Matt N
CF Legend
Hi guys. Merlin currently owns 4 theme parks in the UK; Alton Towers, Thorpe Park, Chessington World of Adventures and Legoland Windsor. They are arguably the UK’s 4 most popular theme parks, but I’ve noticed that there generally seems to be a lot of disagreement with some of the decisions Merlin make at the parks (I personally think they’re doing a fantastic job on the whole, even though there are some things I’d do differently, but each to their own!), so I’d be intrigued to know; if you were in charge of the 4 UK Merlin theme parks, what would you do with each one?
I’ll get the ball rolling with what I would personally do, listing each park in turn.
Alton Towers
I encourage you to put on your own theme park management hats, and think of some things you’d really like to do at each UK Merlin park. So, what would you personally do if you were in charge?
I’ll get the ball rolling with what I would personally do, listing each park in turn.
Alton Towers
- I would build a roller coaster with a heavy focus on airtime. I feel as though this is something that the park lacks at present; even though the park has numerous rides with airtime (and in some cases, such as Wicker Man, quite a lot of airtime!), I don’t really think they have a properly airtime-focused coaster, and there are many roller coaster models available on the market that could satisfy this brief. In terms of a more specific ride type, I’d probably go with an Intamin LSM Launch Coaster, as I do feel that a multi-launch would work really well at the park, as well as satisfying the brief of airtime. Either that, or some form of RMC. In terms of where it would go, I’d personally either go with the area at the top of Forbidden Valley, currently occupied by Blade, Ripsaw’s empty site, Sub-Terra, and the food outlets (which would unfortunately necessitate the removal of Blade), or I’d possibly remove the Congo River Rapids and put it on that site; it could create a really nice Klugheim-esque vibe within Katanga Canyon (what with the thrill coaster joined with the family coaster), with lots of interactions with the Runaway Mine Train!
- Expanding upon the point about potentially removing Congo River Rapids, I would also install a new water ride of some sort. I’m not sure what kind, but I think a Mack water coaster would work quite well; I’ve heard that the newer models do have sensors that adjust the wetness depending on the temperature (correct me if I’m wrong), so that would be well suited to the British climate. You could also do some really interesting things with it; I’ve always wanted to see a full-circuit, launched water coaster, so maybe that would be a fun world’s first for Alton to try?
- I would also install a few flat rides, as there are quite a few places you could put them, and not that many left at Alton. In terms of what kinds, I’d personally go for a combination of more thrilling flat rides, as well as things with a broader appeal; I think a frisbee/gyro swing of some form would work well, and maybe a Zamperla Disk’O, for something with slightly broader appeal?
- Furthermore, I would convert the Alton Towers Dungeon back into a family dark ride of some sort. As much as I’m sure that the Alton Towers Dungeon is fantastic if you’re into that sort of thing (I’m not into live actor attractions at all, personally), I think that that ride system would really work well as a family ride with more universal appeal, like what it was back before the Dungeons were a thing.
- While we’re on the topic of dark rides, I might also potentially replace Duel with a spooky-themed trackless dark ride. I’ll admit that I’ve always really liked the idea of a spooky-themed trackless dark ride, and I think Duel’s space would have a huge amount of potential for one. I can just imagine a lovely, ambient, immersive spooky dark ride working so well in Gloomy Wood!
- Finally, I’d either relocate or remove Spinball Whizzer in order to necessitate expansion of CBeebies Land onto that area. At the moment, it just kind of sits out on its own, and there’s something quite satisfying about the thought of CBeebies nicely fitting into that entire corner of the park.
- Firstly, I’d build Thorpe Park a B&M hyper coaster, utilising the island next to Swarm and the land around the back of the park. As with Alton Towers, the park currently lacks a true airtime machine, as well as a non-inverting thrill coaster of a substantial length; I personally feel that a B&M hyper coaster would tick both of these boxes, while also being very reliable, high throughput, and providing the park with a true icon, in the same vein as the Big One is for Blackpool Pleasure Beach. I might make it big enough to be the UK’s tallest roller coaster, topping the Big One, but I even feel that a smaller B&M hyper of around 200ft, similar to Mako, would work fantastically.
