Ohh dear, Alton really are having bad luck with this ride!
I'll add my tuppence here then as I seem to have had a worse experience than most so far.
I went along last Saturday morning with some non-goons, who told me that I'd better run to the front of the queue as soon as it opened because they 'weren't waiting around for hours for one ride when there's a whole park to do'. As a result, I think we got on the forth or fifth train of the day, so I guess the track was cold and at its roughest. First things first though, we got to near the front of the queue and waited for a 10am start for Smiler.
Initial thoughts
They were very prompt and we got to see a few empty test runs through the fence. The first thing that hit me was the noise. There's quite a traditional, loud 'whewww' sound as the trains pass by. The closest thing I can think of is Stealth's noise on the 'airtime' hill. The trains seem to slow down and speed up throughout the ride and the noise builds and fades in quite an odd way. The empty trains were travelling really slowly and everyone was commenting on it because they looked like they wouldn't clear some of the elements!
Music
Music is a very important part of the theme for me and I have mixed feelings about that for the Smiler. Parts of it are quite dancy with a good beat and fit in well with the rest of X-Sector and Oblivion. But the 'ha ha ha' bit over the top is the single most irritating thing I've ever heard. Yes it woks, but half an hour listening to that made me have RAGE! It didn't matter though because the (what we now know to be accidental) dueling lifthills was fantastic to watch and kept all the goons in the queue in awe.
Theme
I love it and I think it really, really works. It fits in X-Sector with the military feel, and yes it is a bit budgety in places, but I love the little touches like the under-lighting on the handrails in the inside queue, the optical illusion text in the outdoor queue that you can only piece together as you get closer to the ride (it reminds me of Felice Varinion's artwork of which I'm a huge fan). I'm a sucker for optical illusion gimmicks and lapped up all that stuff, especially the creepy exit from the ride which also provides lots of places to hide and leap out on your friends! The queueline is a bit sucky - it's concrete and it's basically a giant cage - but you are literally inches from the ride itself and there are constantly trains flying overhead in all directions, so it's actually quite fab in my opinion. It was by this stage already flooded though, and there was a TV above the indoor queue entrance that already appeared to be water damaged.
Ride
Now we get to the problem... As I said, it was early in the day, and from what I've learnt, experiences of different trains vary wildly. However, pretty much all of the ride once you leave the indoor section is rattly as ****!!! Its not brain shaking in your skull in the same way as Saw, but good old-fashioned the track feels messed up type of shaking that just screams Gerstlauer. My non-goon friends said it was really rough too, suggesting the track might have been 'ribbed for our displeasure'! I was expecting it to be a bit rough, but not that bad, that early on. Then there was a section near the end (which others seem to suggest was the exit to the cobra roll) with a violent head-bashing moment. Also, you totally don't notice the marmaliser what with all the inversions going on.
Things I liked include the indoor section with the barrel roll around a corner which is wonderfully disorientating.
Views from the lift hills across the park and of the Towers are stonkingly beautiful.
There are nice pops of airtime across the hills.
The pacing is interesting. The constant fast then slow allows you to enjoy each element and builds anticipation.
The dueling lift hills are FAB and reminds me of my darling Gnash!!!!
Overall it was too rough for me to enjoy it despite really liking some of the gimmicks of this ride. My friends didn't feel they could be bothered with a re-ride, even once we learnt the single rider queue was up and running and supposedly only had a 45 minute queue (although I can't verify that). They opted instead to queue an hour for their favorite ride in the park...Air!!!