Final Part – Killing Time In Oslo
Our flights home from Rygge were not until 8pm-ish so we had to kill time in Oslo until 5pm.
Here’s our hostel room.
We had to share the room with four others – Boring Man (went to sleep really early), Orange Shoes Man (had a pair of orange shoes), Black Man (he was black) and Scary Man (he was scary).
I snore, especially after a drink. Jake told me that Orange Shoes Man and me were having a snoring competition during the night…and I was woken up by Black Man snoring. Must have been a nightmare for the others!
I think we all agreed without really discussing it that Oslo doesn’t really offer much as a tourist destination unless you have loads of cash. We were on a budget so we needed to find free stuff to do during the day to kill time.
We stayed in the hostel room until the last minute – 11am. The Sleeping Beauties didn’t get out of bed until 10:30.
We still had a whole bottle of vodka left over and due to the 100ml rule, we had to leave it behind. We left it under Scary Man’s pillow with a note.
We minced outside the hostel for a while before heading to McDonalds for breakfast.
I didn’t bother with a McD’s this time, I went for another calzone from 7-11. I also dropped mine and Vadge’s bags off at the train station. I knew there would be a lot of walking today and I didn’t fancy lugging it around.
After several cheeseburgers, we headed north through the city on a longish walk to Vigeland.
By walking this route, you can see how Oslo is separated by the Royal Palace, which, incidentally, looked a lot better in the sunshine.
South of the Royal Place, Oslo is a typical city centre – offices, shops, hotels and plenty of concrete. Immediately north of the Palace, Oslo becomes very wealthy and leafy.
The buildings are grand, the sort you’d expect to see in Chelsea or Notting Hill in London – impressive Georgian style buildings. Certainly more residential. I think we passed an embassy or two as well. I found it rather strange how the Palace so precisely splits the city. The northern half of Oslo didn’t feel like the Oslo that I’ve spent the rest of the weekend in. It felt richer, quieter and warmer.
After an hour or so of walking we had reached Vigeland Park. Vigeland is a huge, impressive public open space, with loads of naked statues, a bridge and a monolith.
Jake hoped that there would be “lots of cock” and he was right!
Aside from cock, there were also plenty of boobs, even the odd lesbo couple!
It had to be done!
I’ve been to Amsterdam, which is probably regarded as the world’s most relaxed city when it comes to nudity and sexuality. However, all of this nudity was in a grand, shiny public park for all to see. Kids were standing next to the statues holding on to the dongs, and school kids appeared to be drawing the statues. It was quite surreal.
It’s a shame that the iPhone camera is so turd as my images can’t really show off the sheer size and grandeur of the park. For me, Vigeland was the best place I had visited in Norway, I would even recommend a visit to Vigeland over Tusenfryd.
You’d think the woman in the middle would look slightly worried!
As we made our way through the park towards the monolith, nudity was everywhere, even on the gates!
The statues around the monolith also became more raunchy and impressive. HUGE stone sculptures, all in various positions. Marvellous!
The monolith itself was awesome. I hate using the word “awesome”, it’s so American and overused, but there’s no other apt word. A pile of 121 naked bodies reaching 46ft towards the sky = AWESOME!
Here’s the view from the monolith plateau back towards the entrance.
And for those of you that like to know facts about Ian From CoasterForce – this is the furthest north that I’ve ever been!
We walked around the park – discovering some water slides that go directly into some lake water – and ended up in the café at the entrance. It was typically expensive – a beer and baguette cost Jake £14. We sat outside drinking our coffees and smoking. Just like the bar we went to the night before, blankets were provided so you could keep warm outside. No doubt if they had these in the UK, they would be stolen!
There’s a kids play park there as well.
And a bench for the less energetic.
We had managed to kill several hours and our prebooked train was getting closer and closer.
We got a tram back to the central station. A tram ticket cost about £2.80 and is valid for an hour. We wanted to use up our coins – loads of them – but the ticket machines were terrible. It took us 10 minutes of trying until they accepted all the coins.
After the tram we waited for the train (which left bang on time!).
Then a free bus to the airport.
And then a plane back to the UK.
On the plane back, Jake asked the trolley dolly loads of questions, but she was a friendly lady and she humoured him. She also knew of Raybould and his theme parking. She wouldn’t give us any gossip though!
Jake also brought some of those smokeless cigarettes.
And that was that.
The weekend was brilliant. I had a really great time, even if I couldn’t throw money away like I tend to do when on holiday. In all honestly, it felt like the park was a secondary reason for visiting, we just so happened to go to a theme park.
Oslo is not a city that I will rush back to, or possibly even go to again. I’m not saying that it’s not worth visiting, but I think I’ve exhausted the place as much as I can on a budget.
Tusenfryd is worth a visit and with Ryanair doing cheap flights from the UK, I would strongly suggest that people give it a go. Just take loads of money and don’t expect to be incredibly thrilled and you’ll have a great time.
Thanks to Jake, Ben and Vadge for a LOLtastic weekend and thanks to everybody else for reading!