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Gay Parenting

Oh gods! Yes, I did mean you! So sorry luv. (fixed it)

Gods, end of day and trying not to get caught being on the phone causes some minor mess ups. ^-^;;

Whats wrong with Ninas fashion? I admit the bald fetish of hers is odd, but Raja looks odd but fab at times, just like Nina did in her season.

Switching between the hideouts'...
 
UGH for people saying gay parents= gay kids, where the heck is your logic? That's like saying of you have straight parents, you're definitely going to be straight.

I'm not gonna make a huge argument over it but I think it's fine. Like people have said, if the parents can provide the love and bring the child up properly, I don't see why it shouldn't be okay. The only reason I can see it being somewhat of a problem is if the child was opposite sex than the parents and they didn't have a mom or dad to talk to about "girl" or "boy" things. But other than that it's perfectly okay and does NOT mean the kid will be gay.
 
What I see from these comments is that most of you have not had children yourselves and those who have children are thinking more logically, to think that teenagers can give a rational answer would be foolish, as they are not old enough to think outside the envelope.

I have no reason to doubt that gay people would not make good parents, when I was younger then yes it would have been frowned on but times change, even I could have been misconstrued as being homophobic when I was a teenager, but that was how people thought back then. I however have grown up, and now have many gay friends and believe that gay people do at least think about it rather than just doing it(being parents that is), better to have gay parents who know they genuinely want a child an can provide the love and stability in a Childs life than a teenage girl who gets pregnant and has a child as a fashion accessory when they are clearly not.
The child would be planned and whether the child was by donor or adoption, it doesn’t matter. It is the love you give to the child that matters and the way the child will mould itself into society. The child will know by its own feeling whether it will be gay or not, this is also lead by the fact it will mix with both sexes(unless parents choose not to) at school, and education in schools is not based around 2 parent families as I have learned through my job in playschool and the training we are given “all children are treated as individuals” , children bought up by one parent or 2 of either sex are not more likely to be influenced by that particular sex, they will still have interaction from grandparents, godparents, aunties and uncles, and other family members also teachers of both sexes, so to say that just the parents will influence there feeling and gender is fed from all avenues.
Mark you still have plenty of time to consider your options, you do not have a biological clock to worry about, so if it does turn out to be the right thing for you and Marc in the future then I think you two would make very good parents, you both have a very caring nature and genuinely care about others and their feelings. All parent needs support from other family members at times so the buck would not stop with you two if you both have a strong family behind you as well for support, there isn’t a book written that can tell you how to bring up children, but advice from others that have done helps you make the decisions for your own child. I have lost count of the times Leigh stayed with his grandparents or his godmother. We were not perfect parents but we are proud the way Leigh has turned out, he has a few faults but none that I can put my finger on inherited from us (well a few bad habits maybe) it is all down to life experiences that mould the child. He was bullied at school and was (I mean that in the past tense) shy but now he has gone out in the world, he has grown up, as is what he is through this. But this was nothing to so with gender, or sexuality.

Sorry this was a bit of a ramble but if it feel right go for it.....
 
Ian said:
Sorry, but no. I think that a child should have a mother and father mainly because it's in the child's best interests.
I don't think child should have a mother and father, just two adults that will love and care for it.
 
I like how no one read my posts, saw one person misunderstand, and run with it.

My thoughts in bullet form:
- Homosexuality is both genetic and environmental and everything in between. Different people are homosexual for different reasons, and combinations of reasons.
- Children brought up by homosexual parents would be more likely to be homosexual themselves, because they would be more open to the idea amongst other factors. That is not the same as "all children brought up by homosexuals would turn out gay" or "only homosexual parents cause kids to be gay". Logical fallacy.
- So **** what? Good parenting matters, being gay doesn't.

Being gay is NOT a choice, it is something you are born with, and I'm not going to argue about it.
- Define "choice".
- Show me scientific evidence.

Is liking roller coasters a choice? Is having a favourite colour a choice? Is liking and disliking certain foods a choice? I certainly wouldn't call any of these things "choices', but they weren't **** genetic either.

