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WTF Merlin?

I went to Towers for the first time in a while recently. Was laughing so much at the butchered signage/window stickers at Burger Kitchen.
Have to be pretty ashamed of themselves to have to cut pieces out of their sign because they cant say 100% breast meat or whatever now.

The food was pretty dire too, I have low standards and that was dreadful. Crap touchscreens, miserable staff, wierd tasting chicken, small portions for the price.
I noticed theyve enclosed all the kitchen as well, just a small opening for food to be handed out. Probably that way to hide a row of microwaves.
 
The new mobile RAP system in place at Chessington is... interesting.

As a disabled person with crab claw hands, I don't exactly love standing around with my phone in hand or using it on the move/in crowded spaces. Not uncommon for me to throw the thing on the floor for no apparent reason. That was a layer of stress I could have lived without. The fact that my mobile telephone device is also a few years old now and starting to lack somewhat in the battery life department didn't help. It's a very typically 'meh' Merlin experience that clearly hasn't had a great deal of thought put into it. They couldn't even be bothered to create an app, you have to do it through your browser. I didn't go all Karen but I had some words with a manager who to be fair, seemed happy to take my criticisms on board. The key to accessibility is actually listening to us when something isn't good enough. They get points from me for showing willing on that front.

Luckily, the system seemed to be crashing all over the place all day so we barely scored any minutes to wait the entire day. The general attitude with staff was "this system is a pain in my arse, just get on lol". The park was quite busy, Croc Drop and Scorpion Express both dead all day, Fury went down for a while around 1PM and Tiger Rock died completely around 3PM. Just as we were about to get on it. I was absolutely boiling at that point and neeeeded that ride.

The Land of Jumanji is really shocking. Ostrich thingy running with one op, the guy didn't seem to be in any hurry whatsoever to do his job. Didn't bother with the other one but my god - Ostrich is a very tame/poor example of whatever that ride type is called! The thing barely bounces! The ops are doing their very best on MM but are clearly already struggling and appeared very stressed. I dread to think what the area will be like in the summer holidays. The park in general felt like it was barely coping with the numbers it had yesterday. Whilst kinda busy, they shouldn't have been struggling as much as they clearly were. MM is also a bit crap. It's fun, but way too short. I wouldn't even call it half a coaster and the helix is... just.... why? 😂 They are capable of so much more. The whole area is a slight embarrassment and just not what the park needed at all.

The park generally feels tired, slightly cramped. A lot of old, unreliable rides that chew through queues like their dentures are loose. I feel really sorry for the staff. They really are trying their best but it's obvious that everyone there knows what an absolute s***show the place is.

It was my first trip to the park in 10 years. Last time I said I wouldn't be rushing back until they build something at least half way substantial. I've left this time with exactly the same feeling.
 
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Fleetwood_Mack said:
The new mobile RAP system in place at Chessington is... interesting.

As a disabled person with crab claw hands, I don't exactly love standing around with my phone in hand or using it on the move/in crowded spaces. Not uncommon for me to throw the thing on the floor for no apparent reason. That was a layer of stress I could have lived without. The fact that my mobile telephone device is also a few years old now and starting to lack somewhat in the battery life department didn't help. It's a very typically 'meh' Merlin experience that clearly hasn't had a great deal of thought put into it. They couldn't even be bothered to create an app, you have to do it through your browser. I didn't go all Karen but I had some words with a manager who to be fair, seemed happy to take my criticisms on board. The key to accessibility is actually listening to us when something isn't good enough. They get points from me for showing willing on that front.

Luckily, the system seemed to be crashing all over the place all day so we barely scored any minutes to wait the entire day. The general attitude with staff was "this system is a pain in my arse, just get on lol". The park was quite busy, Croc Drop and Scorpion Express both dead all day, Fury went down for a while around 1PM and Tiger Rock died completely around 3PM. Just as we were about to get on it. I was absolutely boiling at that point and neeeeded that ride.

The Land of Jumanji is really shocking. Ostrich thingy running with one op, the guy didn't seem to be in any hurry whatsoever to do his job. Didn't bother with the other one but my god - Ostrich is a very tame/poor example of whatever that ride type is called! The thing barely bounces! The ops are doing their very best on MM but are clearly already struggling and appeared very stressed. I dread to think what the area will be like in the summer holidays. The park in general felt like it was barely coping with the numbers it had yesterday. Whilst kinda busy, they shouldn't have been struggling as much as they clearly were. MM is also a bit crap. It's fun, but way too short. I wouldn't even call it half a coaster and the helix is... just.... why? They are capable of so much more. The whole area is a slight embarrassment and just not what the park needed at all.

The park generally feels tired, slightly cramped. A lot of old, unreliable rides that chew through queues like their dentures are loose. I feel really sorry for the staff. They really are trying their best but it's obvious that everyone there knows what an absolute s***show the place is.

It was my first trip to the park in 10 years. Last time I said I wouldn't be rushing back until they build something at least half way substantial. I've left this time with exactly the same feeling.
Click to expand...
Good to see some less-than-glowing response to Jumanji. All I've seen so far (not that I've really paid too much attention) are posts about how amazing it is.

I was getting flashback to when Wild Asia was new and people were claiming it as the best themed area in the UK when in reality there was just an off the shelf disk'o plonked on some concrete and a few mangy parakeets.
 
So yesterday I finally rode ghost train
What a absolute, crappy disappointment of a ride
I used my RAP Pass and we were waiting for 15-20 mins to be let inside

In the next room, these tv screens were playing over and over again
Initially, it seemed like it was building up tension for something
Then nothing happened
And instead we got told that there was a technical error
They left us in that scorching room for 15-20 mins
When we’ve already been outside in 26-27 degree heat
To Conclude
Lacklustre of scares, actors rambling on too much
I will say the theming is great but this attraction should’ve been demolished after its last instalment
Merlin wtf were you thinking
Let’s Hope Exodus isn’t a disappointment


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
gavin said:
Good to see some less-than-glowing response to Jumanji. All I've seen so far (not that I've really paid too much attention) are posts about how amazing it is.

I was getting flashback to when Wild Asia was new and people were claiming it as the best themed area in the UK when in reality there was just an off the shelf disk'o plonked on some concrete and a few mangy parakeets.
Click to expand...
I think I must have read too many "don't worry, it looks a lot better in person. Very immersive hun! Coaster is surprisingly fabulous!" posts because I was underwhelmed by all of it. Then you've got an almost 20 year old Dragon's Fury right next door putting a brand new B&M to shame in the thrill department. Lol. That thing is beautifully violent on a hot day ❤️
 
Christian said:
I never understood why Merlin would use Aramark for F&B. Would certainly be better if they did it themselves.
Click to expand...
Having just returned from visiting several Swedish parks,the food options available at all the parks visited were head and shoulders above anything offered at the uk parks,and the prices were cheaper too!
All uk parks need to do a lot better!
 
Tonkso said:
I guess this is why the app notified me earlier that you can go back for free if you're at the park today...
Click to expand...

I got that too, was a bit confused as we are taking my son there for the first time next week. Hopefully things are up and running again by then :(
 
Does anyone have an update on this? I've been checking the app queue times each day and they still seem to have a lot of rides closed.
 
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