I won't :lol:
I got OOT for the 3DS, played it for half an hour and wanted to kill myself... Then realised that was a ridiculous over exaggeration and simply took out the cartridge and put it away forever.
I've yet to play a single Zelda game that I can get through more than half an hour of before retching in tedium [/doesnotappealtomeintheslightest]
I'd love to give a decent review of Super Mario 3D land, which I've been playing on and off for the last week or so. However, I'm just kind of playing it and going through the motions. It just seems to be pointless. I'll try to explain.
With New SMB, it's a classic sideways platform game. Some very clever level design, well placed power ups and cunningly hidden bits makes it really appealing. It just really works. You then have the semi-3D map to pick a path through and unlock extra bits, etc. All the time, you're earning star coins to unlock more thing to do. There's an aim to everything you do, and it rewards replaying (both because it's fun and because you can increase your stars and unlock more).
With Mario Galaxy, you have the stunning level design and the central hub. Again, exploration is rewarded and the levels feel really cunning. You're not just getting to the end of a level to get to the next level.
Even with Super Mario 64/DS you had the exploration and on the DS version the diversion of mini-games.
Super Mario 3D Land has nothing of any kind of spark about it. It has similar map to New SMB, but it's linear. Complete a level and the next level opens up. You can go backwards to pick levels you've done before to try and increase your Star Coin count, but they're not used for anything game expanding.
Each level is 3D, kind of. It's 3D in the way that Little Big Planet is 3D (almost). The levels are mostly side scrolling types, but with depth so you can move in and out of the screen. It's a strange design choice. Most obstacles can either be walked around, or you're forced onto a single plane to tackle them. It's completely at odds with itself. It realises it's been too easy and so goes back to traditional 2D to make itself a bit more challenging.
Then some levels are completely 3D. Though you either still work on a 2D kind of plane, but the paths snake back on themselves further into the screen. Others are proper third person, with you leaping down levels with a slightly from the top view. Sometimes it mixes all the types in single level.
It never feels as though it's actually doing any of it very well though. You're trapped in this 2D/3D limbo that's slowly sucking all the fun from the game.
You've also got the new raccoon suit thing. Excellent, and it is. Once you've got it on, you'll find it had to find an excuse to ever let it go (except for the odd few places where you need to be a completely un-powered, hit to near death, tiny Mario to get at secrets). I've got the Fire Mario outfit and it's useless most of the time. You get used to having the semi-flying power and tail whip. Shooting fireballs in random directions because of the odd 3D angles just doesn't cut it. It's not even like it gives you one suit at the start of a level because that's the best, they just seemed resigned to "Raccoon all the way".
Finally (I think), is how easy the game is on the first 2 or 3 worlds. 12-18 levels where you gain at least two lives each level (you're unlucky if you lose a powerup, let alone a life). It's supposed to get tougher as the game goes on, but I may lose the will to live before I get there.
There's no real joy, no moments where you have a smile jerked out of you by a smart piece of level design, or cunning cinematic moment. There's no depth to the game, you're just grinding through the levels without respite, without meaning, without hope... Please, somebody kill me now?
So yeah, I wish I could do a full review of the game for you, but I just don't really have it in me...