If number/sexuality of parents had any relation to the sexuality of children, then there wouldn't have been any gay children born for thousands of years, including right up until now.
Frankly I'm appalled that you committed the fallacy. For. ****. Sake.

X can make Y more common, without Y only ever occurring because of X.

Where's Stone when you **** need him.

THAT is the black and white thought process I was talking about.

I've spent my entire life being wound up by people who come out with **** comparable to "all dogs are mammals, so all mammals are dogs!"
 
I'm not going to go massively into detail because there is no point and I will end up saying stuff I will regret.

I am getting tired of your it is a choice adamancy. It drives me insane that you think you know me personally, as a gay man, well enough to know what is in my mind. I have said it several times that I made no choice about it and explained it.

You call people out for having a black and white thought process about things but you are frequently guilty of exactly the same thing.

I am leaving it at that. I don't wish to discuss it further.
 
Mark said:
I'm not going to go massively into detail because there is no point and I will end up saying stuff I will regret.

I am getting tired of your it is a choice adamancy. It drives me insane that you think you know me personally, as a gay man, well enough to know what is in my mind. I have said it several times that I made no choice about it and explained it.

You call people out for having a black and white thought process about things but you are frequently guilty of exactly the same thing.

I am leaving it at that.
Mark, I'm being the most open minded by not asserting that it's cause is a specific factor by not letting my personal emotions and ties to the subject lead me away from the evidence or lack there of. I could not be less black and white on the subject. I do not know what causes homosexuality, and frankly, I don't care. My entire point was that it's irrelevant to the topic at hand. I'm gay, it doesn't **** offend me that this fact might be environmental. It doesn't feel like a "choice", but I'd be ignorant to outright state that it is not a "choice" of sorts. That isn't something anyone can objectively know.

Plus, I never said it was a choice, I said it was a combination of both factors. "Environmental" doesn't mean "choice". Is... depression a choice?

"Choice" is a whimsical term that can mean anything anyway. Choosing what to have for breakfast or what to have on tv is a very different kind of choice from choosing a favourite colour or how you react emotionally to a situation. Fundamentally though, they all boil down to the same kind of "choice"... The kind we "can't" help.

And lastly, for the 100th time, when I referred to "black and white" way of thinking I was getting wound up over the constant affirming the consequent fallacy and it's relatives.

Like I keep saying, you're misunderstanding.
 
Well it reads as 'im right, you're all wrong and I refuse to acknowledge anyone elses views on the matter and instead I will insult their inteligence. That may not be the way you intend it, but that is the way it reads.

Right, can we get back to talk about the parenting aspect itself now...
 
Joey, the problem is absolutely to do with the way to present your argument. You were insulting to Intricks and presented your argument as solid fact. That is why people got so wound up. Look...

Joey said:
My thoughts in bullet form:
- Homosexuality is both genetic and environmental and everything in between. Different people are homosexual for different reasons, and combinations of reasons.
- Children brought up by homosexual parents would be more likely to be homosexual themselves, because they would be more open to the idea amongst other factors. That is not the same as "all children brought up by homosexuals would turn out gay" or "only homosexual parents cause kids to be gay". Logical fallacy.

Being gay is NOT a choice, it is something you are born with, and I'm not going to argue about it.
- Define "choice".
- Show me scientific evidence.

At the end there, you ask to be shown "some scientific evidence". Above you state your belief that homosexual parents are more likely to raise homosexual children. Yet you lay that out as a conclusion to your thought process, yet back it up with no evidence.

Even worse...
Joey said:
I do not know what causes homosexuality, and frankly, I don't care.

Yet you're willing to strongly assert a point of view, and insult somebody who has a differing opinion to you when you actually have no idea. Then you accuse others of black and white thinking and having fallacious arguments, when your have a foundation of water. I was deliberately facetious with my argument to point out how yours has no standing in any form of scientific data or studies.

You have a "belief" Joey. You're entitled to your belief, but don't start yelling at people who disagree with you taking the "argument high ground", especially when their foundation is stronger.

a = hetero male, b = hetero female, c = gay male, d = gay female.