- In terms of a coaster, I’d also replace Logger’s Leap with one, although I’d replace it with something somewhat smaller in scale; a more moderate thrill, if you like, which is again something that I feel Thorpe Park would benefit from. In terms of specifically what, I feel that a GCI wooden roller coaster would work well; it would suit the Western theme of Old Town quite nicely, while also striking a nice balance of thrill and family appeal, with a low 1.2m height restriction (I think some GCIs might even be 1.1m, actually!). I’d probably build something more similar in scale and intensity to Joris as opposed to a massive beast like Troy or Wodan, as I feel something like that would still be very popular amongst thrill seekers while also tapping into the family thrill market somewhat, which I’d argue that no current coaster at Thorpe really does. I could even make it dual-tracked, like Joris is; that would add a nice unique feature to the ride, while also doubling capacity!
- Furthermore, I would either remove or majorly rework Derren Brown’s Ghost Train. I know that it was expensive, and is also still fairly new, but the ride doesn’t seem to have been greatly successful thus far, and is also somewhat of a weight on Thorpe’s shoulders from a technical standpoint, what with all of the VR and effects to maintain. If it were possible, I would reuse the ride system that’s already there to make something with a slightly more universal appeal, as opposed to the adult horror attraction that it is currently. I get the impression that the ride system is actually very technically impressive, with a lot of potential, so I think it could possibly make a very good family dark ride!
- I would also make the park into more of a resort, and push the Island Like No Other branding a lot more. I must admit, I’m actually a fan of the whole Island identity with the IMAScore audio; I think it’s quite clean, fresh, and suits the park well, so I’d push it a lot more, and I think making the park into more of a resort, with a larger hotel or two and maybe some other activities, such as an indoor waterpark like Alton Towers has, or a mini golf course or high ropes course, would be a great idea. Maybe even a nice entertainment complex. I feel like something like this would really boost Thorpe Park’s universal appeal; as well as their core thrill seeker market, making themselves into more of a resort might also make them appeal to families too.
- This one might possibly be controversial, but I’d also remove the beach and the water slides (Depth Charge/Wet Wet Wet). In terms of what I’d replace them with, I’d probably go with some form of family ride package with a beach theme, to keep up the whole beach vibe that the area has currently and fit in with the island theme of the park, as well as boosting the amount of rides the park has for families. I’m thinking a couple of family flat rides, possibly a mid-ground family coaster too; I think a spinning coaster would be a nice fit at Thorpe. Something like Storm Chaser at Paultons. And maybe some sort of water ride too; perhaps a small log flume would fit nicely, to fill the void left by Logger’s Leap?
- I would replace Slammer with a new thrilling flat ride. However, I’d also go with something that while thrilling, has a slightly more universal appeal, and a certain customisability that would differentiate it from Thorpe’s other flat rides; I’d personally put in a Gerstlauer Sky Roller there, as that is a ride that the rider can pretty much make as thrilling or as sedate as they want, which really widens the appeal. I believe these rides also have pretty low height restrictions, correct me if I’m wrong? I could theme it to a water tower, or a totem pole or something, to fit in with Old Town. I’m not really sure.
- Finally, I’d remove The Walking Dead: The Ride and replace it with either a dark ride of some sort or a new enclosed roller coaster. I reckon a trackless dark ride would fit nicely, or maybe an Intamin Multidimensional Coaster; something enclosed and well-themed, that appeals to the whole family, kind of like what Movie Park Germany is building for this year.
- Admittedly, I’m not as familiar with Chessington (my last visit was in 2014), but I’d personally give the park a proper entrance area, with some nice shops and maybe a nice centrepiece drawing you in. From memory, Chessington’s current entrance just sort of puts you straight in the park next to Dragon’s Fury, so I think it would be nice to give the guest a real welcome experience.
