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Robb Alvey's Theme Parks of Asia Tour!

No, Robb. Don't tell my members to go **** themselves sidewards and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't really care what some coaster enthusiast she's never heard of thinks anyway, even if it was a 'joke'.

End.

Anyway, freakin' awesome report! I'd love to get to China one day. Gavin's posted loads of PTR from Asia before so my appitite is well and turely whetted.
 
Sorry about my little spat of offensiveness. The world would be much better without internet drama. And you know, if some people would keep to themselves these kinds of things wouldn't happen....Anyway, here's more photos. I do hope some people here appreciate that I'm willing to share our reports with other websites...

Day Four - Nanhu & Jing Ying Amusement Park
aka - Ghetto Park Day!

Today was our transfer day from Beijing to Guangzhou. We boarded an early morning flight on one of those 747 "Combi" planes which is 1/2 passenger, 1/2 cargo. It's weird in a way, but also kind of cool.

We hit up one small park called "Nanhu Amusement Park" which looked like the kind of place that closed a little over a decade ago, but they forgot to tell the employees who dilligently keep it open. It was "weird."

Then we headed to a bonus park, Jing Ying Amusement Park, for a bonus credit! Yay!

Photos....

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Here we are at the Beijing Airport. Every time we fly internationally we realize how crap most of the US airports are!

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The girls of TPR...totally crashed out!

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Um...did we just land on the SUN?!!?

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We stopped off for a quick dim sum lunch where green stringy stuff seemed to be the dish of choice!

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"Welcome to the most ghetto park of the trip so far!"

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"Nanhu Amusent Park"....um, yeah...

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Our first credit that isn't a credit of the day was the powered Dragon. KidTums says "Why am I riding this? I don't even count it!"

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Yay! Finally we get to the Arrow/Vekoma mutation!

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The story behind this ride is that it was started by Arrow, but then later finished by Vekoma...yeah, we're going to die!

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The first drop was....well.... "Weird"

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GO! GO! GO!....we nearly stalled out in the corkscrews!

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When you were done getting your skull beaten apart, they had exercise equipment for you to use.

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Gift shop anyone??? Gift shop?

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Hmm...I actually think this ride may be OPEN! Let's not go find out, shall we?

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The splashdown boat has seen some better days.

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It was time to board the Elissa Alvey bus of death and mortal sin.

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Yay! Bonus Park!!!

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Well at least I feel safe that no one will be touching my self esteem!

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BONUS CREDIT!!!

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This is why we like keeping TPR trips to small groups! It doesn't take an hour to get through the coaster that only holds one person.

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It was a very bizarre mouse...not like anything I've ever been on before.

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This is a "two packs per day" control panel.

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Momma gets a coaster credit...

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...while KidTums gets a carousel credit!

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Rich has found a new career as a Chinese laborer.

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Here is the view from our hotel.

Day Five - Chimelong Paradise
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Obligatory front entrance shot. We would have done a group photo, but we ate everyone else.

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Our ERT/filming session started off with 10 Inversion Coaster...yes...it's REALLY called "10 Inversion Coaster!"

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Here's one inversion.

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There's a bunch more in there somewhere...

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"Ten Circle Roller Coaster bring you Orgiastic Scream." Um...first off all the word is "orgasmic" and secondly.... WHAT?!?!??!

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WTF! I really think they actually DO want you to have sex while on this ride!!!!

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Yup, next on the ERT schedule was the Dive Coaster.

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And it is as advertized!

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This Dive Coaster is a SheiKra clone right down to the water splash. The ride is totally awesome, though!

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Our carriage waits...

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That's right! The ghetto rig is going to suck out all your happiness and bottle them into a future TPR DVD!

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Ok everyone! ORGIASTIC SCREAM!!!!

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Into the tunnel and then splash down.

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There's a little bit of theming on the 2nd drop.

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Half Pipe was next. Does this really even count as a coaster?

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"Permanent" memory...it will be burned into your skull!

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KidTums tries out for the part of "Zombie Baby" at Halloween Horror Nights.

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Cedar Fair marketing anyone?

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When they say "Spicy Chicken Wing" they mean the WHOLE wing!

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UM....WTF is that thing!??!?! It just randomly wandered around the park!

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Random Dive Coaster photo...just because!

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"Can I ride too? I promise I'll hold on REAL tight!"

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"Um, hello....DABBLED?!?!?"

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That's a LOT of water for just a "dabble"

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Overall it was a GREAT day at Chimelong...everyone is wiped out because of all that orgiastic screaming.
 
Awesome report! Let's hope that the Chinese never will learn perfect English, their version is so much more fun than the standard.

By the way, is there never a completely blue sky in Asia? In every photo I have seen of an Asian coaster, it's either cloudy, raining, fog, or smoggy.

And I have to admit, even though 10 Inversion Roller Coaster sounds a bit tacky, they have at least made a proper entrance sign. Though, with that themeing, the coaster could have had a way better name.

And the kid's expressions are just hilarious. Especially when captioned.
 
Pokemaniac said:
By the way, is there never a completely blue sky in Asia? In every photo I have seen of an Asian coaster, it's either cloudy, raining, fog, or smoggy.
We had amazing weather our first few days...