We know (using rough figures from studies) that around 15% of the population is gay. In terms of couples bringing up children, we know that:
a+b = 85% a/b and 15% c/d
a = 85% a/b and 15% c/d
b = 85% a/b and 15% c/d

We have no other evidence at all. You're suggesting (for example) that:
c + c = 80% a/b and 20% c/d
d + d = 80% a/b and 20% c/d

What we would expect though is that if parental factors caused sexual preference changes, above we'd see:
a+b = 85% a/b and 15% c/d
a = 80% a/b and 15% of c/d and 5% of a who never really have a sexual preference.
b = 80% a/b and 15% c/d and 5% of b who never really have a sexual preference.

Okay, the numbers are made up, but that is the logical kind of play through of your theory. We should see variations depending on parental upbringing, but we don't have figures to support any of this, yet we do know that the majority of people have a sexual preference that is inherent from when they are incredibly young. Whatever the sexuality switch is, it's turned on very early.

Of course, we do have evidence that you can't "reverse" sexuality. Programs designed to turn gay men to heterosexual ones invariably fail, and the ones that succeed are due to psychological and sexual repression rather than "removing gayness". No evidence points towards a psychological environmental factor creating sexual preference.

Absolutely, there could be environmental factors in terms of particular chemical releases or interactions at specific times of physiological development, but that's just chemistry and biology at work, and it's a switch that once activated, can't be turned off - like calcification of your teeth, or your likelihood of developing depression. There's no evidence to support anything beyond either genome or biological factors in the development of sexual preference.

Unless of course there is, in which case present it and I shall happily change my mind :)
 
I can see what Joey is trying to say...

I honestly do think that for some people it's 'nature' and for others it's 'nurture'.

For example, I had a VERY normal upbringing/childhood and turned out a fag. I'm guessing it's the same for you, Mark. Plus, my uncle is gay so it's obviously 'in the family'.

However, I also know a couple of gay guys who were raped by an older man when they were very young (one was 8 and the other was 9) and ended up liking cock. This may be a coincidence, but I think there are underlying psychological issues there...



As for gay parenting, I'm really not sure. I do think about eventually having kids every now and again, but I really don't think it's going to happen for me to be honest.

Obviously I'm all for gay rights, but I think me having kids would just be selfish. I'd feel too guilty about the stigma the kid would get, and I wouldn't be happy with any of the ways to 'obtain' a child;

1) Adopt - Nah. If I were to bother I'd HAVE to have my own.
2) Surrogacy - Too messy. They always end up wanting to keep it in the end. I wouldn't trust a randomer to do it, and a close friend doing it would just ruin the friendship eventually. It's a delusional idea.
3) Turn straight and do it the 'real' way - Ha. Have you met me?

So... yeah. Unless I randomly fall in love with a woman, it's not happening. I'd never rule anything out completely, but it's very unlikely ;).
 
furie said:
Joey, the problem is absolutely to do with the way to present your argument. You were insulting to Intricks and presented your argument as solid fact. That is why people got so wound up. Look...
Intricks deserves the insult because in every single topic where he's replied to me, he's twisted my words from the outset and thought in the most black and white manner. If you look at my ORIGINAL post, BEFORE intricks wound me up, there was no such problem. So, for the record, intricks and I have were having an argument where I deemed his inability to look at what I was saying without assuming it was negative BEFORE this topic. He presents the same kind of opinion in every topic. The issue is that when someone says "homosexuality is not a choice" (which, I never did, but for the purpose of this explanation lets use it because it's the best one) people seem to think that = "I hate gays and believe they should have no rights!!"

At the end there, you ask to be shown "some scientific evidence". Above you state your belief that homosexual parents are more likely to raise homosexual children. Yet you lay that out as a conclusion to your thought process, yet back it up with no evidence.

Even worse...
Joey said:
I do not know what causes homosexuality, and frankly, I don't care.

Yet you're willing to strongly assert a point of view, and insult somebody who has a differing opinion to you when you actually have no idea. Then you accuse others of black and white thinking and having fallacious arguments, when your have a foundation of water. I was deliberately facetious with my argument to point out how yours has no standing in any form of scientific data or studies.
That all happened after people were already assuming what I was saying and arguing against points I never made. But anyway...