- In terms of rides, my first priority would be to put some sort of new roller coaster in. I think a family launch coaster of some form would work nicely; maybe something like Juvelen from Intamin, or maybe a Gerstlauer creation like FireChaser Express? The intention with this would be to make it Chessington’s new flagship coaster, something for all the family, and really heavily-themed. In terms of where it would go, I’d probably put it on the big lawn by Land of the Dragons.
- This one might be a little controversial, but with this new headline coaster being installed, I would personally remove Vampire. I’ll admit that I’m not personally a huge fan of it, it’s getting quite old, and it annoys the neighbours near the park due to its location and the noise it generates. In terms of what I’d replace it with; taking into account the noise issues, I’d go with some sort of enclosed roller coaster. In terms of what type, I’d personally go with something that offers potential for a really immersive experience coaster, with some cool tricks on offer. I reckon a Mack Inverted Powered Coaster could work nicely, as it would provide an immersive experience, would also keep the suspended seating position of Vampire, and also offer quite a unique twist on the ride type. Maybe theme it to a tour of a vampire’s castle or something?
- I’d also put in a new water ride somewhere within the park; in terms of proper water rides, they only currently have Tiger Rock (some might count Gruffalo too, but I’d call that more of a dark ride than a proper water ride). I reckon a rapids ride might work nicely, personally; I’d maybe put it on that big plot of land behind Wild Asia, and give it some nice Asian theming. I’d make sure to offer a nice element of chance, as a lot of my favourite rapids rides have, with plenty of different effects and waves, and I’d probably put a drop in there too, similar to what Infinity Falls at SeaWorld Orlando has.
- While we’re in Wild Asia, I’d personally remove the indoor play area (I’ve forgotten what it’s called; isn’t it something like Temple of Mayhem?) and replace it with a dark ride, more specifically a Vekoma Madhouse. I think a Madhouse themed around a booby-trapped temple or something would work nicely, maybe with a nice pre-show or two to set the scene a bit a la Hex.
- As with Chessington, I’ll preface this by saying I’m not too familiar with Legoland; my only recent visit was on a very busy day in 2017, and I didn’t get to see too much of the park.
- One thing I remember from my last visit to Legoland was that the paths were all very cramped, making it difficult to move around, and it made me quite anxious. Admittedly, it might not have helped that it was a busy day in the summer, so I might not be being entirely fair in that regard, but my point still stands. What I’m leading onto is that something I would firstly do is invest a bit into the infrastructure at the park, mainly widening the paths and making it a little easier to move around the park. This would be in order to help it cope a little more easily with those busier days.
- The next thing I would do at Legoland Windsor is invest into a middle-ground family coaster of some sort, at a level of intensity above anything that they currently have. One thing I’ve always noticed about Legoland Windsor is that compared with the other Legoland parks, they seem to have a somewhat more kiddified roller coaster selection. While this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, I feel as though the addition of a more thrilling family coaster would widen the park’s appeal. If you look at some of the other Legoland parks, most of them have at least one larger family coaster. For example, Legoland Billund has Polar X-plorer, a lot of them have fairly substantial wild mouse coasters, some of the newer Dragon coasters are actually pretty large in comparison to Windsor’s. In terms of what I’d go for, I’d personally go for something along the same sort of lines as Polar X-plorer, as I think that something like that could go down very well at Legoland and be quite different to any of their other rides.
- I know this might seem oddly specific, but I’d also put in a clone of the new Lego Factory Adventure trackless dark ride being built at Legoland New York. I think it looks really cool, and I think the whole idea of having a tour of a Lego factory suits a park themed to Lego really well! In terms of where I’d put it, I’d probably try and put it near Miniland and all the other “building” type areas, so as to link all of those attractions together and create a whole “Lego building” type area of the park.
I encourage you to put on your own theme park management hats, and think of some things you’d really like to do at each UK Merlin park. So, what would you personally do if you were in charge?
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