage to the Gotham City Circuit, but it is ultimately Raikkonen who is victorious, with Coulthard and Button getting DNF's and it's a miserable DNS for Rubens Barrichello (whose advances on Raikkonen whilst on the grid have not gone unnoticed). As has Richard's admiration for Barrichello's legs!
Random MontoyaRage follows this scene, don't worry, it soon becomes commonplace; and a continually moaning Barrichello is now claiming he's better than God! No change there then!
Lack of success (and points) from the first two races of the season leads to Button trying his hand at DTM with Ralf Schumacher. After an exciting race during which Lauda's sneaky plan to lay fireworks on the track blows up in his face and results in a DNF. Set for a podium each, Schumacher and Button both crash off on the final straight in bizarre fashion - both blaming each other no doubt.
In the mean time, Raikkonen is arrested for driving sober. But he is busted out by Barrichello, who is determined to get a team mate who he can pay off to lose to him! Montoya has PolicemanRage and then attempts to knock down Adrian Sutil (playing the Arkham Asylum Wall), but is unsucessful. He moves aside for Raikkonen, who executes a perfect crash resulting in retirement for Sutil and an end to his race winning ambitions. :roll:
Coulthard and Button turn up to thwart them, but it's too late! Coulthard also takes an interest in Barrichello's legs (Richard says, "I told you so!"). Not wanting to be upstaged by Montoya, Raikkonen partakes in some MansellRage and turns down his conveniently placed thermostat to extra cold. Montoya develops random CoulthardRage to compensate...
After winning, yet again! Raikkonen bathes in his victory. Meanwhile, Barrichello has stumbled across the Finn's plan to bring three-times champion Ayrton Senna back from the dead to be his teammate. Not wanting to be left in last place
again, he pull's the plug and ensures that the talented Brazilian can't make a comeback.
Montoya's random SnowglobeRage, is followed by an equally random dinner date between Coulthard and Mika Hakkinen. It doesn't end well, as Hakkinen leaves prematurely never to return! Poor DC
Takuma Sato has obviously been sacked at this point, as we see Raikkonen and Montoya in the same car with no damage to the circuit or vehicle in sight. Or at least, you would have thought so. But he makes a return to proove that he's just as rubbish at firing a gun as he is at driving. He then crashes all on his own with no interference from anyone else, Raikkonen has had enough and decides to terminate his contract.
The cliff used for Arkham Asylum in earlier scenes is now recycled for the Observatory, which has mysteriously moved to the outskirts of the circuit. This is clear evidence of the Max Mosely Budget Cap ruining the continuity of the film, not to mention Eccelstone's useless location skills (he claims he was unable to negotiate a contract with the other mountain near to the circuit).
Montoya comes into his own during this scene, as he has ButtonRage AND SchumacherRage all at the same time - a brilliant effort! Coulthard then gets his own back on Montoya for forcing him to leave McLaren for Red Bull in 2005 and spites him! Resulting in a move to NASCAR and never again to be seen in the film!
Raikkonen (with the Championship already sealed) loses concentration as he can't be bothered anymore, allowing Coulthard to take a hollow end of season victory with Button 2nd and Ralf Schumacher 3rd. But it all ends in controversy when they line up for the first race of the new season when they turn up as a 3 car team on the grid - disqualification followed swiftly.
Overall, we were very impressed with the film. But the inconsistency in locations and the quite frankly rubbish effects budget loses it a mark. A firm
9/10 nonetheless.
- Directed by - Michael Schumacher
Produced by - Luciano Burti
Special Effects - Max Mosely
Location Supervisor - Bernie Ecclestone
Batman - David Coulthard
Robin - Jenson Button
Mr. Freeze - Kimi Raikkonen
Poison Ivy - Rubens Barrichello
Bane - Juan Pablo Montoya
Batgirl - Ralf Schumacher
Julie Madison - Mika Hakkinen
Alfred - Juan Manuel Fangio
Commissioner Gordon - Nigel Mansell
Gossip Gerty - Murray Walker
Dr Jason Woodrue - Alain Prost
Freeze's Driver - Takuma Sato
Freeze's Wife - Ayrton Senna
Freeze's Henchmen - Heikki Kovalainen, Mika Salo & Keke Rosberg
...and introducing Adrian Sutil as 'Arkham Asylum's Wall'