The problem with the rest of your point is that any "non choice" element of homosexuality would require scientific proof. The points I were making don't/can't be proved in the same way, because they are to do with the mind. It's reasonable to ask for proof of the geneticness of homosexuality if someone is going to assert it as a fact. I wasn't asserting anything as a fact, I was challenging everyone else who was doing it.

As for the "I don't care" comment... Does that not suggest that it is of no relevance what causes homosexuality? And then you start to think "oh, I wonder why if Joey has this point of view is everyone arguing at him, maybe we should go back and see if Intricks had any reason to get wound up".

My pov actually has a lot more scientific evidence behind it anyway. There isn't enough evidence to support the idea that homosexuality is just genetic. Homosexuality should be thought of as a symptom of various "problems", for want of a better term. In nature, it is primarily documented as a behavioural thing in social animals, NOT as a "genetic" thing.

a = hetero male, b = hetero female, c = gay male, d = gay female.

We know (using rough figures from studies) that around 15% of the population is gay. In terms of couples bringing up children, we know that:
a+b = 85% a/b and 15% c/d
a = 85% a/b and 15% c/d
b = 85% a/b and 15% c/d

We have no other evidence at all. You're suggesting (for example) that:
c + c = 80% a/b and 20% c/d
d + d = 80% a/b and 20% c/d

What we would expect though is that if parental factors caused sexual preference changes, above we'd see:
a+b = 85% a/b and 15% c/d
a = 80% a/b and 15% of c/d and 5% of a who never really have a sexual preference.
b = 80% a/b and 15% c/d and 5% of b who never really have a sexual preference.
Wait, "and 5% of b who never really have a sexual preference."? I'm **** with reading data in this format, so if I misunderstood, correct me... But, your argument is based on the idea that 5% of people should have "no sexual preference"? Erm, they'd not be gay, but they wouldn't lack a "sexual preference?" That's like saying that if someone never became depressed, they's completely lack a personality. I don't even know where to begin with this it's so stupid. I must have misunderstood your argument. So I'll let you re-explain, lmao.

Okay, the numbers are made up, but that is the logical kind of play through of your theory. We should see variations depending on parental upbringing, but we don't have figures to support any of this, yet we do know that the majority of people have a sexual preference that is inherent from when they are incredibly young. Whatever the sexuality switch is, it's turned on very early.
Really? See, I'd have thought from just worldly experience and speaking to people that most people first are attracted to others at around puberty age. So I wanna know how we "know that the majority of people" are turned on, as you put it, earlier. :p

Of course, we do have evidence that you can't "reverse" sexuality. Programs designed to turn gay men to heterosexual ones invariably fail, and the ones that succeed are due to psychological and sexual repression rather than "removing gayness". No evidence points towards a psychological environmental factor creating sexual preference.
You seem to miss the point that my entire point is that homosexuality has a variety of causes. One exception to your rule (me? I'll do) would prove my point. So that's all we need.

The very fact that homosexuality is on the rise shows that with acceptability, more people are coming out. Now, I'd say a fair number of people who would have been gay today, didn't allow themselves to even go there mentally in the past. The mind is most certainly powerful enough to make "sexual repression" look the same as "removing gayness" enough to question is there really is a distinction at all.

**** I need to go to work, back later... lol.
 
From someone of the older generation who knows 50 year old can tell you that these people got married had kids and saw guys behind their wives back. People come out now due to the fact they can do without getting sacked or getting their heads kicked in. Stats of people coming out do not work as times have changed, it does not mean people did not take action on their feelings.

These topics get to me when people start saying it's choice, I wish years ago I had the choice. I tried to be straight and simply could not.
 
This is starting to turn more into a religious style debate now :|. My own opinion of this mini argument is it a choice in some form. I don't like the idea that my preferences to things are predetermined. I do agree on some of the things both Joey and Furie have said but in the end... This is still about gay people having kids so yeah as long as they care about it then meh.
 
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