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But then after that is was mostly smoggy and overcast.
 
Rob, I apologise. I don't mean to offend you, I didn't insult you so why foul mouth me? I don't care who you are, you don't diss me like that. I only meant what I said as light hearted humor only because I would like to see you around the site as an active member. It'd be cool to have you around, THATS why I said it, nothing more and nothing less. Now if you can't see that Mr my name is theme park, then I take my sorry back.

Your reports are awesome and this is such a fantastic report aswell, I understand your motives and thats why I made a comment. I'd like to hear your view now and again around the forums as a member, not just someone from another site, thats why I wanted to say something here as I never get a reply out of PM's.

Look, I don't want a fallout because frankly I don't think I've said anything of offense which is ridiculous and petty to even think I did. I didn't expect that you to take it that way and I am very disgusted at the extremely childish way you reacted toward me. Chainsaws, come off it mate, it only makes you look like the arse. Like I said, I don't want a fallout, so lets be civil.

And Ian, in response to what you said -

I'm not trying to tell him what to post or not to post, no way would I! I know my place. I just needed to say something, you know me Ian, if I want to say something I aint gonna hold and actually I think I was very reserved. I didn't insult Rob, yes I critiqued the ethics behind it all but nothing more. I didn't cause offense to Rob in anyway and you can see that too.
 
Well, I think both Robb and Erol have apologised now, so we can move on and be happy and everything :)
 
Day Six - Mysterious Island, Pearl Land, and Amazing World

Today was kind of a "Credit Whore Day" that started out at a really nice park!

Our first stop was Mysterious Island in Zhuhai. A nice little park with two coasters, one of them being an Intamin launched that while small in size, really kicked a$$!

We then headed on to Pearl Land also in Zhuhai which was a nice park, nothing amazing, maybe slightly on the ghetto side, but overall a good place to pick up 4 random coaster credits.

And then we ended our night with a small park called Amazing World we tried to go to last night, but was closed due to rain. Since it was not very far out of the way back to our hotel we decided to hit it again and tonight we were in luck! It's a mostly indoor place with a few outdoor rides much like Toverland! There was a custom Vekoma Roller Skater here (again, just like Toverland) and to some there was even a total of four credits!

Now some pictures....

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We started at Mysterious Island...a little damp, but we were here for some filming so they would open the coasters for us anyway!


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We arrive at the park about an hour before the public was allowed in. The Intamin Launch (called Sky Car) looks small, but man it was GREAT!

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Everyone ready to ride?

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It basically has Storm Runner's top hat, although a little shrunk down.

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LOOP -DE- LOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!

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Sky Car + foliage.

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Next up was the Screamin' Squirrel...this coaster was not quite as good as the Intamin.

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What's the one thing I like the best about mermaids in China?

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NO SEA SHELLS!!!

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1Overall Mysterious Island was a really NICE park! Some great rides, good landscaping and theming. The park is only a few years old so as it fills it in should be even better!

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Now we are at Pearl Land...it was a little ghetto, but overall nice. By far not the worst park we visited on the trip.

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The first coaster "Jet Coaster" had some bizarre looking trains.

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It actually was a lot of fun!

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You dirty, dirty whore!

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KidTums is all "C'mon mommy, do I *really* need to be riding all these Chinese death traps?"

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The "Jungle Mouse" was quite twisty. I'm not sure I've ever seen a mouse with THAT many turns.

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This was called "Pearl Land's Screaming Loop."

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And then yeah, you are pretty much screaming in pain the whole time. Note that this *looks* like an Arrow/Vekoma looper, but it's just another Chinese knock off.

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Next we went over to Amazing World which is inside the South China Mall...it's a giant indoor park with a Vekoma Roller Skater, much like Toverland.

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This version is a custom one and it's really tall and very long. It's mostly indoors, but has a partial outdoor section.

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Since this place wasn't on the original itinerary it was a BONUS CREDIT!!!

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For those REAL Jeff Johnson credit whores there were a few other rides here that could be counted as a coaster with some stretch of the imagination.

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"That's right this is TWO credits!!!"

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This thing is almost more of a credit...

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It's this kiddie spinning thing that moves along the track and is powered by drive tires. I can see some people counting this for sure, but for me, heck, I didn't even bother to ride them!

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"Hi, my name is Bob and I *am* ...sad and pathetic!"


Day Seven - Happy Valley Shenzhen, Honey Lake, Donghu Park
Today was another day of many parks! We first started out at Happy Valley in Shenzhen which was another awesome park! I never imaged we would encounter such amazing looking parks in China. Seriously, the Happy Valley parks are nicer than 80% of USA parks. The only thing that have lacking is the operations are a bit odd, but I think it has more to do with how the local culture navigates through the parks.

I think I may have even liked this park better than the one in Beijing, but without the B&M flyer the ride selection wasn't quite as good.

Next we visited Honey Lake Park. This was a strange, STRANGE place. When researching all these parks we were told that Honey Lake is basically on death row. Half of the park now has a new highway running right through it and you can see the old entrance on one side of the road and a defunct old roller coaster on the other.

