Re: Derren Brown's Ghost Train (WC16) | Thorpe Park | May 2
Worst attraction I've ever been on. Absolute, utter garbage. Not scary, not thrilling, not fun... just downright boring. Hated it.
You know the Samsung VR Gear? There's a little demo you can download to play on it, a creepy room kinda thing, and
that was a million times scarier than this poxy Ghost Train. And you can do that in your own front room with a decent phone and a 70 quid headset.
And that, in a nutshell, is where the problem lies. VR doesn't belong in a theme park. At all. VR is something you'd use at home to visit, say, a 'virtual' theme park. When you're actually
at a theme park, why in the name of blue f*ck would you wanna sit in a dark room with a headset on when there's real rides and attractions whizzing around just outside?
It just doesn't make any sense.
The entire concept is fundamentally wrong.
On top of that, you've got the appalling execution, the pathetic and laughable physical effects, the bad acting from the staff and the atrocious quality of the VR graphics.
I just watched the teaser trailer again, just for a laugh, and it makes me want to kick Derren f***ing Brown square in the bollocks.
"A heart stopping experience featuring grand illusion, live action and special effects".
Really, Derren? Sorry, but it's painfully obvious how the 'grand illusion' is achieved, any idiot can see that. Being shouted at and ordered to 'panic' by some gobby teenage bint does not constitute 'live action', and I've seen better 'special effects' at a Punch & Judy show.
"
This will completely re-write the rules of what theme parks can do."
No it won't, Derren. You're a knob.
"
Over a thousand specialists have come together to create this experience."
Have they really? How come not a single one of them at any point said; "Hang on, this is gonna be sh*t. Shouldn't we be building an RMC or sumat?"
"
I believe this represents the future for theme parks across the world."
No it doesn't, Derren. The only thing this represents is what theme parks across the world should never, EVER attempt to try again. You're a knob.
So yeah, firmly and emphatically in the 'absolutely hate it' camp. Joey's and Lofty's reviews are spot on.
What a tragic waste of an opportunity.
But here's some good news; apart from Derren Brown's Giant Turd, we had an absolute stonker of a day at the park
NEWSFLASH: Thorpe Park in 'Every Ride Open' Shocker!!
It's true, seen it with my own eyes I did. On Monday 19th Sept 2016, every ride was open, at least for a portion of the day (The jungle maze doesn't count). And also, there were like no people there! Seriously, it's been years since I've seen the place that quiet. Even with one train operation on the coasters you could still walk straight on most of the time, the longest wait of the day was for the Giant Turd at around 15 mins.
Cue lots and lots of re-rides, front and back row rides, ALL the flats and water rides and plenty of gooning about on the crappy filler attractions like Depth Charge, Storm Surge and the dodgems. Be honest, who
doesn't love dodgems??
A fab day all in all then. Despite the Giant Turd, I still maintain that this is one of my favourite parks. Love the place! If you're lucky enough to drop in on a quiet day when ride closures are kept to a minimum, Thorpe Park really is hard to beat!