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WTF Merlin?

I’ve tried to bite my tongue on the ‘stargazing pods’ for a while now but this is a complete shower of ****. I could build my own one of these sheds for less than the £123 required to stay in one and I could rock up and plonk it in the car park on a trailer and stay whenever I ****ing wanted!

The whole ‘stargazing’ name really bugs me as well, you can’t stargaze because there’s a **** wooden roof in the way? Shove a plastic or glass panel in atleast so you can actually see the stars surely?!

They can’t sell out their other hotels and genuinely think people will want to still pay a fortune to sleep in a small cramped shed, the sheer arrogance is astonishing.

The best thing for all parties would be to have a really big bonfire at the fireworks and burn the things.
 
Ben said:
It’s almost like they knew they were gonna get slated when they limited the word count you can have in the free text section...
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Totally this! I was on a right roll, but then they told me I was only allowed 30 words.
Bruh, 30 words doesn't even scratch the surface of what's wrong with that place!
 
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In fairness, free text reesponse should always have word / character limits. The point of them is to gather information quickly and effectively to see what people's unprompted responses include. I'd be very surprised if anyone fully read them.

Do agree that 15 and even 30 words isn't long enough though. Should more be the 100-200 region.
 
^Agreed. That's a well worded, concise post. Merlin would be lucky if they got anything like that. :p That said, you're still over the 15 and 30 word limits.
JoshC. said:
In fairness, free text reesponse should always have word / character limits. The point of them is to gather information quickly and effectively to see what people's unprompted responses include. I'd
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:p
 
To be fair, Gardaland will always have a special place in my heart just for buying that thing... device... coaster... whatever you prefer. Especially in combination with the theme they chose for it (which probably originates in the similar pleasure a visit to a sawmill would provide, compared to riding this coaster).
 
I love how out of all the possible indicators that there could be, they are bringing up a reduction in queue times and actually believe that they have a point. Like, how did this go down in front of a judge?

"You can clearly see how the decrease of Smiler's average queue time from 120 to 100 minutes is a hefty burden to shoulder for our business. To explain this further, we have prepared a 107-slide powerpoint that will leave no questions unanswered about how our business is entirely dependant on fasttrack-sales."
 
caffeine_demon said:
I see alton towers have released their opening hours - and again, 4pm closing at off peak times

dunno whether to :D or :( or :mad:
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4 P.M closures in the middle of summer is honestly pathetic. 6? Fine. 5? Acceptable if stretching it. 4? Come on, it's still afternoon.
 
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No self-respecting park should operate for less than a standard working day, but my opinion is that no park should shut before the sun sets* (and should open at 10am).

*At least, not in the 60°/-60° latitude zones.
 
4PM is really bad. But maybe they'll change them up again like they used to do almost every year to appear they've "listened" to visitors lol.

In other news I've been to the Waterpark already and saw their Stargazing pods on the fields. How much is it again to basically spend a night in a glorified shed?
 
I guess the real question is whether you guys would rather it was the US way of just straight up not being open at off-peak times, or closing at 4?

I think 4pm closes are the lesser of evils.

Anyone know what Alton's "break even" visitor numbers are?
 
Joey said:
I guess the real question is whether you guys would rather it was the US way of just straight up not being open at off-peak times, or closing at 4?

I think 4pm closes are the lesser of evils.

Anyone know what Alton's "break even" visitor numbers are?
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If we had US style openings where the park was open till 9/10?! Yeah definitely that. Close that bitch on weekdays, give me late openings anyday.
 
Crazycoaster said:
If we had US style openings where the park was open till 9/10?! Yeah definitely that. Close that bitch on weekdays, give me late openings anyday.
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Have you ever tried to plan a US park trip and you're forced to do it during peak season when it's hot as balls and the parks are busy cuz otherwise they just ain't open? Like, I really wanna do a September trip. But I can't. Because nothing is open mid week.

I dunno, man. I dunno. We had it pretty cushty for a long time with our parks open daily from March-Nov and no car parking fees and all that... Turning sour now.
 
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