Across the park they have one roller coaster that looked barely operating and a couple other flats that kind of, sort of worked. If you didn't see rides running you would think that this whole park had already been abandoned years ago.

Then the final stop for the day was Donghu park. I nice city park with a small amusement section that included two coasters and an alpine slide. Great little park, mostly for kids, but still a lot of fun!

Onto some photos...

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We arrive at Happy Valley Shenzhen where they are celebrating 10 top hats full of sex and hot oil.

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Just like the Beijing version, there was a Vekoma mine train, totally crazy themed and different from the other park and a bazillion times nicer than the Hard Rock Park version!

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Yup, they had a Vekoma SLC just like the Beijing Happy Valley. At least aren't the same as every other damn SLC in the world!

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The Chinese knock off Wacky Worm with the punching bee.

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"This is the proper riding position for the Punching Bee coaster."

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They also had one of those "Fire Academy" rides from Legoland, but this one you had to put out the fire on the...um...CRASHED PLANE?!?!

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In the shops you are encouraged to buy your kids machine guns.

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Oh, look! They have a dark ride here themed to Santa Claus. How nice!

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Wait a second...if this is a dark ride about Christmas and Santa Claus why do they have guns? OMG! It's a shooting dark ride themed to Christmas! This might very well be the BEST DARK RIDE IN THE WORLD!!!!

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The splash battle ride looked great...


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And this awesome kids ride in the "Typhoon Bay" area where you ride in beds and bathtubs!

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There was a lot of mystery meat on sticks...

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This is "Honey Lake" and at first glance it may look really nice. That coaster there is just sitting in the water rotting away. I don't think it's been opened in YEARS.

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The coaster that was open was ALSO rotting away!

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By the looks of the queue, I don't think this ride sees much love.

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Although for a rusted out dilapidated coaster, it actually ran pretty good!

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I don't think too many children will be playing today.

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The water park seems to be closed at the moment...I think we'll wait it out though as it may be open a bit later.

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Next up was Donghu park where we DID find kids playing! Donghu is a large city park with a small amusement section and an alpine slide.

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And yes there is ANOTHER one of these knock off spinning coasters. We think the Chinese government forced all the parks to buy these!

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It doesn't matter...we are dirty dirty whores and will ride anything!

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Including ride the powered coaster! (Even kidtums got this non-credit!)

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There was also this really AWESOME Alpine Slide. Not sure how long it is, but this had to be one of the longest I've been on.

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Alpine Slide POV!!!

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Before dinner we had a "McDonald's Appetizer."

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At dinner had a special guest! Mr. Chicken! Turns out Mr. Chicken's name was "Ed." He had quite an interesting past. He was a gansta rapper than lived in South Central Los Angeles. He didn't run with a very good crowd most of his life. There came a time though where he met a girl and started to turn things around because of her. On the night he was going to propose he went to a party where some of his friends got into a fight with some chinese mobsters. He was told that if he didn't come with them he would never see his woman again. After doing unmentionable acts to some birds living on the street he stood up for his rights and fought to come back to his true love. He almost made it out but was caught right before boarding a crate that would bring him back to Los Angeles. Today he was our dinner...and I gotta say, Ed tasted DAMN GOOD!

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"I'm sorry things didn't work out Ed, but man, you made one great meal!"
(KidTums doesn't look so sure!)

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Ed says "Can you eat my breasts first? I was very fond of them and I'd like to share them with you."

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Tonight we crossed into Hong Kong...tomorrow Ocean Park and then Hong Kong Disneyland!

You can find an expanded version of this report here.

Thanks for reading!

--Robb Alvey
 
WOW. Everything about that trip seems perfect. The food looks delicious, the rides look awesome.
And that Splash Battle.... :D

Great report and some fantastic photos. :)
 
Skycar really looks better than I've imagined it to be.

And what's wrong with Eastern coasters and drops? That SBNO (or OBNS) coaster doesn't seem to have one drop beyond 30 degrees!
 
Just reading one of Richard Bannisters reports, apparently Mysterious island had a multi motion dark ride called "Haunted Ride", have you got any pics, descriptions, (or videos) of this? They are one fairly uncommon ride type I am interested in seeking out.
 
Gazza said:
Just reading one of Richard Bannisters reports, apparently Mysterious island had a multi motion dark ride called "Haunted Ride", have you got any pics, descriptions, (or videos) of this? They are one fairly uncommon ride type I am interested in seeking out.
I did take a full POV video of this. Personally I didn't find it very impressive. The video never synced up right with the vehicles and there seemed to be a lot of "empty" in most of the rooms.

Not sure when I'll get around to posting it or maybe it will show up on one of our DVDs.

I've got something like 45 hours worth of footage and 60,000 photos still to sort through from that trip!

--Robb
 
^Thanks for that.
So was it more of a Spiderman/DarKastle type thing, but only with 2D screens?
 
Gazza said:
^Thanks for that.
So was it more of a Spiderman/DarKastle type thing, but only with 2D screens?
It was more of a traditional dark ride with some small projections in some of the room.
 
Sounds like an epic adventure Robb. ;)

Wish I could have a few grand to spare to accompany you on the next trip.
 
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